Reasons people divorce

[irc333]

Yesterday, I was floored by a female friend of mine that unexpectedly got a divorce. The only way I found this out is when she had recently joined a Singles Meetup group.

 

I contacted her and asked, "Hey, what's up, are you and <his name> split up?"

 

And she said, "Yep, we got the big 'D'".

 

I was kind of saddened by it, because I thought they were doing so well. Sadly, they weren't married long at all, like 2 may be 3 years. In fact, with a marraige that long, they should've just dated that long as most couples just date for htat period of time.

 

Her reason, "He's not the man I thought he was."

 

Rather vague, but I thought he was a pretty decent guy, but then she said, "He had a lot people fooled."

 

Again, not sure what that means, but shouldn't you attempt to find out more about someone prior to marrying them? Is what she said any reason to divorce? Sounds like she didn't want to even attempt to work at it.

[PegNosePete]

You said they were married for 2 or 3 years. How long did they date before marrying?

 

How do you know what she said is the truth? Maybe she didn't want to say, "I had sex with my ex and he booted me out".

 

It's quite common for divorcees to make up a "cover story", either jointly to avoid airing dirty laundry, or single handedly because they don't want to admit or talk about the truth. Often they even believe their own cover story (gaslighting themselves!). For example my ex wife went around telling all the neighbours that we were getting divorced because I was holding her back and controlling her. Reality is, she had an affair.

 

It doesn't sound like you know this woman very well. Why would she tell you all the grizzly details of her divorce, that she is probably sick and tired of talking about because it brings back all those negative emotions that she is trying to get over? No, much better to give some vague response and discourage you from prying.

Edited September 24, 2014 by PegNosePete

[irc333]

I think they dated over a year before marrying. Man, I've had total strangers tell me their detailed story of their divorces, so I guess it varies from person to person.

 

Had this one woman at a Singles Meetup tell me her sob story and I didn't even ask only because, but we were talking about dating and relationships in general is when she spilled her guts , and she just met me. lol

 

 

You said they were married for 2 or 3 years. How long did they date before marrying?

 

How do you know what she said is the truth? Maybe she didn't want to say, "I had sex with my ex and he booted me out".

 

It's quite common for divorcees to make up a "cover story", either jointly to avoid airing dirty laundry, or single handedly because they don't want to admit or talk about the truth. Often they even believe their own cover story (gaslighting themselves!). For example my ex wife went around telling all the neighbours that we were getting divorced because I was holding her back and controlling her. Reality is, she had an affair.

 

It doesn't sound like you know this woman very well. Why would she tell you all the grizzly details of her divorce, that she is probably sick and tired of talking about because it brings back all those negative emotions that she is trying to get over? No, much better to give some vague response and discourage you from prying.