first date nerves!!

[amyO]

So I have a date tomorrow night with a guy I met through a dating app. I honestly never thought I would join something like a dating website/app to meet someone. However, after one of my friends had good luck with it I decided to give it a try. This guy seems like a really nice guy. Obviously, I don't know much about him, but I was a little bit of a creep and googled him to find out more (haha ) I found some social media accounts and saw videos of him in college of when he reported for his school's news. Even seeing a glimpse of those made me even more attracted to him. He again, seems like an ordinary, educated and well-rounded post-grad type of guy.

 

I have to admit I'm really nervous to meet him. I've been having some bad luck with the guys I've met in the last year. Two of which were my own fault in a sense and I should have never been involved with. I've been having fears lately that this type of situation will keep occurring. I want more than anything to meet a great and trustworthy guy. I'm scared it's not going to happen. I don't want these feelings to get in the way at all tomorrow. I have a lot of doubts and I'm not sure how to stop thinking in that way.

 

any helpful advice?

[d0nnivain]

Downshift. Lower your expectations. the idea that you have been chatting & will now meet is unlikely to result in a thunderbolt of true love forever.

 

Keep the date in a public place & keep it short. Limit your own alcohol consumption.

 

I'm a bit paranoid so make sure somebody you love & trust knows where you are going to meet this new guy. Even though you have been "talking" he's still a stranger. With OLD I always had a good GF call me mid-date to check in & so I could fake an emergency if it was really bad.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Well, for me being a guy. I don't feel comfortable when the woman can't feel confident enough to be herself.

 

Not that I date... Long story... Just it puts a lot of effort that is not natural feeling on the date. I say that because the few times I have had with women on out n bout moments, seemed so odd over having friends around. Like how come they are not themselves??? Just putting that out there.

 

You can do this, and it works for when you are not sure about peeps in general. I do this online. Here it is... DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING! Just let what happens happen. This way you should feel a bit more comfortable and allow yourself to see whether or not the guy is more or less to you liking. That simple.

[angel.eyes]

Have zero expectations going into the date. Your goal is to meet someone new, have a fun chat, and get out of the house for an hour or two. Nothing more!

 

If something comes of it...a longer than expected date? ...A second date perhaps? Great! If not? Oh well, on to the next. You'll find someone else. Rome wasn't built in a day.

[OwMyEyeball]

I'm going to jump aboard the "have no expectations" train that other members have going.

 

If worrying is a common habit of yours, it is for many including myself, then I'd recommend a book by Dale Carnegie titled How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It comes off as corny and sometimes has me picturing a 1930's car salesman, but that kind of adds to the light-heartedness of the presentation.

 

It was first published in 1948 and to my knowledge hasn't really been updated since, so you might find the references to be a bit dated, to say the least. Nonetheless, it's an enjoyable read and offers practical advice without getting into unnecessary detail.

 

Going back to those expectations that you should be avoiding - best way to do that is to occupy your time with other activities that require focus.

 

Enjoy your date