Consolidated discussion: The No Contact Guide and No Contact process and experience

[AT575]

I’m sorry you also got not reply. It’s a terrible feeling. I have not messaged since I sent that message. I have good days and I have bad days. I just keep telling myself if this person really wanted to talk to me or have them in their life then they would make the effort to do so. Someone that treats me like that does not deserve my time and energy. Much easier said than done. Bottom line remember to respect yourself. Be kind to yourself. It’s been over two months since I’ve heard anything on his end. Mornings are still the hardest but not looking at his social media has really helped. Trust me I am tempted to everyday but I don’t want to feel how I did after I messaged and got no reply or see photos of him with someone else. As much as you want to reach out, want to check up on them. Don’t. It sets you back big time.

[Revelation]

Hello everyone! Discovered this site today while at work and constantly checking my phone--a habit of expecting texts from my now-ex. Broke up 11 days ago, and last spoke on the phone last Wednesday, when I got a text about her coming by to get her stuff. I then got flooded with emotion and called, wanting to talk and process things, maybe even try to fix it. I could tell by her tone that there was no hope, yet called back again several minutes later, just expressing how it was odd that we were breaking up in a fairly civil manner, as opposed to our earlier fights and breakups, where we were wound up. I did tell her that I need to stop processing my thoughts with her and stop trying to force it and instead accept it. Said our sorrys and that was that. Haven't talked to her since last Wed, but think about her every day, going through different emotions.

 

Overall she treated me better than I treated her, but she had little time for me with other responsibilities. I think it's for the best, for her to not deal with my moods and neediness and for me to work on becoming a better person, and down the line--a better partner.

 

I am doing a good job at staying away from checking on her on social media. I am troubled by occasional thoughts of wanting her to fail; maybe out of hurt, maybe Im just a miserable guy by nature. Then at other, less frequent times I do wish her well, as she is a good person and deserves well. I know people grieve differently, I just wanted to acknowledge that aside from blaming (her, then myself) these troublesome thoughts are there. I do snap out of it and re-focus on the future and learning from my mistakes, but that rabbit hole sure has my name.

Edited February 27, 2018 by Revelation

[NotASkunk]

No contact for a year basically-his choice but all for the best. Will always have a hard time forgiving myself and will always have a hard time dealing with how angry he made me and how I allowed it. And sometime still do. But dealing! Making friends, dating someone sweet who is okay with keeping things where I need them to be. What still really tugs though? How I will sometimes remember the fun we had. And miss THAT him. That’s when I wish we could have somehow made the friend thing work even though we sucked as a couple. Planning a solo trip to “our city” with the intension of reclaiming it for myself again and it’s dedging up memories. Time, wounds, healing.