KarlaB Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 So my STBX goes away every other weekend to his "friends" house which is a guy but I have had this feeling there is another woman. So after some digging I am 99.9% sure there is another woman. I have ask before but he has denied it of course. Since I only have 9 days left in the house I am not wanting to rock the boat but I am so PISSED!!! I know he has moved on, I know I am moving on, but it still hurts all the same. I know I shouldn't care but after 15 years it's hard not to. I just want to punch him in the face. I am just so hurt that he would do that and that he is not the person I married. Just venting.. If you have any words of wisdom please share. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 (edited) I am glad to see your strong and allow yourself to be angry. That in its self will allow you to move on easier. Plus your strength will make you difficult at times. So when you find yourself in another relationship. You can be more assertive in allowing for full understanding and mutual agreements of each other needs and wants. Than to make demands to meet your needs. He may feel always watched and scrutinized for being less thoughtful while away, if he does not understand who you are, while keeping your faults hidden. I have not said much about faults to anyone, as it sounds like an issue. Faults only become an issue if never accepted by both parties. In my relationship we know each others faults, and accept them as they are. Having them out in the open, allows us know what effects the other, and understand their needs. Having that, we have grown out of our faults, to be issue free. Not all relationships are that simple, but with proper talk, and having a reassessment of your relationship when progressing to a new level, will make any relationship easier than not. Even though I speak to you from an LDR level, no matter what relationship you go through, they all require some growth to achieve a new level. We have grown into 4 levels of our relationship. Casual friends, meaningful friends, Lovers, and SM. Our last level will be when we meet. As we have our 3+ years of LDR for now. Edited September 25, 2014 by sdrawkcaB ssA Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I know he has moved on, I know I am moving on, but it still hurts all the same. I know I shouldn't care but after 15 years it's hard not to. I just want to punch him in the face. I am just so hurt that he would do that and that he is not the person I married. Just venting.. If you have any words of wisdom please share. Thanks. On some level he's making your path easier as, with anger, comes purpose. Were he thoughtful, nice and considerate you might waiver from what needs to be done. Doesn't sound like that's an issue ... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KarlaB Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 No he is making it very easy to see this is for sure over! But what isn't easy to digest is not knowing the truth, which I know I may never get but deserve after 15 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KarlaB Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 So tonight we had a blow up and I told him I knew something was going on and he got so pissed and said to think what I want.. If I was going to act like that he was leaving.. If it wasn't for my son being there I would have said let me get the door... but it's his weekend with Cooper. I told him I have a week left. He said if I am going to make it difficult then he is leaving. I said nope one week and I am out. Monday and Tuesday are my days with our son so it wouldn't surprise me if he gets a hotel room those 2 nights. I can't wait to be gone I am to the point I can't even talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 SAY NOTHING. THAT IS YOUR BEST STRATEGY FOR PEACE OF MIND. Go see the Doctor also. You need to be calm and cool, easier said than done. The cooler you are - the better you look. The one that keeps their cool, is in control. When you lose, you are not in control. Do you want to br in control of yourself, or do you want to allow him access to push your buttons and visa-versa? Read Homer McDonald - respond accordingly. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
Author KarlaB Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 One week left, one week left.. that is what I keep saying... Thanks Yas Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) One week left, one week left.. that is what I keep saying... Thanks Yas Hon, when Baskin Robbins is out of Rocky Road, dont get angry, and jump up and down, saying, accusingly, to the clerk, "Oh, I know you another person got my Rocky Road, I want justice!" Instead be totally cool, look over the other selections, maybe try Rasberry Swurl, you might prefer it. When you don't like the theory in practice (it's clear he's moved on), then change the theory (make it clear, especially to yourself, that you've moved on). Actions speak loader than words. You feel me? Nite nite, sweetheart. Everything is gonna be ok. Yas Edited September 26, 2014 by Yasuandio Link to post Share on other sites
Author KarlaB Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 I love that analogy, thanks. Although if they were out of Jamocha Almond Fudge I might throw a fit! HA..the good thing with this blow up, I don't have knots in my stomach wondering what he is going to do.. Because I don't care!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I love that analogy, thanks. Although if they were out of Jamocha Almond Fudge I might throw a fit! HA..the good thing with this blow up, I don't have knots in my stomach wondering what he is going to do.. Because I don't care!!!! Honey, try to lay off the nut flavors. OK? Yas Link to post Share on other sites
Author KarlaB Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Honey, try to lay off the nut flavors. OK? Yas Your right.. I have one too many nuts already in my life! Link to post Share on other sites
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