IttyBittyKitty Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I am in search of dating advice! My bf and i broke up 4 months ago and ive been asked out a few times since then but not in a way that makes me want to actually go out. Maybe im just oldschool but i want to go on a real date not a group date or hanging out and watching tv and playing video games! I like that stuff too but i just feel like it should be saved for later on in the relationship, not right at the beginning. I want a guy who takes me to a nice dinner where i can dress up and show off my amazing shoe collection! Heehee Im 22 tho, am i just weird? Are there any real gentlemen left in the world??? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Yes there are. However alot of men your age are broke because they are just out of school and reeling in debt. It is great that you have the money for a large shoe collection but this isn't the norm. Keep living and you will get the dates that you want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I don't date like that anymore, I got fed up with flaking and paying for stuff. Make plans and they flake and I get bummed out with nothing to do. I just make my own plans with friends and let them know what I'm up to. If they show up, cool, if not it doesn't ruin my day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author IttyBittyKitty Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 Yes there are. However alot of men your age are broke because they are just out of school and reeling in debt. It is great that you have the money for a large shoe collection but this isn't the norm. Keep living and you will get the dates that you want. I was just joking about the shoe collection. Im definitely not rich at all but it would be nice to go to a nice dinner on a first date at least! Maybe i should date older guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Author IttyBittyKitty Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 I don't date like that anymore, I got fed up with flaking and paying for stuff. Make plans and they flake and I get bummed out with nothing to do. I just make my own plans with friends and let them know what I'm up to. If they show up, cool, if not it doesn't ruin my day. Thats sad. I guess i really am just oldschool. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I was just joking about the shoe collection. Im definitely not rich at all but it would be nice to go to a nice dinner on a first date at least! Maybe i should date older guys? Ugh, dinner date for a first date? That's boring. All we are going to do is watch each other eat and talk. What do you like to do for fun? My first date with her was hiking, then we walked through tide pools and then sat on the beach for a couple hours. Of course we were talking the entire time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Thats sad. I guess i really am just oldschool. I actually think it works better. It puts people at ease in their atmosphere and girls seem to show up more often than not. I think it takes away that nervous feeling girls get right before they flake out. Lol You get to meet their friends and get a better idea of what kinda person they are and the people the associate with. You can leave whenever you want, you dont get stuck there alone on a date if you get uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Personally, I'm not a huge fan of being taken out to a fancy restaurant or something on a first date. I'm super easy to please though and my first date with my ex was Wendy's and then a movie even though he really wanted to take me somewhere nice. A nice walk downtown, going to a museum, even going bowling is what I'd prefer. Something fun and no one is "expected" to pay a $180 food and drink bill for someone they may never see again. Men shouldn't have to prove their worth with a credit card, I'd rather get to know the person. The last two guys I've dated since my ex had taken me out to eat and it didn't really feel comfortable and on the second date with one of the guys I was about to pay for the movie and he looked so offended! However, I also would not feel comfortable with going to someone's place or inviting them over for the first date. I don't know that person and I'd rather meet in public. Also, going to "hang out", you skip the getting to know someone part and it feels like you're right into a relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Psst Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I actually think it works better. It puts people at ease in their atmosphere and girls seem to show up more often than not. I think it takes away that nervous feeling girls get right before they flake out. Lol You get to meet their friends and get a better idea of what kinda person they are and the people the associate with. You can leave whenever you want, you dont get stuck there alone on a date if you get uncomfortable. How long have you been taking this approach and how many serious romantic relationships have you landed in this time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I am in search of dating advice! My bf and i broke up 4 months ago and ive been asked out a few times since then but not in a way that makes me want to actually go out. Maybe im just oldschool but i want to go on a real date not a group date or hanging out and watching tv and playing video games! I like that stuff too but i just feel like it should be saved for later on in the relationship, not right at the beginning. I want a guy who takes me to a nice dinner where i can dress up and show off my amazing shoe collection! Heehee Im 22 tho, am i just weird? Are there any real gentlemen left in the world??? No, you aren't weird. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be taken out on a date rather than being asked to "hang out." (Ugh, how unromantic and lazy.) There are gentlemen out there who will realize this; you might just have to be a little patient. I feel sorry for you young gals these days because these hang out dates seem to be very popular. They are a really easy way for a guy to be lazy and cheap and to try to get you into bed. It can also be really dangerous if you don't know the guy. If a guy asks you out and suggests one of these hang out dates, tell him you would rather go out and see how he responds. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 How long have you been taking this approach and how many serious romantic relationships have you landed in this time? I decided that about 3 months ago. Met 2 girls since, the first one I wasn't feeling. Met another girl last week. I told her i was going bowling and she was welcome to come. She came and brought a friend with her. We had a good time and we've been texting since. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I was just joking about the shoe collection. Im definitely not rich at all but it would be nice to go to a nice dinner on a first date at least! Maybe i should date older guys? No, don't date older guys just to get a nice dinner. Date someone you really like and save for special dinner out. Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I get that. I would feel very uncomfortable getting to know someone with friends hanging around that I don't know. But that has nothing to do with me wanting wanting or not wanting to wine & dine a woman. Plus, going to a movie or watching tv sucks on a date. Get that too. Come to think of it... I totallly agree with the OP Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 No, you aren't weird. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be taken out on a date rather than being asked to "hang out." (Ugh, how unromantic and lazy.) There are gentlemen out there who will realize this; you might just have to be a little patient. I feel sorry for you young gals these days because these hang out dates seem to be very popular. They are a really easy way for a guy to be lazy and cheap and to try to get you into bed. It can also be really dangerous if you don't know the guy. If a guy asks you out and suggests one of these hang out dates, tell him you would rather go out and see how he responds. How is that lazy or an easy way to get a girl in bed? And how is going out with a group of people any more dangerous than , just you and him? If you're on your first date, usually you don't really know each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Take her on a picknick. Make bagels. Women love bagels, it is Cupid food: How to Make a Ham and Cheese Bagel: 13 Steps - wikiHow Unfortunately for OP, she can't show off her fancy shoes in a fancy restaurant while out in the wild. But bagels and a picknick are more fun and memorable anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Destined2B Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I don't date like that anymore, I got fed up with flaking and paying for stuff. Make plans and they flake and I get bummed out with nothing to do. I just make my own plans with friends and let them know what I'm up to. If they show up, cool, if not it doesn't ruin my day. Just out of curiosity, did you find that advice online? The last sentence sounds very familiar. I can see how this method maybe good for a man's ego, as it makes him look self-reliant and independent but I also think that it isn't very honest or efficient. Why take an extra step of hanging out? Might as well state your true intentions and get to know another person right away. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Take her on a picknick. Make bagels. Women love bagels, it is Cupid food: How to Make a Ham and Cheese Bagel: 13 Steps - wikiHow Unfortunately for OP, she can't show off her fancy shoes in a fancy restaurant while out in the wild. But bagels and a picknick are more fun and memorable anyway. Add wine to that order of bagels and I'm there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author IttyBittyKitty Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 I feel like people are getting the wrong idea about me. Im not a golddigger, i just want to go out for dinner and get to know a guy instead of hanging out with his friends or playing video games but not that i dont like that stuff too, i just want to get to know him first. I was joking around about the fancy dinner stuff but dinner would be nice. I want to talk to a guy and get to know him instead of him just mostly trying to hook up with me which is what it feels like most of the time. Is that so wrong? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 There's nothing wrong with wanting a date instead of just hanging out at some stranger's house playing games. To me it would be important to know up front the person is diversified and doesn't expect to just do nothing productive with their life and enjoys a variety of activities or things will get boring very fast. My basic feeling is if the guy can't leave his video games long enough to take a girl out on a proper first date -- well, this is his best behavior, so I'd hate to see his worst. Anyone who would do that on a first date is going to be a nonproductive recluse. It's just so much wasted time when that's their main interest. If that's their idea of a special time, run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I feel like people are getting the wrong idea about me. Im not a golddigger, i just want to go out for dinner and get to know a guy instead of hanging out with his friends or playing video games but not that i dont like that stuff too, i just want to get to know him first. I was joking around about the fancy dinner stuff but dinner would be nice. I want to talk to a guy and get to know him instead of him just mostly trying to hook up with me which is what it feels like most of the time. Is that so wrong? Of course it's not wrong. You just need to meet like-minded people to date and they will most likely be interested in the same thing. I'm a gamer but would not want to spend a first date playing video games either. The extent of video game playing on a first date for me would be going to an arcade not sitting on some dude's couch watching him yell at people killing him in Halo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Just out of curiosity, did you find that advice online? The last sentence sounds very familiar. I can see how this method maybe good for a man's ego, as it makes him look self-reliant and independent but I also think that it isn't very honest or efficient. Why take an extra step of hanging out? Might as well state your true intentions and get to know another person right away. No I didn't get this online and I'm not sure what you're asking me. I don't know if this is the best approach, I don't tell people to do it this way. I just called the quits dating. I got tired of chasing girls, setting up dates and getting flaked on, it got too frustrating as well as embarrassing. What do you mean, extra step, my true intentions? Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I feel like people are getting the wrong idea about me. Im not a golddigger, i just want to go out for dinner and get to know a guy instead of hanging out with his friends or playing video games but not that i dont like that stuff too, i just want to get to know him first. I was joking around about the fancy dinner stuff but dinner would be nice. I want to talk to a guy and get to know him instead of him just mostly trying to hook up with me which is what it feels like most of the time. Is that so wrong? I see what your saying, they basically hangout and do nothing. They wouldn't happen to be pot heads? Lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author IttyBittyKitty Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 Hahaha not that I know of! Maybe I'll try online dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IttyBittyKitty Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 Ugh, dinner date for a first date? That's boring. All we are going to do is watch each other eat and talk. What do you like to do for fun? My first date with her was hiking, then we walked through tide pools and then sat on the beach for a couple hours. Of course we were talking the entire time. What's wrong with talking and getting to know someone? Although I know what you're saying. I just meant I want to go out with a guy without his buddies around, or without sitting around doing nothing. Talk about boring!! Dating is hard in California! Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 What's wrong with talking and getting to know someone? Although I know what you're saying. I just meant I want to go out with a guy without his buddies around, or without sitting around doing nothing. Talk about boring!! Dating is hard in California! I know, so many guys to choose from. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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