Dating!

[Phoe]

Dating is hard in California!

 

This is something I can definitely agree with. Can't compare it with other places, but can't help but feel there's an extra level of difficulty here.

[somedude81]

What's wrong with talking and getting to know someone?

 

Although I know what you're saying. I just meant I want to go out with a guy without his buddies around, or without sitting around doing nothing. Talk about boring!!

 

Dating is hard in California!

 

There is nothing with talking and getting to know somebody.

 

But just sitting and talking to somebody you don't know is boring.

 

I'd rather do an activity while talking.

 

As for not wanting to be with the guy and his buddies, I completely understand that. I certainly wouldn't want an early date to be me plus her and her friends.

[IttyBittyKitty]

This is something I can definitely agree with. Can't compare it with other places, but can't help but feel there's an extra level of difficulty here.

 

I'm from Georgia and I went to college in North Carolina (altho I've been told i look like i belong in CA). The ratio of guys to girls is better in those places (for the girls at least). I guess i haven't made that many friends here yet, I've only been here for a month. Maybe that'll make it easier.

[Cristo]

I'm from Georgia and I went to college in North Carolina (altho I've been told i look like i belong in CA). The ratio of guys to girls is better in those places (for the girls at least). I guess i haven't made that many friends here yet, I've only been here for a month. Maybe that'll make it easier.

 

This is incorrect. While the ratio of single women to single men is beneficial for the women everywhere in the US (and, thus, why there is a surplus of quality men, but a drought of quality women), it's the best in California.

 

There are FAR more young single men in California than anywhere else.

 

Perhaps you are just being too picky.

[KaliLove]

This is incorrect. While the ratio of single women to single men is beneficial for the women everywhere in the US (and, thus, why there is a surplus of quality men, but a drought of quality women), it's the best in California.

 

There are FAR more young single men in California than anywhere else.

 

Perhaps you are just being too picky.

 

There's no way you can know the ratio of men to women in every single town in the US. Generally speaking, yes, there are more men than women, but that's not the case everywhere in the country.

 

As far as quality goes..that is in the eye of the beholder. One person's quality is another person's hot mess. You don't get to determine anyone else's opinion of quality.

[Phoe]

I know that in my town, there appears to be more men than women, but a big chunk of them are married. Finding ones who are single was always hard, and finding a single one who was even interested was even harder!

 

I sometimes wonder if Southern California and its Hollywood vibe kind of created an atmosphere where a decent amount of people have exceptionally elevated expectations. I have always had below average expectations, but would notice that others around me had very strict expectations. Always wondered if it was even harder for them.

[IttyBittyKitty]

I know that in my town, there appears to be more men than women, but a big chunk of them are married. Finding ones who are single was always hard, and finding a single one who was even interested was even harder!

 

I sometimes wonder if Southern California and its Hollywood vibe kind of created an atmosphere where a decent amount of people have exceptionally elevated expectations. I have always had below average expectations, but would notice that others around me had very strict expectations. Always wondered if it was even harder for them.

 

I agree with this. I think people in Southern California do have elevated expectations. But I'm not from here, so I don't! As for me, I'm confident about my looks. I don't have trouble meeting guys, I just haven't felt a connection so I'm looking for different ways to meet people. I'm going to try Meetup.Com.

[Imported]

Formal dates are great! All about wining and dining. It doesn't have to be expensive either, but I love taking a girl out to a place where she can dress-up to her hearts content without being out of place. Amaze me with your beauty, I will appreciate it

 

A place with a nice ambience and feel to it. Classy music playing loud enough just so you can enjoy it and still carry on a conversation without raising your voice. Great food, better wine, waiters dressed formally like waiters. What do you want? Order it. If you're not sure or want to try something different, I might have some suggestions.

 

I always thought "doing an activity" while getting to know someone is just a way to hide. Like, get her to enjoy an activity and associate her enjoyment of that activity to me. It's a trick. It's like walking a tight-rope with a safety net underneath. Trust me, if you can build sexual tension, a dinner conversation is anything but boring.

 

I don't online date though. Nor do I date often. But when I do, I like some formality. You put on your sexy little dress, I'll put on my suit and tie.

[Phoe]

Formal dates are great! All about wining and dining. It doesn't have to be expensive either, but I love taking a girl out to a place where she can dress-up to her hearts content without being out of place. Amaze me with your beauty, I will appreciate it

 

A place with a nice ambience and feel to it. Classy music playing loud enough just so you can enjoy it and still carry on a conversation without raising your voice. Great food, better wine, waiters dressed formally like waiters. What do you want? Order it. If you're not sure or want to try something different, I might have some suggestions.

 

I always thought "doing an activity" while getting to know someone is just a way to hide. Like, get her to enjoy an activity and associate her enjoyment of that activity to me. It's a trick. It's like walking a tight-rope with a safety net underneath. Trust me, if you can build sexual tension, a dinner conversation is anything but boring.

 

I don't online date though. Nor do I date often. But when I do, I like some formality. You put on your sexy little dress, I'll put on my suit and tie.

 

Well, it probably has a lot to do with location too. I've never gone on a formal dinner date, there aren't many places to do that around here. Because of that, I'd feel weird doing it. Coffee or bowling are some of the options here

[veggirl]

A group hang and whatnot isn't a date. I know you are 22 so you are dating young guys and maybe they are just not comfortable asking a girl on a date-date? I don't know...my bf at 20 asked me on a real first date (to Chilis lol but still...it was obvious it was a DATE not a hang out). I guess if invited to a group hang as a date, I'd suggest you throw out another idea. I don't think it needs to be a dinner date, but at least something out of the house and one on one.

 

It also kinda depends on how well you know the guy. If you already know him casually, he may think a group hang would be a good way to guage your interest, it could be a step to him asking you on a real date. idk, just trying to imagine the mind of a 22 yr old boy...

[Disillusioned]

Are there any real gentlemen left in the world???

 

Nope. Just us plastic gentlemen. :

[Imajerk17]

I am in search of dating advice! My bf and i broke up 4 months ago and ive been asked out a few times since then but not in a way that makes me want to actually go out. Maybe im just oldschool but i want to go on a real date not a group date or hanging out and watching tv and playing video games!

 

I like that stuff too but i just feel like it should be saved for later on in the relationship, not right at the beginning. I want a guy who takes me to a nice dinner where i can dress up and show off my amazing shoe collection! Heehee

 

Im 22 tho, am i just weird? Are there any real gentlemen left in the world???

 

Well OP, here is some straight talk. Many men have abandoned the "take the girl you just met out to a nice place for the first date" because they have discovered that it doesn't work for them. The girl might appreciate it and these guys might get props from their moms and other women. The net result for these guys though, seems to be a pattern of spending money on girls they hardly know and who aren't enthusiastic about seeing them again (even though they appreciated the date). That is not fun for the guy. We could go into why but that would be a much longer post.

 

If you want a guy to put some thought and planning into a first meet so it is fun and inexpensive then that is cool. Do you really expect a guy you hardly know and you're not sure you like yet to buy you a nice dinner? Sounds sort of "princess-y" to me.

 

In the best relationships I got into, we didn't go on a "proper" date until AFTER it was established that we both liked each other. Either we spent the whole night talking the night we met and already kissed and held hands (or had sex) before we went out on a "date", or we did something casual the first time. Or we met at work and discovered after several lunches over cheap cafeteria pizza that there is something there. But meeting a girl cold and taking her out someplace fancy doesn't seem to work.

Edited September 27, 2014 by Imajerk17