What's the line between LDR and non-LDR?

[windows]

This is a general question - how far away does someone have to be before you call it a LDR? 1 hour? 2 hours? 3?

[GemmaUK]

Is this walking, driving, catching a train or flying?

 

It depends on an individual's accessibility and time constraints.

[HeavenOrHell]

I'd say if you can't easily see someone within a couple of hours, ie you have to make an effort to see them as it takes a while to get there.

I wouldn't call an hour by train or car an LDR, same as you wouldn't call your job long distance if it's just an hour's travel, but flying for an hour I would because of the extra time it takes to get to the airport and check in etc etc, so it doesn't just take an hour, and planes cover a further distance in an hour.

[d0nnivain]

The line is the one at TSA. If you have to get on a plane, it's an LDR. If you don't, it's just a P.I.T.A. It's certainly not an LDR if it's less than 4 hours of travel.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I find LDR is not by miles or hours to get there. As some have LDR's that are in Jail or Prison.

 

It is all about personal face to face time spent on a daily basis.

 

There are many who don't realize they are in quasi-LDR relationship.

Mostly from lifestyles. Having a busy life only allows for a few hours a day personal contact. The rest is in text or chats or calls.

 

That is my feeling about LDR. Though there are many different ways to look at it.

[Els]

I'm going to give my stock answer to this question - does the definition really matter?

 

Personally I definitely wouldn't categorize a one or two hour drive as a LDR. Not even in the same ballpark, to me. An LDR to me would be one where despite putting in as much time and money as you can afford, you can see each other once a month tops, usually less often. So maybe a 4+ hour drive or a plane ride.

 

But really, the answer is going to be different for different people, so I don't see the point of slapping a label on it.

[justwhoiam]

how far away does someone have to be before you call it a LDR?

I agree with d0nnivain.

 

Anyway, besides the plane clue, here's the line:

LDR is a relationship in which - if you drive to your SO and spend the day together - when you drive back, you won't be home on the same day.

 

In other words, indicatively, a 5+ hour drive/trip each way. I say trip, because if the train were the quickest way to get there (besides the plane which we already mentioned), then we'd consider that for the trip time.

 

Sorry but one in the couple being in prison doesn't qualify as LDR itself.

There's a fine line between LD and D. That would only be a DR. What defines a LDR is indeed the mere distance measurable in miles/kms and the time it takes to overcome it.

[windows]

Fair enough - good responses all around guys. The real reason I was asking because a girl I had in mind lives 3 hours by train away from where I live back in my home country.

 

In this day and age - where so many commute to get to work or study - many of us already do live in quasi-LDRs, and we all have to deal with this P.I.T.A factor. (I actually had to search what d0nnivain meant by PITA. It's not a phrase we make an acronym of from where I'm from.)

[HeavenOrHell]

A partner in jail is different to a long distance r/ship, long distance means the distance is long A partner in jail maybe be local, or not too far away, or they might be a distance away which would make it an LDR.

 

All those in an LDR know they are in one, LDR doesn't mean local couples who just don't have much time to spend with each other.

 

LDR relates only to people who live some distance apart, it has no other meaning.

 

I find LDR is not by miles or hours to get there. As some have LDR's that are in Jail or Prison.

 

It is all about personal face to face time spent on a daily basis.

 

There are many who don't realize they are in quasi-LDR relationship.

Mostly from lifestyles. Having a busy life only allows for a few hours a day personal contact. The rest is in text or chats or calls.

 

That is my feeling about LDR. Though there are many different ways to look at it.

[azureorb]

Roughly 3 hours of driving. Enough driving where it makes it pretty infeasible to see them during the week, when you're working.

 

LDR implies that you can only see them in particular blocks of time -- kind of like a parent who has partial-custody. Hence, an LDR is like a "partial relationship" if it started that way.

 

LDRs technically are fine if you're casually seeing each other and aren't serious or aim to have any seriousness. However, that begs the question -- why go out of your way to see said non-serious companion?

[justwhoiam]

Roughly 3 hours of driving. Enough driving where it makes it pretty infeasible to see them during the week, when you're working.

 

LDR implies that you can only see them in particular blocks of time -- kind of like a parent who has partial-custody. Hence, an LDR is like a "partial relationship" if it started that way.

 

LDRs technically are fine if you're casually seeing each other and aren't serious or aim to have any seriousness. However, that begs the question -- why go out of your way to see said non-serious companion?

Complete nonsense. Hear this: a LD couple can spend more time together than a non LD couple. It sounds weird? You judge for yourself. About seriousness, it all depends on the people. There's serious and not serious everywhere, regardless of location. Two people gaming can be as serious as two people who met at a local bar for a one-night stand. It's just an example...

[HeavenOrHell]

On the contrary, an LDR has little to no chance of working out if it's not serious, as they require a lot of effort, time, a lot of trust, patience, loyalty, and they are often very difficult r/ships because of the distance, why would people who aren't serious about each other bother with an LDR? Why not just see someone locally?!

People in LDR's (talking about those who actually meet and spend time together) generally have very strong feelings for each other and only put up with the distance/the situation *because* they care so much.

 

Very different to couples who may casually hang out now and again if they happen to be in the area, that's more of an FWB thing, and even most people with FWB's want them close to home!

 

No-one would go out of their way to see a non serious companion, which is my point really, LDR's are generally serious.

 

 

Roughly 3 hours of driving. Enough driving where it makes it pretty infeasible to see them during the week, when you're working.

 

LDR implies that you can only see them in particular blocks of time -- kind of like a parent who has partial-custody. Hence, an LDR is like a "partial relationship" if it started that way.

 

LDRs technically are fine if you're casually seeing each other and aren't serious or aim to have any seriousness. However, that begs the question -- why go out of your way to see said non-serious companion?

[Els]

Fair enough - good responses all around guys. The real reason I was asking because a girl I had in mind lives 3 hours by train away from where I live back in my home country.

 

Ah, okay. I suppose that might just barely make it into the 'LDR' definition in my books, since 3 hours by train would probably translate to 4 hours or more in total (going to and from train station, waiting, etc).

 

But as I said before, the label doesn't really matter. How do you feel about this girl? Do you think she will be worth the investment? Because that's what LDRs are. You don't get instant gratification from them the way you do with a non-LDR relationship. Being in a LDR is essentially saying: "This is tough and it's gonna take a lot of time, money, and effort, but it's worth it for what will come after we reunite."

 

 

LDRs technically are fine if you're casually seeing each other and aren't serious or aim to have any seriousness. However, that begs the question -- why go out of your way to see said non-serious companion?

 

Have you actually BEEN in a LDR? Exactly, nobody would go out of their way to see a casual companion. That's why a 'casual LDR' is an oxymoron - it won't exist. At least not for any significant length of time.

[Tayken]

The line is the one at TSA. If you have to get on a plane, it's an LDR. If you don't, it's just a P.I.T.A. It's certainly not an LDR if it's less than 4 hours of travel.

 

 

How did you come up with this time frame?

[tiffanywastaken]

I would say if you can't just see them whenever you want, and have to plan for it to allot enough time for travel, for example its LDR.

[LittleTiger]

I'm not sure why you feel there is a need to label this potential relationship.

 

If you like the girl enough, and vice versa, you'll make the effort regardless of distance.

[windows]

How do you feel about this girl? Do you think she will be worth the investment? Because that's what LDRs are. You don't get instant gratification from them the way you do with a non-LDR relationship. Being in a LDR is essentially saying: "This is tough and it's gonna take a lot of time, money, and effort, but it's worth it for what will come after we reunite."

 

This girl is definitely worth it - and the 3-4 hour estimate was based on where she currently lives. She maybe moving closing to my area next year but that's still undecided, so I'm working with a 'worst case scenario', so to speak.

 

Edit: That said, a major city lies in the middle between where we both live. If we both share the burden of travelling if we go on a date - that could work out alright.

[Els]

This girl is definitely worth it - and the 3-4 hour estimate was based on where she currently lives. She maybe moving closing to my area next year but that's still undecided, so I'm working with a 'worst case scenario', so to speak.

 

Edit: That said, a major city lies in the middle between where we both live. If we both share the burden of travelling if we go on a date - that could work out alright.

 

Sounds good to me. Meeting in the city in the middle might be viable depending on your finances - if both of you travel there and spend the night, then you'll have to pay for a hotel room each time you meet up. But that's more of a long term concern, not immediate.

 

If you decide that she's worth it, then by all means go for it! Hope things work out for you two.