Girlfriend's jealousy affecting my job

[stressed_out]

Hey everyone,

 

I have been seeing this amazing woman for almost 2 months now and the majority of it has been great.

 

I work in hotel management and part of my job is training new hires. I had to train in a female new hire last week on the 3pm-11pm shift. My girlfriend and I both smoke weed and had been out so when the person I was training mentioned they were late because they went to the dispensary they offered me a joint for my girl and I which I accepted.

 

As soon as I got home my girlfriend blew up at me accusing me of flirting, smoking joints with the new hire, and other nonsense. I kept it professional at work other than taking 2 cigarette breaks with the new hire. We stayed up all night with her yelling at me and me trying to defend myself. She wouldn't believe me that I wasn't flirting and that I don't have an interest in the person I was training.

 

I was supposed to train the new hire on the 11pm-7am night audit shift and my girlfriend kept telling me that if I did it she would make me miserable. I tried to get out of it by calling in sick for 2 nights (which my girlfriend said she appreciated). Eventually she decided she would trust me and let me train the new hire on the audit shift even letting me take her car to work so I wouldn't have to walk.

 

When I got back the next morning she blew up again saying things like I'm an *******, if she's not happy she's going to make me miserable too, not letting me sleep making me stay up and argue and that I should have done something to get her fired. Telling me that if she knew she would have to put up with, in her words, me hanging out with other women all night that she wouldn't have pursued a relationship with me in the first place. Now she is saying that if I am put in the position of training a female new hire at night again she expects me to quit my job.

 

She told me at the beginning that she was a jealous girlfriend but I didn't realize it was this bad. It got way worse after she found out I slept with her worst enemy 11 years ago (it was a one night stand and I was drunk) and acted like by not telling her about it that I violated her trust. Any time I try to defend myself in our arguments I get called names and told I am being ****ty while she says ****ed up **** like "I can see why you were cheated on and your wife left you" and **** like that and she doesn't see a problem with it.

 

I really love this woman and want it to work out but now it is affecting my work and I don't know what to do. My stress level is through the roof and I feel like I'm ****ed.

[d0nnivain]

The weed is effecting both of your brains.

 

You have a job to do & you called in sick to appease some girl you have been dating for 60 days? Are you kidding me?

 

Either draw some meaningful boundaries in your relationship or expect to be unemployed a lot.

 

The fact that your new higher thought is was OK to give her training officer anything as an excuse for being late does not bode well for your skills as a manager. Your trainee should have been reprimanded. You should not have accepted a bribe.

[giblesp]

Do you really want to be with this girl if she acts like this? She might never change, unless she starts working on herself.

 

The first thing to do is not tolerate. No need to be up all night, you should be able to tell her once, 'no I wasn't flirting,' and that should be that.

If she starts using abusing language and you haven't even done anything, don't tolerate it. Tell her this is unacceptable and you need your space. If she's calmed down by the next day, then you can have a chat.

 

If she's willing to trust you and work on her issues, then there is hope for her to keep you.

[No Limit]

Time to break up. Even if her issues originated in being cheated on, it's obvious she isn't ready for a relationship yet. And even if you manage to talk her down, these issues will resurface, one way or another.

[lolablue17]

I like your girlfriend

 

Of course she is too jealous, but i find it nice and especially in the long future her jealousy will help your R to be always dynamic and alive.

 

In the present you should do as you feel. If you feel sometimes you can go half way for her, do it. When you feel she demands too much, be strong and do as you think you should. Always explain, always be kind and always communicate with her, but set your boundaries by actions, not necessarily by words.

[GorillaTheater]

Time to break up.

 

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/d3/3e/fa/d33efa2b6f4619971affd7da0fb29ca6.jpg

 

Good luck, buddy. You're going to need it.

[Diezel]

Um, dump her.

 

Are you going to hinder your professional career because she is going to ask you to call in sick every time you have to deal with a female?

 

Where are your testicles? Oh right, she has them.

Stand up to her and TRAIN her to DEAL WITH IT or LEAVE.

[veggirl]

Are you two already living together?

 

Sounds like you moved way too fast and didn't get to know her properly...you didn't get to know that she is a jealous nutjob before jumping in blindly. bummer, but that's what happens.

 

I can't believe you called in SICK to appease your freakishly jealous and OUT OF LINE gf. just makes you look like a chump who she can walk all over.

 

also only 2 mos in and already multiple arguments and name calling???? wtf? how sh*tty were your past relationships that you think THIS is a step up???

Edited September 26, 2014 by veggirl

[ExpatInItaly]

The relationship isn't going to work. She loses her mind over a professional obligation. Imagine what will happen if and when more serious issues arise. She's showing you she has anger problems, is manipulative and controlling, and morbidly jealous. She is not girlfriend material.

 

I cannot believe you don't have enough of a backbone to go work when you're scheduled, just to appease some seriously insecure girl you've been dating for 2 months. Where is your work ethic? Where are you boundaries? That was a bad move on your part, though I think you realize that.

 

I do get it to an extent, because I dated a man very similar to your girlfriend. Take my word for it when I say it is going to get worse. Much worse. Save yourself a world of torment and get out now. I wish I had ended my previous relationship sooner than I did, because by the time I finally walked I was so worn down from the jealousy and constant accusations that it took a long time to feel whole again.Nothing you do to make her happy will ever be good enough because it's her problem. She will always find something else to accuse you of, something else to attach her jealousy to. She does this because it's easier than admitting she has a serious problem. It's not worth it, and you can't fix it.

[smackie9]

Buddy just move out and never look back.

[batgirl]

Get out now.