Ex is so hot and cold, rougher tonight/in more pain than usual (Updated)

[singsparkles]

Wow... I can't believe how evil people can be on this forum. Seriously. It's appalling.

[NoLeafClover]

I didn't read the rest but only the orginal post..my take on this form a guys perspective is..., he is f****ING someone else. I put my hand on fire that is the case.

Whichever the case, don't believe someone who is doing this to you repeatedly. He is telling you the right things to keep you around.

[singsparkles]

I didn't read the rest but only the orginal post..my take on this form a guys perspective is..., he is f****ING someone else. I put my hand on fire that is the case.

Whichever the case, don't believe someone who is doing this to you repeatedly. He is telling you the right things to keep you around.

 

 

 

yeah, Im done looking like the village fool.

[SoThatHappened]

I'm sorry... but who are you to say I have no personality to go along with looks? You basically just told me all I have to offer is looks. You don't even know me. I find that insulting, as I'm the one with the huge heart that always gets hurt. I'm nothing on the inside like how I look on the exterior...so don't judge a book by it's cover.

I didn't say you have no personality. I said work on it, as that's what cements someone who initially falls for the looks.

 

You have a huge heart and always get hurt, huh? Well, you've admitted to blowing off the good/intelligent guys who treated you well. Huge heart... ok.

 

If you're not attracted to any guy, for whatever reason, then fine. However, you're just wanting what you can't have, and you're wanting someone who just basically used you. You're not alone in this regard, but that's not exactly showing you have a 'huge heart.'

 

And by the way, EVERYONE thought my ex was ugly except for me. I saw something in him no one else did. He has a gap inbetween his teeth, hes awkwardly skinny & tall... he just has a charming personality. That's it.

 

Charming personality? He used you, sweetheart. You don't know the difference between personality and a guy doing everything he can to get in your pants. You need to learn that.

 

Hey, I'm on your side! When you come to a forum asking for advice, you're going to get some that you don't want to hear once in a while. I know I have!

[singsparkles]

I didn't say you have no personality. I said work on it, as that's what cements someone who initially falls for the looks.

 

You have a huge heart and always get hurt, huh? Well, you've admitted to blowing off the good/intelligent guys who treated you well. Huge heart... ok.

 

If you're not attracted to any guy, for whatever reason, then fine. However, you're just wanting what you can't have, and you're wanting someone who just basically used you. You're not alone in this regard, but that's not exactly showing you have a 'huge heart.'

 

 

 

Charming personality? He used you, sweetheart. You don't know the difference between personality and a guy doing everything he can to get in your pants. You need to learn that.

 

Hey, I'm on your side! When you come to a forum asking for advice, you're going to get some that you don't want to hear once in a while. I know I have!

 

I know where you're coming from...but I never fall for "bad boys" who are bad boys from the start...

 

I always fall for guys who seem too good to be true and treat me like they've never had someone like me before, like they're smitten and swooning over me.

 

Then these same guys, months down the line, just change... and it happens every time.

 

I would never fall for a bad guy if he was bad when I first met him... but many bad men are just good at charming women into thinking they're something they're not.

 

And yes, for your answer... I do have a huge heart. My friends think its too big... I'm way too understanding and yes sometimes I let people walk all over me because of it, and I need to put my foot down and stop letting it happen.

 

 

Great, intelligent guys want me, but I have yet to feel a spark with one of them, so maybe I do have to change myself and my views on men for myself to become happy.

 

I want everything only a good guy would be willing to give me.

 

I try to change these guys after being with them for 4-5 months after I see they're bad side. But people aren't changeable and I know hes never going to change.

 

I made up my mind to go completely NC tonight.

[Xemyd]

I made up my mind to go completely NC tonight.

 

You can do it, you just have to be prepared to fight all urges to contact, it's going to be freakin' hard but you can do it!!

[KatZee]

That is very hurtful to hear as you think I'm easy, while all the long he says I'm crazy and a pain in the ass. I don't let him get away with everything without a fight. we argue every day and I basically break it off with him every time he acts like that.

 

You saying that men like him fall in love with strong women hurts more than ever. I don't even know what to say to that.

 

If he is a jerk, no strong woman would want anything to do with him anyway.

 

What you wrote just triggered a lot of emotion in me.

 

I know you mean well, but, that was a pretty big low blow. as I do have pride and ego, and to hear that, it's a low blow.

 

It triggered a lot of emotion because I think deep down you know the words ring true. At least a little bit. I don't agree that you are a strong woman.

 

I'm going to compare you to the little boy who cries wolf. So you break up with him every time he calls you crazy or a pain in the ass. Ok...and? You just keep running back to him. You "breaking it off" essentially means nothing and he is in no way threatened by you, nor does he take anything you say seriously. He treats you however he sees fit, you argue, end it, run back, rinse and repeat. He knows you won't leave him. This = weak.

 

Do you know what a strong woman looks like? A strong woman knows her worth. A strong woman would not tolerate for one second these behaviors he displays with you. A strong woman would not bother wasting her precious breath on someone who does not change. She would simply turn around and walk away, never to be heard from again. A strong woman does not have to fight and continue to tell an immature boy how amazing she is and how much she loves him. She simply understands him for what he is, realizes she deserves better and goes out to find it. A strong woman does not leave even the tiniest crack open for "possible future communication." A strong woman does not allow someone to walk all over her, and then give him another months worth of chances. He's not going to do a miraculous turn around in 30 days. That's reality. You're grasping at straws. A strong woman knows that it is not what comes out of a mans mouth that matters. It is how he acts. Actions trump words. ALWAYS. Does he ACT like a guy who's so in love? Then disregard his words. It's bull****.

[singsparkles]

It triggered a lot of emotion because I think deep down you know the words ring true. At least a little bit. I don't agree that you are a strong woman.

 

I'm going to compare you to the little boy who cries wolf. So you break up with him every time he calls you crazy or a pain in the ass. Ok...and? You just keep running back to him. You "breaking it off" essentially means nothing and he is in no way threatened by you, nor does he take anything you say seriously. He treats you however he sees fit, you argue, end it, run back, rinse and repeat. He knows you won't leave him. This = weak.

 

Do you know what a strong woman looks like? A strong woman knows her worth. A strong woman would not tolerate for one second these behaviors he displays with you. A strong woman would not bother wasting her precious breath on someone who does not change. She would simply turn around and walk away, never to be heard from again. A strong woman does not have to fight and continue to tell an immature boy how amazing she is and how much she loves him. She simply understands him for what he is, realizes she deserves better and goes out to find it. A strong woman does not leave even the tiniest crack open for "possible future communication." A strong woman does not allow someone to walk all over her, and then give him another months worth of chances. He's not going to do a miraculous turn around in 30 days. That's reality. You're grasping at straws. A strong woman knows that it is not what comes out of a mans mouth that matters. It is how he acts. Actions trump words. ALWAYS. Does he ACT like a guy who's so in love? Then disregard his words. It's bull****.

 

 

 

 

WOW...

Did writing that paragraph to put me down make you feel better about yourself? **applauds** !!!

 

OHHHHHH, And SoThatHappened "liked" it **applauds** :-)

 

You guys are just completely AMAZING PEOPLE.

 

I'm done with this site.

 

You people have no compassion and care and find it okay to put people down instead of motivating and inspiring them.

 

I know what has been said to me on this site would NEVER come out of my mouth to ANYONE.

[irresolute]

Cutie, dont take it personal. This is a public forum.

 

Just go sleep and tomorrow will be better

[singsparkles]

I INSPIRE my friends and people... even if they are weak, I would never say it. I would inspire them to be better.

 

I could never, ever call someone weak when they are down in the dumps.

 

Glad you feel better that you can call me weak and make it seem like you know "what a strong women" means...

 

A strong women has many definitions... Not just your definition

 

Some of the strongest people win battles that no one even knows about.

 

Don't EVEER judge me. You don't know the life I live.

 

I would NEVER judge you.

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways,

I'm not going to be coming on this site.

 

Peace and love and hope everyone's situations get better! All my love.

[singsparkles]

Cutie, dont take it personal. This is a public forum.

 

Just go sleep and tomorrow will be better

 

 

 

It is personal because it's about my love life and I've been called every horriible name in the book for making mistakes and having a heart.

 

Absolutely ridiculous.

 

I guess being vulnerable and wearing your heart on your sleeve makes you "weak" ... well guys, I wouldn't wanna be anything else.

 

You guys can keep your pride.

 

Pride is the killer of all things in life and a demon that takes away from the beauty of life.

 

I try not to let pride get in my way and instead be humble and wear my heart on my sleeve.

 

I'll feel better in the morning because I won't be coming on here anymore.

[SoThatHappened]

WOW...

Did writing that paragraph to put me down make you feel better about yourself? **applauds** !!!

 

OHHHHHH, And SoThatHappened "liked" it **applauds** :-)

 

You're not hearing what you want to hear and taking it out on people trying to help.

 

Sad, really.

 

This is your best avenue for information, self-improvement, advice, and healing. Yet, you get defensive every time a poster calls a spade a spade.

 

I liked the post because it fits every other piece of good advice given on this thread. Not to cut you down.

 

You need a little self-reflection. You THINK one way but are clearly putting something else out there.

 

If I came on here with my story and had 16 pages of people telling me the same thing, even if it was tough love, I'd step back a bit and think, "maybe a big part of the problem is me."

 

Instead you get defensive.

[KatZee]

Enough of the pity party. No one is attacking YOU personally and saying you're this or that. It is your behaviors being criticized. Also enough of the "I'm so kind, im so nice, I wouldn't say this or that which you're all saying to me" and on another post say you can be such a bitch that people wish they never knew.

 

You are NOT the first nor will you be the last who hangs around and continues chasing after a major dillhole. We all have and it has ALWAYS been tough love that snaps us out of it. Not fairies and sparkles and vulnerability.

 

The real world is rough. It's painful. It hurts. The real world will never be nice to you. Other people will never look at you and your self proclaimed inspiration and whatever else and say, "aww totally never going to screw this one over."

 

It is YOU that must protect yourself, your heart and that which means most to you.

[singsparkles]

I'm realizing people on this board have no clue who I am, no pun intended.

 

I, myself , decided to implement no contact tonight. I blocked him on EVERYTHING & I'm not going back.

 

But I also don't think this thread is doing me any good.

 

I'm the type of person who needs positive reinforcement and I feel very much judged instead of coming from a diff point of view like, "I understand its hard, but..." , I get stuff like, "You're being stupid and ridiculous"

 

Do you see how you just wrote "enough with the pity party"? ...How much ruder can you get!?

 

...Those are not very compassionate words.

 

Just because I let a man walk all over me for a few months doesn't make me weak.

 

I am very strong in every other area of my life.

 

I'm an LPN in school going for RN right now and I work my BUTT off every day and my schedule is monday through friday 8am to 5pm, PLUS I work weekends... so if thats not strong, then I don't know what is!

 

I never meant to be b*tchy... but there was a b*tchy tone that started in this thread earlier today and it definitely carried along with me, and for that I apologize.

 

Wish you all the best!

[KatZee]

And for the record the definition of a strong woman is not my own interpretation. It's years of reading, listening to psychologists, understanding and applying self worth behaviors. I have been your age. You have yet to be mine. I remember being 24/25 and being super naive. It's not YOU personally. It all just comes with life lessons and experience.

[singsparkles]

And for the record the definition of a strong woman is not my own interpretation. It's years of reading, listening to psychologists, understanding and applying self worth behaviors. I have been your age. You have yet to be mine. I remember being 24/25 and being super naive. It's not YOU personally. It all just comes with life lessons and experience.

 

You're right. Hope I learn from this. And hopefully one day I'll be giving advice to girls my age like you're doing. I deleted and blocked him from everything.

 

I'm sorry I got b*tchy with you... I know you're just trying to help.

 

It's just that my emotions are all over the place right now, and I'm truly sorry.

[singsparkles]

Nobody on this thread had deserved my b*tchy tone that I've had for the past hour.

 

I want to apologize to you all.

 

I blocked and deleted him from everything & I'm taking all your advice once and for all.

 

I appreciate all your support and advice.

 

I'm sorry I'm just going through a lot of emotions right now and my heart hurts.

 

I'll be okay though as long as I stick to NC this time... No more going back...

 

Enough is enough.

[SoThatHappened]

But I also don't think this thread is doing me any good.

It will if you let it and actually listen.

 

I'm the type of person who needs positive reinforcement

Not the definition of a strong woman. Do you see that?

 

Do you see how you just wrote "enough with the pity party"? ...How much ruder can you get!?

It's not rude at all. It's the truth, sweetie. Enough with playing the victim. Strong women don't throw pity parties.

 

Just because I let a man walk all over me for a few months doesn't make me weak.

Doesn't show strength either. Can you see that yet?

 

I'm an LPN in school going for RN right now and I work my BUTT off every day and my schedule is monday through friday 8am to 5pm, PLUS I work weekends...

Good for you! Get that RN and keep kickin' ass!

 

Wish you all the best!

As do we, which is why you're getting a dose of some tough love.

 

If you had a daughter doing the same thing as you, saying all the same things as you, wouldn't you be telling her the same things we're telling you?

[singsparkles]

It will if you let it and actually listen.

 

 

Not the definition of a strong woman. Do you see that?

 

 

It's not rude at all. It's the truth, sweetie. Enough with playing the victim. Strong women don't throw pity parties.

 

 

Doesn't show strength either. Can you see that yet?

 

 

Good for you! Get that RN and keep kickin' ass!

 

 

As do we, which is why you're getting a dose of some tough love.

 

If you had a daughter doing the same thing as you, saying all the same things as you, wouldn't you be telling her the same things we're telling you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why must you, for the FIFTH time, pick out all my flaws that have already been established? Wow. Maybe you have women issues and women have hurt you so much you feel the need to belittle ones who you see as weak.

 

 

 

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GIVING PEOPLE TOUGH LOVE AND CALLING THEM A "WEAK WOMAN" ... That's the lowest of the low you can do to a woman.

[singsparkles]

"Strong women don't show pity parties, strong women don't do this, dont do that... you see what you just said? it shows you're not strong"

 

 

Well, you're one weak man to talk to a woman like that.

 

Take this imaginary banana and stick it up your a**!

[irresolute]

Remember to think with your head. If you want to be strong, you must stop acting like you've been acting lately.

 

I honestly hope you stop contacting that man. Hes been using you. Im really sorry youre hurting.

[singsparkles]

Remember to think with your head. If you want to be strong, you must stop acting like you've been acting lately.

 

I honestly hope you stop contacting that man. Hes been using you. Im really sorry youre hurting.

 

 

Thank you, irresolute.

 

I totally agree. I blocked him from literally EVERYTHING tonight. I'm ready. No more...

[SoThatHappened]

Why must you, for the FIFTH time, pick out all my flaws that have already been established? Wow. Maybe you have women issues and women have hurt you so much you feel the need to belittle ones who you see as weak.

Nope, just hurt by one and don't have any women issues.

 

Was not belittling you, just trying to make you see the truth instead of what you've been imagining.

 

Have no ill-will toward you, was really just trying to help.

 

Well, you're one weak man to talk to a woman like that.

 

Take this imaginary banana and stick it up your a**!

Seeing why he doesn't want to be with you.

 

Feel free to take offense to that.

 

I'm done.

[Simon Phoenix]

"Strong women don't show pity parties, strong women don't do this, dont do that... you see what you just said? it shows you're not strong"

 

 

Well, you're one weak man to talk to a woman like that.

 

Take this imaginary banana and stick it up your a**!

 

Dude, you need to chill out. Maybe log off for the night, get a good night's sleep, and come back in here when you are a bit more rational and a bit less willing to fly off the handle. Nothing he is saying is out of bounds or insulting. Please stop attacking those trying to help you.

[singsparkles]

Dude, you need to chill out. Maybe log off for the night, get a good night's sleep, and come back in here when you are a bit more rational and a bit less willing to fly off the handle. Nothing he is saying is out of bounds or insulting. Please stop attacking those trying to help you.

 

 

first off, my name is not dude.

 

And he was calling me a weak person. That's INSULTING...

 

Does anyone on this board know what insulting means?

 

I am off to bed and not coming back to this place. You can all get off this thread now.

 

Wish you all the best.