Can men sleep with women they don't feel anything for?

[ktragers]

I went out on dates twice with this guy and nothing ever developed between us so we stayed friends, and amazingly we've gotten so much closer through friendship and have found us quite compatible for each other (something we didn't notice when dating) and we've been talking almost everyday. We've hung out a couple of times as friends and always had a good time. Last night we went out again and before he dropped me off I mentioned something along the lines of "if it weren't for another weekday next day, you can just stay at my place instead of getting back on the highway around midnight." It was probably a bit "inappropriate" but I honestly didn't feel much when I said it.

 

The thing is, he started giggling and said he got all hot and bothered by that "offer" from me. I kinda apologized, and he said that's fine, if he'd come over we'd just stay up too late. I wonder what that means? Does he mean he definitely thought we'd have sex? And then when he dropped me off he became extra gentle and loving like something's hit him, and kept telling me he had a great time.

 

I just wonder if that means he actually feels something for me because him being an emotional and sensitive person I think it's hard for him to jump in bed without hesitation if there's not an emotional connection yet, although I do know for guys sex is probably more of an urgent need too.

[mightycpa]

Can men sleep with women they don't feel anything for?

 

Both men and women can, and will, do exactly that.

[Cristo]

I went out on dates twice with this guy and nothing ever developed between us so we stayed friends, and amazingly we've gotten so much closer through friendship and have found us quite compatible for each other (something we didn't notice when dating) and we've been talking almost everyday. We've hung out a couple of times as friends and always had a good time. Last night we went out again and before he dropped me off I mentioned something along the lines of "if it weren't for another weekday next day, you can just stay at my place instead of getting back on the highway around midnight." It was probably a bit "inappropriate" but I honestly didn't feel much when I said it.

 

The thing is, he started giggling and said he got all hot and bothered by that "offer" from me. I kinda apologized, and he said that's fine, if he'd come over we'd just stay up too late. I wonder what that means? Does he mean he definitely thought we'd have sex? And then when he dropped me off he became extra gentle and loving like something's hit him, and kept telling me he had a great time.

 

I just wonder if that means he actually feels something for me because him being an emotional and sensitive person I think it's hard for him to jump in bed without hesitation if there's not an emotional connection yet, although I do know for guys sex is probably more of an urgent need too.

 

Make no mistake about it, both men and women can have sex without feelings.

 

For me, I'm a sensitive guy and I do develop feelings for the women I sleep with, which is why I avoid casual sex.

[MrNate 2.0]

I went out on dates twice with this guy and nothing ever developed between us so we stayed friends, and amazingly we've gotten so much closer through friendship and have found us quite compatible for each other (something we didn't notice when dating) and we've been talking almost everyday. We've hung out a couple of times as friends and always had a good time. Last night we went out again and before he dropped me off I mentioned something along the lines of "if it weren't for another weekday next day, you can just stay at my place instead of getting back on the highway around midnight." It was probably a bit "inappropriate" but I honestly didn't feel much when I said it.

 

The thing is, he started giggling and said he got all hot and bothered by that "offer" from me. I kinda apologized, and he said that's fine, if he'd come over we'd just stay up too late. I wonder what that means? Does he mean he definitely thought we'd have sex? And then when he dropped me off he became extra gentle and loving like something's hit him, and kept telling me he had a great time.

 

I just wonder if that means he actually feels something for me because him being an emotional and sensitive person I think it's hard for him to jump in bed without hesitation if there's not an emotional connection yet, although I do know for guys sex is probably more of an urgent need too.

 

 

Well, what do you think he means?

 

Have you asked him yet to find out what he meant by that?

[mightycpa]

I assume you're asking about this because you'd like it to happen. I'm thinking about it going down something like this:

 

YOU: I want to ask you something SHOCKING and I want you to answer me with the brutally honest truth. Can you do that?

 

HIM: Sure

 

YOU : Say it. Say you'll answer me with the brutally honest truth.

 

HIM: I will.

 

YOU: Say it.

 

HIM : I will answer you with the brutally honest truth.

 

YOU: Would you like to spend the night and **** me?

 

Now, at this point, after you pick him up off the floor, resuscitate him and give him some water, he will answer with either be yes or no.

 

If he says no, he will explain himself. If he says yes, ask him why. Go from there.

 

Good luck.

[Dontfindme]

I assume you're asking about this because you'd like it to happen. I'm thinking about it going down something like this:

 

YOU: I want to ask you something SHOCKING and I want you to answer me with the brutally honest truth. Can you do that?

 

HIM: Sure

 

YOU : Say it. Say you'll answer me with the brutally honest truth.

 

HIM: I will.

 

YOU: Say it.

 

HIM : I will answer you with the brutally honest truth.

 

YOU: Would you like to spend the night and **** me?

 

Now, at this point, after you pick him up off the floor, resuscitate him and give him some water, he will answer with either be yes or no.

 

If he says no, he will explain himself. If he says yes, ask him why. Go from there.

 

Good luck.

 

Do you read Bukowski by any chance?

[mightycpa]

No. Do you think I might like his work?

 

Is Bukowski a he? I will Google it!

[jay1983]

Not repeatedly, emotions and feelings start to form. Yes men have emotions too.

[Dontfindme]

He is - Charles Bukowski

 

I love his stories. Your dialogue reminded me of him. Haha

You should check him out, if you ever get the chance, you never know you may enjoy his work.

[mightycpa]

Not repeatedly, emotions and feelings start to form. Yes men have emotions too.

 

This is true:

 

Yes men have emotions too

 

This isn't:

 

Not repeatedly, emotions and feelings start to form.

 

I have witnesses.

[LuckyLady13]

He got all hot and bothered by that "offer" and also, he suggested if he stayed over, that you'd stay up too late?

 

Okay, obviously he was flirting with you. And then got a little clingy and affectionate after that. Sounds like he wanted to get closer to you because he was trying to show you he's interested.

 

But your question is can men sleep with women they feel nothing for? Sure! Women do it every day too! Think about it for a second. Prostitutes? Since the beginning of mankind women have slept with men they feel nothing for and even pretend they do feel something for them to keep them coming back.

 

Then, there are women (such as myself) who have a FWB for months on end and feel absolutely nothing but physical attraction to the person. He wasn't relationship material but he was so hot he was irresistible when I was single!

 

Men and women can both do it and it's happening every day. But you're more interested in knowing if your guy in particular is doing this. It's hard to say with the limited information you gave about his past history. Emotional guys sometimes are the ones who are super quick to jump into things with someone, get hurt very easily, jump out and hop right into something with the next person that says just a kind word or two to him.

 

You sound more like you're in the mindset to want to sleep with someone you're in a relationship with. Then tread very carefully with this guy until you know where his head is at. Open up communication and start asking him what he's thinking, how he feels about relationships and how he feels about you but then make sure his actions are backing up his words.

 

Think about this carefully. A lot of people will say "if you're mature enough to be having sex, you're mature enough to talk to him about it" and while this is absolutely 100% true, I don't find wording it this way appropriate in your case. But if you have mis-read this guy and he's not as innocent as you think, you could end up sleeping with him and getting yourself a host of STD's, some are not prevented by condoms and also, occasionally condoms fail and you could end up with something for the rest of your life. You'd regret not talking to this guy and finding out first if he's who you think he is.

 

Going forward, please, just tread carefully.

[reliablewolf]

Make no mistake about it, both men and women can have sex without feelings.

 

For me, I'm a sensitive guy and I do develop feelings for the women I sleep with, which is why I avoid casual sex.

 

I agree with this, and I tend to stay away from casual sex for the same reason.

 

As for the OP, I think its obvious the guy finds you very attractive and probably likes you a lot as a person as well. Give him a shot!

[jay1983]

This is true:

 

 

 

This isn't:

 

 

 

I have witnesses.

 

Well FWB has never worked out for me. I start out not caring, with no feeling towards her and......IDK with all the kissing and closeness, affections started popping up. I started to get jealous when she went out with other guys and stuff like that.

[d0nnivain]

Sex & love are not the same. One is physical the other mental / emotional. Yes it is possible for both genders to have one without the other.

 

You will end up getting hurt if you assume that someone loves you just because you had any form of sex with you.

[oldshirt]

I'm not getting it, you are talking about multiple different things here.

 

 

Are you asking if in general men can sex with people they aren't in love with and aren't in an established relationship with????? You can't really be that naïve and ignorant so I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.

 

 

So then you are talking about going out with this guy a couple times, not feeling the love, and then hanging out with him after friendzoning him and now you wonder if he was thinking sexual thoughts when you offered he could stay with you.

 

 

Again, are you really that naïve or are you just wanting us to justify that you are feeling a little smug that this guy wants cuddle up under the sheets with you??

 

 

Does that all really mean that YOUR feelings for him are changing a bit and that you are now getting the warmies for him and you are just wanting a little reassurance that guys can have romanic/sexual feelings for woman after she has friendzoned him in that past?

 

 

If that is what this is really about, then yes you can relax , he will still be interested in some kind of sexual activity with you. The friendzone is pretty much an entirely female concept. There is no such thing in the male world.

 

 

The male world, all men will have sex with all women that aren't horribly obese and diseased and gross ( and only some of them would have sex the gross ones) The way it works out for men is all men would gladly have sex with all women if it were completely free and they didn't have to work at it and it wouldn't cost them anything. When men start turning away is when they have to put in effort or if it will cost them something.

 

 

When men have no sexual interest in a woman at all, they generally won't talk to them or have anything to do with them or spend any time or energy or effort or money with them at all.

 

 

so the very fact that this guy still talks to you, spends time with you and does things with you, means that he will gladly cross over into the romantic/sexual realm with you, if you open the door to that possibility.

 

 

the friendzone and "just friends" is a completely female construct, it is virtually nonexistent in the male world.

[preraph]

I would have trouble thinking of a man who didn't want to have loveless sex and frequently. So sex and even saying words like "I love you" leading up to or during sex means nothing. The only thing that means anything is actions. They're not in love if they're not trying to provide and protect you and trying to keep you from worrying about what they're doing and with whom. That's how men love who know how to love.

 

This guy seems interested in you now for more than friends. And maybe now that you are friends, it would turn into a true bf/gf relationship, so I think you should try again with him.