QueensBBabe4u Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Hi I met a man and he didnt tell me that he was still living with his wife untill a moth later.He then told me that she knows he messes around just assume he would never leave her becouse they have a baby ...He told me they have had sex in 2 yrs 3 times becouse she lost her sex drive. She didnt wanted to take her medication or do anything to chage the situation. Befor me he told me he would just mess around but he told he that he doesnt want to live a lie. Its not fair to him or her and doesnt want this to go for 20yrs... He did tell he about me and I speak with him on the phone while she is there. I dont feel soo bad becouse the relationship was over before i met him... But I do feel worried that he will go see her behind my back. We are going to get married and he plans on coming to live with me in 2 month or less.... So Im worrried will it work ...Is this really happending... Me Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 I would seriously reconsider this situation. He's lied to her, he's lying to you and you can't believe what the real truth is. His wife (and until the papers are signed, he's still a married man) must be going through alot of horrible feelings too. And that poor innocent baby too, who will now not have a daddy at home. They will always have a bond and be part of eachother's lives because of their baby. No matter what, even if you don't like it. Trust will always be an issue in this relationship because of the lying beforehand. Link to post Share on other sites
Sad Flower Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 He is deceitful..I believe he will bounce back and forth! Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 how long have you known this man? Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 it depends on how he ends or ended things with her. if he still wants to be with her then yes, it could be a problem. whether he was an MM or whatever may not matter. people get married for the 2nd or 3rd time every day and if there are kids involved there are always those issues present. my exH is getting married next month and whether his soon to be wife likes it or not, because of the kids, i will always be there, i will always be in contact with him. but, i have no desire to ever get back together with him again. he could be the last man on earth and i'd chose to enter a convent! Link to post Share on other sites
heart2heart Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 He'll likely always have contact with his wife, whether you like it or not. There is a child involved and a child they share together. This is something that all OW have to accept if they get involved with an MM who has kids with his wife - the wife is always gonna be around in the picture. Just something you gotta accept and live with. Makes me wonder if my ex H's OW gets pissed when he comes to pick up our kids once a week, knowing he is still having contact with me when he does. Like IzzyBelle though, I wouldn't have him back if he was the last man on earth, I wonder what I ever saw in him tbh! OW still likely thinks that I worship him and would take him back at the drop of a hat..........how wrong she is if she does think that way!! She's welcome to him and one of these days I will thank her for taking him, best thing she ever did! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Gawd. Here's a lesson in taking care of your partner sexually so someone else won't. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinTX Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Make sure this is not a "life style" or open marriage for them as a couple. My DH got caught up in something like that Link to post Share on other sites
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