Seeker12 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I think that, typically, women "feel" it and then cut it off instead of thinking it through. I think men don't let emotions rule the decision, but think about it logically instead. Even if that man strays and cheats, he doesn't let any "feelings" make his decision for him. He lets the little head make some rash, unemotional decisions that have nothing to do with his feelings for his SO. You are definitely right there, remember we are talking about the typical set, so as not to offend all women out there. Emotion iv found is a major factor for women, as compared to men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 6, 2014 Author Share Posted October 6, 2014 I'm not beating myself up about this, i feel i did nothing wrong and at the end of the day it was her choice and it wasn't a quick decision though it did feel like it was, just a sad way to end something that started so well and it just ends with a whimper, just wasnt meant to be at the time . the best i can do is learn from it and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Target, I couldn't find a breakdown of the time and events of your relationship. Mind giving me a quick rundown of everything? I'm thinking that this hurts so much because it was your first for a lot of things, and that's very understandable. However, I think you'll look back on this and see that it was just a learning experience, and the pain involved will fade faster than you think. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 No because of how we both felt at the time, though its just a shame that this was supposed to be the next step in our relationship and bring us closer and that she didnt enjoy it that much, viewing it as control or something :/ I actually remember you saying that she was apprehensive about sex and kept wanting to wait. Did she tell you about her feelings on control before you had sex? And i tried to be there for her and be as supportive and understanding as i could and tried everything i could but she wouldn't let me or seem to understand why i would be over other girls Sometimes trying to be there for her and supportive isn't enough when the other person has serious issues. I guess you can try to be her therapist. But when the person finally resolves their issues, they stop going to their therapist. almost seems like she has fled or something, the fact she couldn't do it face to face i guess is over the guilt she feels i guess or something. Oh I'm sure that her guilt is playing a major part in this. She knows that you did absolutely nothing wrong. Sure you were a little intense in your affections, but she knew that you really liked her and that you weren't a bad guy who would ever hurt you. Thankfully my ex had the ovaries to dump me face-to-face but she wasn't willing to see me in person ever again. She was just feeling too guilty. Today is the first day since the break-up that i have started to feel like myself again as i have realised that this is over and i can begin healing and moving on and chalk this up as experience. That sounds good. Keep moving forward. You don't want to get stuck in the past like I have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 6, 2014 Author Share Posted October 6, 2014 Target, I couldn't find a breakdown of the time and events of your relationship. Mind giving me a quick rundown of everything? I'm thinking that this hurts so much because it was your first for a lot of things, and that's very understandable. However, I think you'll look back on this and see that it was just a learning experience, and the pain involved will fade faster than you think. the full story is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/483619-so-i-got-contacted-through-fb As for the sex issue she was only concerned because of the difficulty sorting out contraception and was perfectly keen doing anything else other than the main act. after our first time she said she still finds sex awkward but its not a physical issue, and only told me it is a control thing during the break up. Hopefully in the future when i look back, i will able to look back fondly and as a learning experience just the way it has has ended has marred the whole experience for me at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 Still miss her badly , not enjoying being single gets lonely, especially at night with nobody to cuddle up to anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Understandable. But you will heal & there will be someone new to cuddle. hang in there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 8, 2014 Author Share Posted October 8, 2014 Understandable. But you will heal & there will be someone new to cuddle. hang in there. will do hopefully be able to look back at this and realise it wasn't that great anyway or something. hopefully. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 Today is the first day i have started to feel like myself also if i can find love once, i can find it again onwards and upwards!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TinaZ1990 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Sorry to hear about your pain. I really cannot speak on her behalf, but to give you a woman's perspective (again, I don't know your relationship just telling you what happened to me). A few years ago I broke up with an ex that I dated for many years, he was devastated and called me heartless, wondered if I ever loved him, blah blah. Truth is, I did, very much so, but I always had a problem with him being non-ambitious, he promised he'd change but he never did. In the end I just stopped seeing a future, and I started to see him more as a friend than anything. It was really hard for me to end it, I think I lost sleep for a good month, but ultimately I knew it was the right thing to do. Whatever happened btw you and your ex, I hope you learn from any mistakes you may have made, and just move on. The days will get better...I promise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Targetlock Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 Sorry to hear about your pain. I really cannot speak on her behalf, but to give you a woman's perspective (again, I don't know your relationship just telling you what happened to me). A few years ago I broke up with an ex that I dated for many years, he was devastated and called me heartless, wondered if I ever loved him, blah blah. Truth is, I did, very much so, but I always had a problem with him being non-ambitious, he promised he'd change but he never did. In the end I just stopped seeing a future, and I started to see him more as a friend than anything. It was really hard for me to end it, I think I lost sleep for a good month, but ultimately I knew it was the right thing to do. Whatever happened btw you and your ex, I hope you learn from any mistakes you may have made, and just move on. The days will get better...I promise. yeah it is getting there, i think the reason it ended it was all too much for her and too much pressure and it scared her away causing the feelings to fizz out maybe haven't heard from her and i dont expect to be honest. just sucks the way it ended. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts