Considering leaving my partner of 10 years

[SecretlySad]

One week ago (although what now seems like an eternity), I met a man while I was working. I had seen him around before and we had exchanged the odd glance or smile, but I didn't think much of it.

 

He approached me and started talking to me. He told me he is in a band and asked me if I would be interested in catching a show. Feeling an incredible spark between us, I said "I probably shouldn't. I'd like to, but I shouldn't..." He got the picture and figured out I was already taken.

 

Not long afterwards he again approached me and said "Look, I don't want to intrude but if you change your mind and ever want to come and see a show, here's my number".

 

I know I should have thrown it away then and there but I didn't. I sent him a text the following day saying how nice it was to meet him and thanking him again for the kind invitation. He launched straight into talking about the electricity he felt when he met me, and that he believed I felt it too. I did, but I was in total denial. I didn't want to.

 

After a few days I decided to set him straight. I asked him to meet me for lunch so I could tell him face to face that yes, ok, there is something between us but I'm in a relationship so please respect that. I did tell him that. But the remainder of the lunch ended up being one of the best days I've ever had. We talked about books and music, science and movies. Our common interests are incredible. I found myself not being able to wait to see him again.

 

I've been with my fellow as I said for 10 years. I was very young when I met him (21) and he is much older (he was 38 when we met - 17 years my senior) and I was going through a hard time. He was the only one there for me. I have always been grateful to be with such a good man. After 10 years he still loves me very very much and treats me well.

 

However, I am lonely. We have no sex life (he is very overweight and as much as he promises me it will change and I try to help him change it, it never does) and I'm sorry if it makes me an awful person but I am not attracted to him so the frequent sex stopped long ago. So have so many outings (e.g. beach) because he's embarrassed. We spend our evenings in separate rooms (him on the computer in our bedroom selling things on eBay, me in the living room watching tv or reading) before going to bed at night. He also has a tendency to be aggressive (verbally) sometimes which leaves me literally shaking.

 

The feelings I have for this new man go beyond the physical. I know it sounds insane but there is something real there. He has not been harassing me or pushing me. I have tried this week to push the feelings I'm having down to my toes and walk all over them until they turn to dust but I can't seem to. I'm not sleeping or eating properly. The guilt of feeling this way is consuming me.

 

My current partner and I bought a property together just 9 months ago, signing a 30 year mortgage. It couldn't be worse timing.

 

I didn't plan this. I didn't expect to feel this way and in the 10 years we've been together I have never even come close to anything like this. I've always been faithful and loyal but I feel like I can't turn my back on this. What would you do?

[CarrieT]

What would you do?

Be honest with the guy who bought the property and leave the relationship.

 

The more you contact the new guy, the more you will be likely to go down the slippery slope of becoming a cheater. You are already having an Emotional Affair.

 

Many of us have been there and it can't end well if you continue to deceive.

[Dork Vader]

It's truly amazing how every single cheater comes on here and at some point in their post there is some long rant about all the things they dislike about their SO. Do you people not realize how petty and cheap that is? You very well may not like those things but it is not, and never will be justification to cheat.

 

 

If things are soo bad in your relationship. You have two options fix it and be dedicated to fixing it or end the relationship. But going out and cheating is by far the most selfish thing a person can do in a relationship. No matter how much your partner deserves it. JUST DUMP THEM.

 

 

But you don't want too dump them. You want to have both your "love" and explore your other options.

 

 

You did not go to lunch with this other man to end things. You went to lunch with this other man to see him. You could have easily said hey sorry I have a boy friend was nice meeting you. Then blocked his number. But you don't want that.

 

 

So do your current boy friend a favor and dump him. You don't care about him and you do not love him. If you loved him none of this would be going on.

[SecretlySad]

Wow, ok Dork Vader. It sure sounds like you've never made a mistake in your life. Good for you.

 

Listing those reasons was not me trying to justify my behaviour. They've been issues in our relationship for years, way way before I met this guy. Ones that I/we have tried over and over to fix. He refuses to even TRY and get healthy.

 

Yes you're probably right. I felt something I couldn't ignore and I did want to see him again, but I also like to talk things out face to face. I was hoping to be straight with him and walk away feeling nothing, discovering we have little in common, that I don't like his company or that we'd be better off as friends. But the total opposite happened. I don't feel good about it but it did.

[Dork Vader]

Wow, ok Dork Vader. It sure sounds like you've never made a mistake in your life. Good for you.

 

Listing those reasons was not me trying to justify my behaviour. They've been issues in our relationship for years, way way before I met this guy. Ones that I/we have tried over and over to fix. He refuses to even TRY and get healthy.

 

Yes you're probably right. I felt something I couldn't ignore and I did want to see him again, but I also like to talk things out face to face. I was hoping to be straight with him and walk away feeling nothing, discovering we have little in common, that I don't like his company or that we'd be better off as friends. But the total opposite happened. I don't feel good about it but it did.

 

I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. But I have absolutely no respect for cheaters. As I said it is the most selfish thing a person can do in a relationship.

 

 

You're not a bad person if you want to be single and date. If you want out of your relationship. But to do it behind your partners back, is by far the most selfish thing a person can do in a relationship.

 

 

What ever you do quit seeing the new guy until you figure out what you want. Whether it's to stay with your current boy friend OR date. But spare him the pain of dealing with cheating.

Edited September 29, 2014 by Dork Vader

[SecretlySad]

You could have fooled me. You seem incredibly judgmental.

 

Up until a week ago I was exactly like you. I couldn't fathom how someone could love someone else yet have feelings for a third party and act on them, even if nothing physical happened.

 

When I would express my disgust people would often say things to me like "Sometimes it just happens. You can't control, push away or ignore your feelings all the time". I thought that was a load of rubbish until it happened to me.

 

You hear stories all the time about people meeting the love of their life while they happened to be with someone else. I'm assuming you don't respect them either.

[lolablue17]

You should use this incident as a mirror in your face reflecting your current relationship.

 

It is pretty much clear that you no longer love your man. You appreciate him, you like him, you may even adore him, but the love is gone long ago.

 

I believe that your desire to love someone is so strong, so you probably would want almost anyone who comes and makes a move to your direction. Two things on my mind:

 

1. You mustn't stay in a relationship out of pity or mercy. If you stay, it should be because you want to stay. Hard as it sounds, i believe you're young and needs love, the thing you will probably never have with your man.

 

2. Be careful to jump so fast on the first guy who noticed you. Because although you're sure he is the one, and there's something very strong there, at least part of it is due to your special situation being in a serious lack of love for so long. your mind exaggerates things to look much stronger in relation to what they really are.

 

To your own interest, I advice you to totally split between ending your current R, from managing your future love life. Don't mix them, otherwise you will find your self at the same spot in few years from now.

Edited September 29, 2014 by lolablue17

[SecretlySad]

You should use this incident as a mirror in your face reflecting your current relationship.

 

It is pretty much clear that you no longer love your man. You appreciate him, you like him, you may even adore him, but the love is gone long ago.

 

I believe that your desire to love someone is so strong, so you probably would want almost anyone who comes and makes a move to your direction. Two things on my mind:

 

1. You mustn't stay in a relationship out of pity or mercy. If you stay, it should be because you want to stay. Hard as it sounds, i believe you're young and needs love, the thing you will probably never have with your man.

 

2. Be careful to jump so fast on the first guy who noticed you. Because although you're sure he is the one, and there's something very strong there, at least part of it is due to your special situation being in a serious lack of love for so long. your mind exaggerates things to look much stronger in relation to what they really are.

 

To your own interest, I advice you to totally split between ending your current R, from managing your future love life. Don't mix them, otherwise you will find your self at the same spot in few years from now.

 

 

Thank you for the advice.

 

Yes, you’re right. I adore him and I do still believe I love him but it’s not the same kind of love it once was. I’ve spent today trying to workout my reasons for wanting to do this until I just came to a simple conclusion;I’m not happy. I haven’t been for a while. I enjoy his company but I don’t like my LIFE with him. If that makes any sense?

 

I agree very much with number 1. Staying for those reasons and those reasons alone do more harm than good.

 

 

As for 2, if I was to pursue anything with this man it would betaken painstakingly slow. Many men have noticed me over the years but this is the first time I've felt the same back.

[CarrieT]

You hear stories all the time about people meeting the love of their life while they happened to be with someone else. I'm assuming you don't respect them either.

We hear it all the time - all day long on this site. The difference is how they go about it when it happens and you have already started that slippery slope of deception.

 

And that "going to lunch to set him straight" business? THAT is what we don't respect. The rationale for actions that you, yourself know were wrong.

 

You aren't happy in your life and your relationship. We get that. Many of us have done that. Heck, I did it. I lied and deceived a man I was living with for 11 years to be with someone with whom I had that inexplicable spark.

 

For the record, the first time I met Mr. Spark after our correspondence, I immediately left our lunch meeting - literally, 10 minutes within being with him - and drove him and told my partner of 11 years what happened and how far I had gone in my craziness. We stayed together another week while talking through what had brought me to that point and then I pursued the other guy. (BTW, it was the ending of *that* relationship 2 1/2 years later that brought me to LS as it was, ultimately, a very toxic relationship).

 

We see that you have outgrown the man you are living with. We just want to help you make the right decisions to keep from becoming the type of person that shows up here all the time; in an affair mode and desperate to have their cake and eat it too. You are early in your game on this and can fix it before it goes too far.

 

Be honest with the guy you live with. End it amicably now, before you commence another relationship.

[SecretlySad]

Thank you for your kind words, Carrie and LadyLuck.It’s quite amazing how well you can read my situation; I mentioned nothing aboutfeeling like I’ve “outgrown” our relationship, but it’s something I’ve felt fora while.

 

 

Carrie I’m so sorry to hear the man you chose topursue ended up being toxic.

[Justanaverageguy]

We hear it all the time - all day long on this site. The difference is how they go about it when it happens and you have already started that slippery slope of deception.

 

We just want to help you make the right decisions to keep from becoming the type of person that shows up here all the time; in an affair mode and desperate to have their cake and eat it too. You are early in your game on this and can fix it before it goes too far.

 

Be honest with the guy you live with. End it amicably now, before you commence another relationship.

 

Yeah agree with above.

 

Unfortunately what I see with most (not all but close to it) women who go through this is that they normally want to have their cake and eat it too and rarely do the right thing by their long term partner. Why ? Because all you have with this new guy is sexual attraction - thats it - nothing more. Women want to be with the new guy - but they aren't willing to give up the security of their long term relationship until they know if there is something more there. So they dabble in both and blame their horrible long term partner for all the reasons he made them do it. Either cheating - or telling their partner they need a separation to figure out "how they feel" or "what they want". This is BS and just a way to put their partner on standby while they go and have a fling with the new guy to see if it works.

 

Lets be straight here - if you cheat - if you leave your partner for him. Thats on you. That's your decision. Do not cop out. Do not blame your partner for that. I see it time and again with women justifying their actions for the needs their partner didn't meet - but which they never even raised as serious issues in the relationship at any time.

 

See you can kid yourself and call it chemistry, call it electricity, call it "a connection" - all those ridiculous words women use. Say you never felt this way about a man before. But that is CRAP. Plain and simple you want to bang this guy. That's what this is. Sexual attraction. Its not that rare and its not hard to find. You have met this guy what .... twice? So your connection is about as substantial as a conversation with a stranger on a train. You know as much about him as the postman. But you want to bang him so suddenly its a connection and "The feelings I have for this new man go beyond the physical" (BARF)

 

Justify it how ever you please. Create issues and problems with your long term partner - claim it is about the needs he has not been meeting. Invent reasons to make you cheating his fault. But if this were really about issues in your current relationship you would already have left your partner or at the very least raised these issues in a more serious way with him. But you didn't did you. No - because this only became a "real" issue when you wanted to screw the new guy and you needed a way to justify that. Now if you left your partner - he's going to know something is going on .... because you haven't made it know that you were unhappy in the current relationship. Because in truth .... you weren't.

 

As the other posters said - make a choice. Leave your partner and go explore the fling which I expect will probably last a few months or stay with your husband. But do not do both. Its weak and not fair to the good, honest and decent man who dedicated 10 years to you. That's a little more substantial connection then 2 conversations.

[Happy-Dayze]

Thank you for your kind words, Carrie and LadyLuck.It’s quite amazing how well you can read my situation; I mentioned nothing aboutfeeling like I’ve “outgrown” our relationship, but it’s something I’ve felt fora while.

 

 

Carrie I’m so sorry to hear the man you chose topursue ended up being toxic.

 

I'm a newbie first post I would like to ease my way in but can't help it on this one.

 

Reading through your thread it strikes me that you ignored any information that conflicted with you pursuing something with this man and simply cherry picked the comments from a couple of people who encouraged you to proceed. So I think I already know what that means. You weren't really here looking for advice, just looking for some sisters to support you cheating and leaving your partner. Am I right ?

 

It sounds to me like you are having the now typical "eat, pray, love" woman's midlife crisis in your early 30's. I would ask you simply what will you do if the same thing happens to you as happened to the author in the book. That being after a couple of months your new lover unceremoniously dumps your ass and your ex no longer wants a bar of you. Will you also go on an around the world holiday to find yourself and cook spaghetti in Italy ??? Sorry for being sarcastic but seriously you couldn't be a more typical example of the norm for women in their 30 these days who get bored with their LTR and their lives so go looking for some easy fun and excitement.

 

If males do this they are called misogynistic pigs, *******s, cheaters and liars. Women have a weird way of making it all seem justified - he didn't meet my needs, I fell out of love (when I met a new guy) - blah blah blah. Does my head in.

[Diezel]

I have to agree with the above poster.

 

She wants encouragement, not advice.

The whole "lunch" thing was already a huge indicator that she is willing to take this step. Don't preface a comment by saying, "I shouldn't have."... but you did. You did do it. Own up to it.

 

Listen, maybe this is the situation that makes you realize you shouldn't be with the person you currently are. But don't play the "in between" game. You are either in or you are out, but you can't be both.

 

It's not fair for ANY of the parties involved, but unfortunately, YOU are the person who holds all of the cards here and are tugging at people's emotions.

 

All your post reads of right now is... I like this new guy, but I don't want to leave the comfort of being with my "fellow" until new guy is more concrete... and that's why you are getting the reactions you are getting.

 

I'm not sure what you expected what you were going to receive upon posting that... but it wasn't going to be pom poms and cheerleaders.

[Diezel]

For those of you with time, go read her history.

 

This is a situation in the "making" for the last five years.

[SycamoreCircle]

Yeah agree with above.

 

Unfortunately what I see with most (not all but close to it) women who go through this is that they normally want to have their cake and eat it too and rarely do the right thing by their long term partner. Why ? Because all you have with this new guy is sexual attraction - thats it - nothing more. Women want to be with the new guy - but they aren't willing to give up the security of their long term relationship until they know if there is something more there. So they dabble in both and blame their horrible long term partner for all the reasons he made them do it. Either cheating - or telling their partner they need a separation to figure out "how they feel" or "what they want". This is BS and just a way to put their partner on standby while they go and have a fling with the new guy to see if it works.

 

Lets be straight here - if you cheat - if you leave your partner for him. Thats on you. That's your decision. Do not cop out. Do not blame your partner for that. I see it time and again with women justifying their actions for the needs their partner didn't meet - but which they never even raised as serious issues in the relationship at any time.

 

See you can kid yourself and call it chemistry, call it electricity, call it "a connection" - all those ridiculous words women use. Say you never felt this way about a man before. But that is CRAP. Plain and simple you want to bang this guy. That's what this is. Sexual attraction. Its not that rare and its not hard to find. You have met this guy what .... twice? So your connection is about as substantial as a conversation with a stranger on a train. You know as much about him as the postman. But you want to bang him so suddenly its a connection and "The feelings I have for this new man go beyond the physical" (BARF)

 

Justify it how ever you please. Create issues and problems with your long term partner - claim it is about the needs he has not been meeting. Invent reasons to make you cheating his fault. But if this were really about issues in your current relationship you would already have left your partner or at the very least raised these issues in a more serious way with him. But you didn't did you. No - because this only became a "real" issue when you wanted to screw the new guy and you needed a way to justify that. Now if you left your partner - he's going to know something is going on .... because you haven't made it know that you were unhappy in the current relationship. Because in truth .... you weren't.

 

As the other posters said - make a choice. Leave your partner and go explore the fling which I expect will probably last a few months or stay with your husband. But do not do both. Its weak and not fair to the good, honest and decent man who dedicated 10 years to you. That's a little more substantial connection then 2 conversations.

 

Amen. Preach on brother. Does the OP bother to mention any caring, loving, considerate things paunchy boyfriend did for her this past week? Not in detail. They purchased real estate together. Wow, this guy sounds like a real loser.

 

But the other guy...he's in a band?! Far out! Super rad! Seems like a lot of guys in bands are looking to seriously connect and settle down with that special someone.

 

OP, you're certainly welcome to dump your boyfriend but don't do it for the reason that you're about to embark on the most fulfilling experience of a lifetime. I'll give it 3 months and some good sex.

 

Oh, and when your boyfriend was verbally abusive to you and left you shaking, literally, LS was here to give you advice on the healthiest course of action.

[Spectre]

Wow, ok Dork Vader. It sure sounds like you've never made a mistake in your life. Good for you.

 

Listing those reasons was not me trying to justify my behaviour. They've been issues in our relationship for years, way way before I met this guy. Ones that I/we have tried over and over to fix. He refuses to even TRY and get healthy.

 

Yes you're probably right. I felt something I couldn't ignore and I did want to see him again, but I also like to talk things out face to face. I was hoping to be straight with him and walk away feeling nothing, discovering we have little in common, that I don't like his company or that we'd be better off as friends. But the total opposite happened. I don't feel good about it but it did.

 

You didn't make any mistakes, you made choices. You did not mistakenly keep this other mans number..or mistakenly text him, and if all it takes is ONE week after meeting some new guy for you to want to leave your 10 yr. relationship? Yeah, your partner deserves way better then you. Dump him and be with the current guy you like, let us hope he has no problem getting involved with a woman who enters into emotional affairs with other men while still living with someone else.

 

Since if it isn't one thing guys love it is getting with woman who originally got with them via cheating. We just LOVE us some cheaters who have zero respect for their partners and you realize the guy you like is an utter piece of crap if he ISN'T bothered by that, right? Seems like you are in a no win situation. You definitely need to leave the guy you are with, you gave up any hope of not doing so once you met this other guy for lunch. Now though if you leave him you will essentially be stepping into a relationship with a sleazeball. So yeah, leave the guy you are with, but do not for one second think the guy who have this crush on is not an utter slimeball, because he is. Unless you just happened to never mention to him you were with someone, which..well, would also speak volumes.

 

So, let your current guy go, he deserves better. As for the new guy you like..let us hope he is super into women who have emotional affairs and meet other dudes behind their boyfriends backs. I guarantee you most guys will have little to no respect for a woman they got together with via her physically or emotionally cheating. He will use you for sex and then move on to a woman who actually shows she can respect her partners. Have fun, let us all know how things turn out with Prince Charming. He is, after all, totally in a band!

Edited September 30, 2014 by Spectre

[Elle1975]

Just ask yourself, if it wasn't for that guy, would you want to divorce? If the answer is yes, then go ahead and leave.

 

Your current husband is 48, he can still meet someone else.

 

Once you are divorced, date that guy if you want to, but I wouldn't do anything until then. It's just out of respect, but also common sense. How would the new guy trust you if you cheated on your husband now?

 

On a personal note, that's what irritates me about the ration 20/40 and the "age is just a number" bs. Age is just a number till it isn't anymore, and I feel you could have met someone more suitable then, and he should have too.

[littleplanet]

The battle lines in here are as typical as red and blue states.

(which is often enough why nothing productive ever gets done )

 

OP, a few observations:

 

Age differences sometimes matter. Did your fella think that you would always find him attractive as he got older and out of shape?

Did it matter? Did he care? Was that just a whole lot of whistling past the graveyard?

This is why many people grow old..........together.

That's a lot of tune played by an unpaid piper.

 

This isn't about cheating.

It's about leaving.

People reach crossroads all the time.

Not every crossroads invites a deal with the devil.

It's just a fork in the path.

And sometimes the direction taken is an obvious choice.

 

So kicking all that fire and brimstone to the curb, this little morality tale becomes less about morals and more about common sense.

You've been on this road awhile.

Do what you need to do with as little damage as possible.

 

Sticking around out of guilt mixed with ancient obligations is just living life inside a gothic novel.

Laws of attraction are brutal. Break them, and it's a life sentence. Bread and water and solitary. Prisoner's eyes with empty smiles inside bars.

 

But you know all this by now. I'm not really telling you anything new.

 

Talk it over with your best friend, if you have one.

Edit in the truth with the one who looks back out from the morning mirror.

 

Long ago, a mature man fashioned out his own deal, never thinking that this day of reckoning would arrive? Doesn't sound so very mature.

[mammasita]

For those of you with time, go read her history.

 

This is a situation in the "making" for the last five years.

 

 

 

WOW, OP - is there ANYTHING other than he loves you and you're afraid of being alone that's keeping you in this relationship?

[Justanaverageguy]

The battle lines in here are as typical as red and blue states.

(which is often enough why nothing productive ever gets done )

 

This isn't about cheating.

It's about leaving.

People reach crossroads all the time.

Not every crossroads invites a deal with the devil.

It's just a fork in the path.

And sometimes the direction taken is an obvious choice.

 

So kicking all that fire and brimstone to the curb, this little morality tale becomes less about morals and more about common sense.

 

If the question was just about whether she should leave her long term partner I can assure you the responses in the forum would be much more measured and constructive. Unfortunately that's not the question she asked .... it was entirely based around a new man and whether she should leave her long term partner for him. The long term partner she bought property with very recently .... which is not something a normal person does if they are unhappy and thinking of ending a relationship.

 

The OP did not fall out of love overnight .... she is simply bored, horny and met another guy she wants to screw and is looking for a way to justify that so it doesn't mess with her "good girl" image. There are hundreds of basically the exact same posts from different woman littered through out this forum. The pattern is so common it is disturbing.

 

The usual end result is much like CarieT added in this thread - the guy they leave for is a dick and the woman regrets cheating on her partner ..... just like carrie does. So what we are trying to do is make the OP realise and evaluate the real reason she suddenly "fell out of love" so hopefully she doesn't make the same stupid mistakes as so many who have gone before her - by cheating. Destroying a good mans heart and trust in women and any chance of her 10 year relationship being recoverable if she changes her mind (as many many do)

[Justletgo]

I get the feeling that this situation happens in every relationship after a few years at most.

 

A partner (i am not sure if it is usually the woman) suddenly gets attention from another attractive third person.

Then they begin to doubt the relationship because 'how can one be attracted to someone else if you are truly happy with your current partner'.

 

That is where they leave the person, the dumpee is fckd over for life. The dumper moves on and months, possibly years later the RS ends for the same reason.

 

-------------

I have felt things for other people during my first 4+year relationship. But understood that leaving for another person COULD be a great experience, but I would have to ditch the 4+ invested years. And for what, the person I'd be leaving for couldn't possibly be THAT much greater.

Also who says that feeling wouldn't happen again during the new RS?

 

Learn to cherish what you have, not what you don't have.

 

-------------------------------------------

Of course if you don't like the RS you should leave it asap if it's not fixable.

 

But don't do it primarily because 'there is another guy'. Because there will always be another guy -eventually-.

[SecretlySad]

My gosh I don’t know what to say. I certainly didn’t expect to come back this morning and find all of this.

 

Thank you to those who provided me with advice/encouragement that wasn’t condescending or nasty. I’m not proud of my feelings or behaviour, nor should I be, and I’m sure it was tough for you to hold back but thank you.

 

Yes, as another poster mentioned I have been unhappy for a long time, and perhaps meeting this guy was the push I needed, but I still stand by my feelings for him. I always said if I ever mustered up the guts to end it, I’d let myself be single for a year but instead I met this man. If anything a small part of me is disappointed it turned out this way.

 

My partner and I have nothing in common anymore. I am not sure we ever did. I was drawn to him as a hero figure and I stayed with him because I liked feeling safe and because my family loved him. Recently I’ve taken a step back and realised this isn’t what I want my life to be. You happy?

[stillafool]

 

What would you do?

 

The first thing I wouldn't have done is waste my time to meet someone just to tell them I can't see them because I have a boyfriend. I would know that this is disrespectful to my boyfriend.

 

Since you know you no longer want to be with your bf and want to be with the musician you should go straight to your bf now and tell him you want to break up because you have found someone else you want to be with. Then start packing your stuff and look for an apartment. Move out ASAP so you can start dating the guy in the band. You mentioned encouraging you, encourage you to do what exactly?

[SecretlySad]

You mentioned encouraging you, encourage you to do what exactly?

 

Nothing. Someone just said I am looking for encouragement, not advice. I didn’t want to use “advice” and have them correct me.

 

I was actually feeling quite good today. Ready to take the plunge and sure of what I want but now I don’t know. I can’t keep coming back to look at these comments. I feel like I’m going to throw up.

[Elle1975]

If you stay for financial reasons, then it's wrong of you to do so. You are taking from your husband the rest of his good years. Since you don't love him, let him go.

 

Btw since you work, you can make it on your own. I know it's scary, but you'll be fine. I have been living on my own for years, I have friends, school, work.. Anybody can do it.