Most on dating sites are unavailable?

[irc333]

...at least the free ones on POF.

 

Something I noticed plenty of are those that are on dating sites that we probably don't know what's happening on the other end. It's a haven for those who are currently in relationships that are on the rocks or "on and off" type of relationships.

 

Sue gets into an argument with Bill, he says something that hurts her feelings and she jumps online to fill a void instantly. She'll get correspondence, gets a swelled head, never meets them, and then they reconcile their relationship and she leaves online dating...at least for now.

 

I think there's alot of that going on, that it's a tool to keep their emotions in check while "on the outs" with their current sig. other.

 

What do you think?

[writergal]

I think there's plenty of men OLD who are emotionally unavailable. Heck, I went on 1st dates with two of those types recently, and both guys have no business being online to date. I'm sure there are normal, stable guys who use OLD. I mean, I HOPE there are. Otherwise, is OLD just full of emotionally unavailable people?!

[Cristo]

From what I've seen, OLD has mostly very low quality people. There are exceptions, of course, as I've known some great women from my personal life that met good men on there.

 

As a man that is stable and looking for something serious, I wouldn't use one of those sites.

[writergal]

Well I'm using OLD but I don't think I'm low quality people.

[Allumere]

From what I've seen, OLD has mostly very low quality people. There are exceptions, of course, as I've known some great women from my personal life that met good men on there.

 

As a man that is stable and looking for something serious, I wouldn't use one of those sites.

 

 

Yes there are many exceptions.

[Cristo]

Yes there are many exceptions.

 

Not that I've noticed. At least not in my age range in my area on the sites that I've used.

 

I find the quality to be MUCH better IRL and it's not even close.

Edited September 29, 2014 by Cristo

[irc333]

I think there's plenty of men OLD who are emotionally unavailable. Heck, I went on 1st dates with two of those types recently, and both guys have no business being online to date. I'm sure there are normal, stable guys who use OLD. I mean, I HOPE there are. Otherwise, is OLD just full of emotionally unavailable people?!

 

I'm starting to think though that a lot of people in general use OLD as a crutch socially or even as a support system.

[the tank]

In my region so many pretty girl seem to be on the site for months. I delete my account in june and they are still on the web site ?? I tried to talk to her this week .No answer but they went on my page .

 

Standard on old is way too high for people !

[PegNosePete]

Standard on old is way too high for people !

Either that or your profile and photos are rubbish.

[the tank]

Either that or your profile and photos are rubbish.

 

I dont talk about girls in general , but the one who are on the web site for a really long time.

[Tayken]

...at least the free ones on POF.

 

Something I noticed plenty of are those that are on dating sites that we probably don't know what's happening on the other end. It's a haven for those who are currently in relationships that are on the rocks or "on and off" type of relationships.

 

Sue gets into an argument with Bill, he says something that hurts her feelings and she jumps online to fill a void instantly. She'll get correspondence, gets a swelled head, never meets them, and then they reconcile their relationship and she leaves online dating...at least for now.

I think there's alot of that going on, that it's a tool to keep their emotions in check while "on the outs" with their current sig. other.

 

What do you think?

 

This assessment sounds about right...any woman on plenty of freaks and other, will get messages minutes after she signs up if all she has is a picture with no content.

[Natsu21]

if you're using POF, unless you're hot, you're gonna have a bad time. Period.

[insert_name]

With respect, if you don't like your time being wasted then OLD is not for you. You have to factor in that a certain (large) portion of your time will be spent chasing your tail.

 

My experience as a male is that if you even get to a first date then you have managed to overcome the odds stacked against you, never mind actually nailing down a relationship out of it. The margin for error for men is so slim as to be non-existent so that even a failed conversation can be interpreted as the girl just being a time waster.

 

OLD is such a good idea, but such a flawed medium. It's a shame, as with a lot of things in life the minority(?) ruin it for the majority.

[irc333]

I had a couple of guy friends from Meetup that use online dating. The only benefit they claim is " You get to meet people you wouldn't otherwise meet" , but with the negative does seem to outweigh that one positive.

 

With respect, if you don't like your time being wasted then OLD is not for you. You have to factor in that a certain (large) portion of your time will be spent chasing your tail.

 

My experience as a male is that if you even get to a first date then you have managed to overcome the odds stacked against you, never mind actually nailing down a relationship out of it. The margin for error for men is so slim as to be non-existent so that even a failed conversation can be interpreted as the girl just being a time waster.

 

OLD is such a good idea, but such a flawed medium. It's a shame, as with a lot of things in life the minority(?) ruin it for the majority.

[MissBee]

I think if one is going to use OLD you have to adjust your expectations and also account for the fact that yes, it is easier for people to misrepresent themselves online, whether it is lying about their looks, job or relationships status. So as you're doing the OLD thing, be cognizant of that and proceed with that in mind and ask a lot of questions and listen and look carefully at the answers...if you feel the person is sketchy or playing you, delete and ignore.

 

I'm pretty frank about asking people's relationship status and seeing and listening to their response, if there is any hesitation or they have a "story" and "its complicated" or their response to are you single/dating/married/taken is "not really" or something like that.... NEXT! I did talk to one guy online once who we spoke on the phone and then after some time he told me he had just moved from another state and "technically" still had a gf there but is looking for someone else...I told him bye.

 

Online or offline people who are full of shyt are still that way and it's up to you to pay attention and look for the clues.

[Tayken]

I think if one is going to use OLD you have to adjust your expectations and also account for the fact that yes, it is easier for people to misrepresent themselves online, whether it is lying about their looks, job or relationships status. So as you're doing the OLD thing, be cognizant of that and proceed with that in mind and ask a lot of questions and listen and look carefully at the answers...if you feel the person is sketchy or playing you, delete and ignore.

 

I'm pretty frank about asking people's relationship status and seeing and listening to their response, if there is any hesitation or they have a "story" and "its complicated" or their response to are you single/dating/married/taken is "not really" or something like that.... NEXT! I did talk to one guy online once who we spoke on the phone and then after some time he told me he had just moved from another state and "technically" still had a gf there but is looking for someone else...I told him bye.

 

Online or offline people who are full of shyt are still that way and it's up to you to pay attention and look for the clues.

 

I hear ya, and that is why I am as transparent as you can get. Once people get past my smile, they usually follow up with "you seem to know what you want, and your profile is somewhat initimdating".

 

My response to people is usually, would you prefer instead a man that is going to lie to you? I am able to sleep at night, knowing that I don't have to try and remeber which lie I told to whom and when.

[boilingpoint]

Forming a connection requires two things - being appreciative and being open minded. Both of those things can more easily fall by the wayside when the date came easy and you don't know each other.

 

You need to get past that polite phase and get real with each other pretty fast to be more successful at making the connection I think.

 

Ideally BOTH parties are willing to give it a chance and keep an open mind for long enough that you both get to know each other - but as we all know life is never that simple.

 

There's an easy come, easy go element to OLD. That's the main problem. It's all about attitude.