L.C Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I've started seeing someone and we live at opposite ends of England, I love talking to him but the thing is we don't know what to say to each other so it's awkward for both of us. So I need advice how to make this work from conversation starters to well whatever you can recommend... Thank you in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 First of all, opposite sides, or opposite ends? it makes a difference. Secondly, if you really find it hard to talk to one another - that doesn't bode well. Most relationships have a conversational factor that indicates a meeting of minds, interests and commonalities. So many people begin by recounting how they "talked for hours, we had so much in common, we sat up all night and chatted...." If you're struggling with knowing what to say - keeping this going is going to be nothing short of a Herculean task.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author L.C Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Opposite ends bare in mind we're only young and we do want to make it work!! Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 How young? (*bear* not *bare*. Unless of course, you're naked.... ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author L.C Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 18, I know you might think its a waste of time but please don't! Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 WHY do you want to make this work, exactly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author L.C Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 I have my reasons and I'm sure that they will be viewed as wrong Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Is it possible to have a "long distance" relationship if both live in England? It's the size of, what, Brewster County in west Texas? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I have my reasons and I'm sure that they will be viewed as wrong Well, unless you can elaborate, I will sadly say right now, you have little chance of this succeeding. You're very young, and frankly, a separation of this kind will not be sustainable if your conversation is stilted, limited and difficult. You are and circumstances are stacked against you, and you would be better off cutting ties, remaining friends, and meeting other people. Gorilla Theater, distance is relative, particularly if you're young, have limited transport, funds or opportunities to meet up. I realise the UK is not big, but when you're separated by any number of miles from someone you have feelings for, and the distance is an obstacle, you might as well be on the earth and moon.... Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 (edited) If she is from Tutbury and he is from Teignmouth, then geographically it is spellbindingly infinite. Dizzy now. OP, what exactly is the question? Is it possible to have a "long distance" relationship if both live in England? It's the size of, what, Brewster County in west Texas? Edited September 4, 2014 by Haydn 3 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 L.C. I think you both should board the train and meet somewhere in Northampton -- that seems to be the center of England or close to it. How did you even meet if you live on opposite ends of England? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Several hundred miles, so yes it is Is it possible to have a "long distance" relationship if both live in England? It's the size of, what, Brewster County in west Texas? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 How about Penzance to Berwick upon tweed which is 541 miles and 10 hours driving, which is further than Teignmouth to Tutbury (211 miles)?! And if we were talking UK rather than just England, Penzance to Thurso is 819 miles and 15 hour drive. My LDR was UK to Netherlands, it would take me longer to get to Scotland than it would to the Netherlands, so I would see it as long distance for sure. If she is from Tutbury and he is from Teignmouth, then geographically it is spellbindingly infinite. Dizzy now. OP, what exactly is the question? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Why don't you know what to say to each other? When people get together they usually can't stop talking as they get to know each other and share things. I've started seeing someone and we live at opposite ends of England, I love talking to him but the thing is we don't know what to say to each other so it's awkward for both of us. So I need advice how to make this work from conversation starters to well whatever you can recommend... Thank you in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 what exactly is the question? She wants us to tell her what to say to him, how to keep a conversation... This sounds more like 14 than 18, but OK. OP, you can ask him his likes and dislikes about anything (food, sports, clothes, etc.) You can talk about your interests, hobbies, school, work, family, past holidays, future holidays, friends, pets, a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. Anyway, if things do not come up spontaneously, I guess it'll be very difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
TAV Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 If it is not the great connection you have (that results in the ability to discuss just about anything) I wonder what is it that you do have? Where did you meet, was it while doing something you both enjoy? Is he goodlooking (can't eat off a pretty plate very long, is a saying we have here)? Is he the first boy that has told you you are beautiful, who gives you attention? You are not very forthcoming with details, OP. So you are 18, is he too? Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) I have been in 3+ years of LDR without having the abilities to see each other in person. Marriage is part of it. What makes our relationship work... Strong trust, complete understanding, sharing our deep feelings 100%, and kicked fear out on its bloody arse! We had to tackle fears one at a time, believe me you must share stuff you may think is long gone. It is always there waiting for a key word or action. Lastly develop a way to communicate that is all to yourselves, can be korny, intimate, or completely perplexing. LOL! Really, if someone truly understands you some of the most perplexing convo will be sorted out before the end of the day. What is perplexing yet understood... mixing passion, with madness and mayhem. Well that is how I get around to such things. Not that I do it all the time, it allows things to come out in the open, spontaneous without restriction. Oh I almost forgot... NO LIMITS WITH FREEDOMS!!!! An LDR will tie you down emotionally... STOP THAT! Allow yourself and your mate to be open in your relationship. Meaning you start putting limits, something is going to feel like someone is getting restricted. Allow for trust and understanding to make decisions to what is most important in the relationship. You'll find both of your needs will be met, by each other, even though you leave the door open to explore. Until you have each other to hold, there is no way to feel any contact. Not that you or your mate will seek out lovers. Just allowing to get out and enjoy life than waiting for your day to come. You'll find that you both will share experiences that seem day to day, in a more passionate way. Like Gawd I wish you were here... while sending a piccy of where you were. And explaining why and what you done. As for me to keep my sanity, I say a lot in my words, emails are love letters, love letters are novels. Wee txts would run up service fees if they counted each letter, as I maximize each txt to their limits. Bloody hell! You expect me to read all that on my wee phone! I'll forward to my email account and read it later at home, you blimey numpty! See, some madness helps in getting more out that just words. Enjoy the LDR, and make passion part of each day no matter how wee it may be. Don't be afraid as long as your connex is true you will see everything is shared and you end up recycling back to each other your love and understandings. Yes we talk like teenage lovers, without a care in the world, and sometimes forgetting to be proper with our age. Loosey goosey as one might be, but keeps sex toned low key, as we get involved with sneaky peeks and imagination to how we'd touch each other. Learning a lot about our kinky side without going into the raw, and knowing what will work for when our day comes. Yes, we'd take the day and many more to release all the stored up passions we have. That you both will have to learn to control. Once you get accustom to the how it affects you, managing will be easier. See what I mean about how I send messages... passion does that, I would not be this way without her at my side, and she is everyday. I hope this helps and gives some insight to what you have before you and measures to keep in place. Don't plan, just allow what happens to happen. As long as you care deeply, any wobbler can be turned into an act of passion with proper understanding. Both of you must look at other side before making issues be set in stone. If the both of you can't allow for mutual understanding then, there is something wrong. Edited September 5, 2014 by sdrawkcaB ssA 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 I went round in circles for hours around Tutbury! Bloody Derbyshire or is it Staffordshire? How about Penzance to Berwick upon tweed which is 541 miles and 10 hours driving, which is further than Teignmouth to Tutbury (211 miles)?! And if we were talking UK rather than just England, Penzance to Thurso is 819 miles and 15 hour drive. My LDR was UK to Netherlands, it would take me longer to get to Scotland than it would to the Netherlands, so I would see it as long distance for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author L.C Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 you're all wrong about thinking this was between a male and female, it's between a male and male, he's from Dartford and I'm from the North East, we talked and decided to end it and try again when we're ready but it's doubtful that that will happen any time soon. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 When you're not specific, assumptions are made. People tend to go for the greater denominator. Don't resent us for making this mistake. The responsibility is yours; if you seek clear and definitive guidance, give clear and definitive indications in your question. I believe your decision was the wisest one you could have made. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I have my reasons and I'm sure that they will be viewed as wrong Not sure anyone can help you without some explanation of this. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I have my reasons and I'm sure that they will be viewed as wrong We made assumptions, but then, so have you. If you come here for advice, don't immediately presume we'll come down on you, criticise and condemn. As you're not enormously forthcoming, (and as you seem to have come to a conclusion about the situation anyway) there's little anyone can say to actually give you the support you originally seemed to seek.... It's a shame you didn't feel confident enough in the kindness and wisdom of people here to help you more. We might have helped you come to a different decision, but sadly, it seems we'll never know now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author L.C Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) I've posted in this section before regarding what to say blah blah blah but recently we have been talking and he says he talks about me to his friends... so naturally I asked what he says and he said he tells them that "you make me safe even when your no where near"... what does this mean, what should I do? thanks in advance Edited September 29, 2014 by L.C Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 I've posted in this section before regarding what to say blah blah blah but recently we have been talking and he says he talks about me to his friends... so naturally I asked what he says and he said he tells them that "you make me safe even when your no where near"... what does this mean, what should I do? thanks in advance Well from my own feelings and since most guys are not overly deep with their words, he is telling you to not worry. Like he feels your love no matter how long he must wait to see you. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 he tells them that "you make me safe even when your no where near"... what does this mean I don't know. I would understand it as he feels loved even when you're nowhere near him physically, aka even if you're on the other side of the world. what should I do?Marry him? Link to post Share on other sites
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