when you break NC

[jc]

Okay I finally broke down yesterday after 14 days NC and called him. After that I cried all night and now today I feel completely hopeless.

 

We've been broken up for over a month now and NC for the past two weeks except for yesterday. Do I have to start all over again at the beginning because I called him?

 

That's what I feel like anyways

[westernxer]

Start over with what? Unless you agreed to a set amount of time without communication of any sort, I don't see a problem with breaking the silence. It differs for everyone.

 

Besides, you miss him. Nothing wrong with letting him know that if you really feel it, unless he wanted nothing to do with you. You may want to consider moving on, so that you can heal properly. It's hard, but you have to do it.

[moon]

Yes, I think you start all over again. That's the way you almost have to look at it. I wouldn't call anymore. If he calls deal with that. But when you call, yes I think it feels like you have to go right back to square one. The distance is helpful in dealing with break ups. Not knowing where they are or what they are doing is helpful. So resist the urge to call or communicate. If you are looking at NC as a sort of guideline, mark yourself back at day one. That's what I had to do when I contacted my ex a few months ago. It's like you almost have to go back and feel all that old hurt again until you get your distance and mental wall back up. That's where NC helps. It gives you space and disassociation, not only for yourself, but for them as well.