Girlfriend on dating site

[jack20]

Yeah, she's not done. Not yet anyway. You are going to hear from her again.

 

I don't know, I blocked her on Facebook and WhatsApp. She asked if I did since she was trying to access me this morning before calling me. I don't know why I feel bad, I shouldn't and just have to keep smacking myself in the head. Sucks to be single and alone.

[Spectre]

First off, her behavior while you were broken up tells you all you need to know about her. She claims she was still in love with you, wants to be with you forever, etc. Yet..she is going out with dudes and sleeping with them on the first date, then hooking up with guys from facebook too? Look, even if you weren't together..what does that say about her? This is a person who can be "in love" with someone and all that still go out and sleep with strangers to "feel better" about herself. But oh right, she totally wants you to be the mother of her children though! Yeah, right, and I also have 3 magic beans that can take you to a land filled with giants.

 

Even ignoring the whole sleeping around while broken up..look at the selfishness. She seriously said to you "you aren't at least going to give me hope?" ? That..is messed up. She also essentially says she was out looking for backup guys in case you left her. She then says BS like how she "knew" you were the guy who emailed her and didn't really think you were a stranger. Yeah, right, she didn't know it was you..you realize that I hope. Or heck, if she did truly realize it was you the fact that she kept up the charade shows she doesn't care. I mean, if you were *truly* sorry and trying to show you changed..well, why the heck would you knowingly seed even more doubt?

 

You guys breaking up the first time was a blessing in disguise. Her behavior during the break up and her subsequent behavior after you began talking again show that this girl is not someone you want a serious relationship with.

[BetrayedH]

Sucks to be single and alone.

 

It could be worse, like being in a committed relationship with a serial cheater.

[jack20]

First off, her behavior while you were broken up tells you all you need to know about her. She claims she was still in love with you, wants to be with you forever, etc. Yet..she is going out with dudes and sleeping with them on the first date, then hooking up with guys from facebook too? Look, even if you weren't together..what does that say about her? This is a person who can be "in love" with someone and all that still go out and sleep with strangers to "feel better" about herself. But oh right, she totally wants you to be the mother of her children though! Yeah, right, and I also have 3 magic beans that can take you to a land filled with giants.

 

Even ignoring the whole sleeping around while broken up..look at the selfishness. She seriously said to you "you aren't at least going to give me hope?" ? That..is messed up. She also essentially says she was out looking for backup guys in case you left her. She then says BS like how she "knew" you were the guy who emailed her and didn't really think you were a stranger. Yeah, right, she didn't know it was you..you realize that I hope. Or heck, if she did truly realize it was you the fact that she kept up the charade shows she doesn't care. I mean, if you were *truly* sorry and trying to show you changed..well, why the heck would you knowingly seed even more doubt?

 

You guys breaking up the first time was a blessing in disguise. Her behavior during the break up and her subsequent behavior after you began talking again show that this girl is not someone you want a serious relationship with.

Very valid points. I did say to her that I can't understand how she could go and sleep with someone so fast because she was upset at me leaving her. That it was not normal behavior. She said, "What did you expect me to do? You dumped me and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but you imposed that on me without giving us a chance in better weather." I said that she could just keep busy, learn a skill, get counseling, anything but just jumping into bed isn't the thing you do. I took time away from dating to heal. She said that that may be how I deal with things but she does things differently and that everyone is different.

 

No, she didn't know it was me but took a guess when I confronted her about the site. I could have just played dumb and asked who it was and then say that it must be some guy she messaged but then she would just say she never messaged "him".

[jack20]

It could be worse, like being in a committed relationship with a serial cheater.

 

My life would be filled with doubt. I would always wonder what she was doing. She said she never cheated on me when we were together and would never cheat on me as a couple. She's good at manipulation. She can talk you into believing you aren't thinking right and that what she's saying is the right thing and you should follow her idea. I won't fall for her lies again.

[lolablue17]

She's good at manipulation. She can talk you into believing you aren't thinking right and that what she's saying is the right thing and you should follow her idea. I won't fall for her lies again.

 

You know? I believe her. I belive she wants only you. I belive she is ready to cut all contacts with other guys. I believe that she knows she made mistakes and she's trying to fix them. I also belive that she is has no intention to cheat.

 

BUT!!

 

I also belive her nature. And she has proved that she has a constant need to feel wanted. so, along the way you will have crisis. Her nature will make her looking for male attention because "we are in a crisis and you don't make me feel desired, so it's your fault i contact other man".

 

And of course the fastest way to feel desired is to screw those guys. So again "it's your fault".

 

There were only 2 options for her to do!

1. to stay away from you.

2. to be back together, and after it's announced she should have cut immediately all kind of contact with any guy. she should have closed immediately her dating site account instead of "waiting for you to ask her to do so".

 

This is her tragedy - She was afraid that you will dump her again, and by her behaviour drove you to dump her again. She brought it on herself.

 

She should understand - when you make backup plans, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only way to get a chance for true love - is to love first! without any insurance. otherwise it's more like a bargain, not love.

Edited October 2, 2014 by lolablue17

[Spectre]

Very valid points. I did say to her that I can't understand how she could go and sleep with someone so fast because she was upset at me leaving her. That it was not normal behavior. She said, "What did you expect me to do? You dumped me and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but you imposed that on me without giving us a chance in better weather." I said that she could just keep busy, learn a skill, get counseling, anything but just jumping into bed isn't the thing you do. I took time away from dating to heal. She said that that may be how I deal with things but she does things differently and that everyone is different.

 

This girl has a lot of nerve. "What did you expect me to do?" Well damn, I would of said I don't expect anything..but I'd also say that you shouldn't feed me bullsh*t like you are all in love with me.

 

You imposed WHAT on her, the need to sleep around with strangers? Yeah, she pulled the whole "everyone heals differently" thing. That is 100% true, but if she heals from pain via sex with strangers she is NOT relationship material.

 

You know? I believe her. I belive she wants only you. I belive she is ready to cut all contacts with other guys. I believe that she knows she made mistakes and she's trying to fix them. I also belive that she is has no intention to cheat.

 

I would say it would be silly to believe all this. If she wanted "only him" then she wouldn't of been meeting up with strangers off the internet and screwing them on the first date. Is that cheating? Nope, is it behavior indicative of "I only want you!" ? Nope, not at all. I don't care if her excuse was she was sad and all that, it doesn't change what her behavior indicates.

 

You also say you believe she is ready to cut ties with other guys..but um..why? May I honestly ask why? What did the OP say about her to make you believe that? She already lies and keeps back up guys, I don't see how you get "she seems ready to be with you!" from that. You also say you believe she is ready to fix her mistakes, but again: read the topic. Someone who is ready to fix mistakes does not lie, and that is what she did. She lied about sleeping around and only confessed because she slipped up.

 

In conclusion? No, none of that strikes me as the behavior of a woman who truly loves this guy and wants to be with only him. It strikes me as the behavior of a selfish woman who needs to bang strangers to feel good about herself and has no qualms lying about it to a guy she "wants to be the mother of her children" about it. It strikes me as the behavior of a cliche person who feels they deserve to have their cake and eat it too. Well, this woman has had WAY WAY too much cake.

Edited October 2, 2014 by Spectre

[JS84]

Just stop talking to her.

[jack20]

You know? I believe her. I believe she wants only you. I believe she is ready to cut all contacts with other guys. I believe that she knows she made mistakes and she's trying to fix them. I also believe that she is has no intention to cheat.

 

BUT!!

 

I also belive her nature. And she has proved that she has a constant need to feel wanted. so, along the way you will have crisis. Her nature will make her looking for male attention because "we are in a crisis and you don't make me feel desired, so it's your fault i contact other man".

 

And of course the fastest way to feel desired is to screw those guys. So again "it's your fault".

 

There were only 2 options for her to do!

1. to stay away from you.

2. to be back together, and after it's announced she should have cut immediately all kind of contact with any guy. she should have closed immediately her dating site account instead of "waiting for you to ask her to do so".

 

This is her tragedy - She was afraid that you will dump her again, and by her behaviour drove you to dump her again. She brought it on herself.

 

She should understand - when you make backup plans, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only way to get a chance for true love - is to love first! without any insurance. otherwise it's more like a bargain, not love.

 

I don't feel she cheated on me when we were together previously but I feel that that has changed or that I really didn't know her as I thought I did. I feel that she would cut ties to all guys IF she's fully here and not living elsewhere and visiting here. She's not one that can handle relationships at a distance as she constantly needs attention and validation of love. If I didn't say I loved her several times a day, she questioned if I did. If I talk to her in the morning, tell her I love her, and then would talk to her at night (as we had to talk every morning and every night) and tell her I love her but not send her texts during the day saying sweet things or jokes or whatever, she feels that I didn't love her enough to think about her during the day. I would tell her that's not the case as I work all day, I get meetings, I have projects that are in rushes to be completed so it's unrealistic. My previous girlfriend new I loved her and we NEVER texted during the day and she rarely cared to text at all. We lived together and she saw me in the morning and in the evening. Even when I lived with this girlfriend, she wanted texts during the day or would constantly call me to help her "fix" one of her computer issues and then call me Mr. Maytag.

 

So yeah, I do feel that if there was a crisis down the road of us being and living together, I would be "the cause of her infidelities" because a simple thing like not texting during the day became a big issue when we were together and was brought up in one of our arguments that I didn't care about her enough. What would happen if it's a bigger issue??

[jack20]

This girl has a lot of nerve. "What did you expect me to do?" Well damn, I would of said I don't expect anything..but I'd also say that you shouldn't feed me bullsh*t like you are all in love with me.

 

You imposed WHAT on her, the need to sleep around with strangers? Yeah, she pulled the whole "everyone heals differently" thing. That is 100% true, but if she heals from pain via sex with strangers she is NOT relationship material.

 

 

 

I would say it would be silly to believe all this. If she wanted "only him" then she wouldn't of been meeting up with strangers off the internet and screwing them on the first date. Is that cheating? Nope, is it behavior indicative of "I only want you!" ? Nope, not at all. I don't care if her excuse was she was sad and all that, it doesn't change what her behavior indicates.

 

You also say you believe she is ready to cut ties with other guys..but um..why? May I honestly ask why? What did the OP say about her to make you believe that? She already lies and keeps back up guys, I don't see how you get "she seems ready to be with you!" from that. You also say you believe she is ready to fix her mistakes, but again: read the topic. Someone who is ready to fix mistakes does not lie, and that is what she did. She lied about sleeping around and only confessed because she slipped up.

 

In conclusion? No, none of that strikes me as the behavior of a woman who truly loves this guy and wants to be with only him. It strikes me as the behavior of a selfish woman who needs to bang strangers to feel good about herself and has no qualms lying about it to a guy she "wants to be the mother of her children" about it. It strikes me as the behavior of a cliche person who feels they deserve to have their cake and eat it too. Well, this woman has had WAY WAY too much cake.

 

When she said I imposed this on her she was saying I imposed the breakup on her and she didn't want it. She wanted us to work things through but I "gave up" on us. You're right though, I was thinking that when she told me that she needed to have sex and with more than one guy to feel wanted, desired, beautiful. That was very disturbing. I could have had sex with 3 different women during our breakup since after a month and a half post breakup I pushed myself out the door to go to social events mainly to just make friends but not to date. I was hit on my one girl at one event but I just wasn't ready as my mind was mentally comparing (the good times), then another at another event said that her apartment complex has parties and many people to get to know. I said it would be good to meet people and she took my number then called me to ask me to check out a movie as friends, so I went. Then leaving to say goodbye she hugged me and was trying to get closer so I let go and told her to have a good night and we never talked again...she was a little pissed. Then another gathering, someone else hit on me and we just talked and I left and said goodnight. She said she looks forward to seeing me at another event. I never saw her again. I wasn't ready and kept thinking and feeling guilty of the relationship I ended. Then a few weeks later my ex contacted me to help her with something and started saying she missed me and that started our talking. She even told her mom we were back together and her mom sent me a voice text that she's happy we are speaking again. Telling her father she's moving here to be with me but will visit me first while she's finishing things up there like modifying her business so she can move here and be with me. Everyone knew she was coming to see me and now I'm sure she's embarrassed that it's not going to happen...a second time...because she couldn't just get off the damn dating sites and who knows if she was on Tinder or talking to guys on Facebook? All the other problems I would have tried working with her on that like the insecurities, trust issues, etc. and really really try to make her know that I loved her. When I went to Vegas for a few days with my buddy, she thought I was screwing around even though I talked to her when I was there but she wanted me to talk to her more. I was on vacation and didn't want to just ignore my friend because I'm locked in my hotel room talking to my girlfriend? I was there for 4 days and she's still in Canada. She would just have to trust me. I could cheat in my city if I was a cheater? Vegas isn't going to make me a cheater. Not to mention, early this year she was going to Vegas with her business coach to work on some business deals with a company there and another in California. I came to my town to visit my friends and family and she came here with me but then headed to Vegas (an hour flight away) and California the following week. I trusted her not to do anything over there with her older business coach but I would never receive the same in return and he was of the opposite sex? How would she handle me going somewhere with a woman? She's claims to have been cheated on in past relationships and has trust issues. I've been cheated on in the past by two women but I don't sit and distrust unless they give you a reason not to. You'll drive yourself crazy!

 

She did want her cake by having me and eating it too by having more guys on the dating site. She already had me and was saying why would she ruin things with me when she just got me back but unfortunately, she did!

[jack20]

Just stop talking to her.

 

I did and I blocked her. She called me the very morning after the breakup (yesterday) but we haven't talked since. Regardless, she's still in Canada so it would still be a long distance thing and I would never know what she's doing long distance and not to mention, she's 3 hours ahead so 3 hours to play with to do whatever while it's still early over here.

[Redhead14]

so I decided that we should call it quits. She would break NC.

 

She didn't take the time to process the break up. She opted for the old "the way to get over one man is to get under another". That is not a healthy way to deal with it #1 and her letting you know that is manipulative.

 

She is keeping you on a string because none of the new people are working out for her. She may come back to you because there is some comfort there and then pull away again after she's "recharged".

 

No contact is no contact PERIOD. Do not respond in any way from now on.

[jack20]

No, she didn't go about the breakup in a healthy way and jumped to focusing on other men to replace me. I took time and didn't want to bring baggage into any new relationship but she claims I drove her to grabbing the next guy she could because of how I hurt her. She probably wanted validation that I was done and said goodbye so she can now get screwed again immediately because I left her. Of course, as an attractive woman she just has to put it out there and she gets a bunch of fish hooked on the line.

[Spectre]

Even worse that this girl has no empathy. I was cheated on in the past..before it happened I never considered myself as someone who would ever cheat, but after it happened to me? It was sort of like getting a cheating vaccine. I just know it won't ever come close to happening now, ever. I have that pain to draw on, that experience, I could never do it to someone else.

 

Your girl was cheated on in the past(so she says) and what does she learn from it? Nothing, she doesn't outright cheat on you, but she acts shady, sleeps around, lies about it, etc. All in all..you would think/hope someone who knows how this feels might be more understanding.

[jack20]

Even worse that this girl has no empathy. I was cheated on in the past..before it happened I never considered myself as someone who would ever cheat, but after it happened to me? It was sort of like getting a cheating vaccine. I just know it won't ever come close to happening now, ever. I have that pain to draw on, that experience, I could never do it to someone else.

 

Your girl was cheated on in the past(so she says) and what does she learn from it? Nothing, she doesn't outright cheat on you, but she acts shady, sleeps around, lies about it, etc. All in all..you would think/hope someone who knows how this feels might be more understanding.

So you too were cheated on? I guess it happens to many of us at one time or another depending on the partner we choose. She was cheated on by her exes and 4 out of 5 of them went back to their ex-girlfriends except one didn't because she was nuts (she says). You know, come to think of it. She did say that one left in the middle of the night. Another was nice to her and gave her her lunch in the morning and when she came home, the locks were changed. Whenever I would get out of bed, she would reach over to touch me as she had a fear I wasn't coming back? I was naked and it was the middle of winter and I'm going to run out at 3 am?

 

You would think she would be more understanding and not want to bring that pain to another. She was apologetic on the phone yesterday morning and saying she was sooo sorry and she'll do anything it takes to make it up to me.

[lolablue17]

One thing I have to add...

 

After you you agreed to be back together again - her behaviour was wrong and dishonest. But there's nothing wrong with her behaviour earlier after you broke up with her.

 

It was YOU dumping her, and by that you lost every right to judge her for anything. You may not like it but it's really none of your business.

 

I think her visiting this dating site is wrong. But it's not a huge crime. It's a minor thing. The real problem is that by her choices she has exposed a major flaw in her nature, which is why you refuse to take her back.

[jack20]

One thing I have to add...

 

After you you agreed to be back together again - her behaviour was wrong and dishonest. But there's nothing wrong with her behaviour earlier after you broke up with her.

 

It was YOU dumping her, and by that you lost every right to judge her for anything. You may not like it but it's really none of your business.

 

I think her visiting this dating site is wrong. But it's not a huge crime. It's a minor thing. The real problem is that by her choices she has exposed a major flaw in her nature, which is why you refuse to take her back.

 

Yes, I know I lost a right to what she did after I dumped her although it's still an unhealthy way to go about it. I let that stuff go because we weren't together. Visiting the dating site was wrong but the major crime of it was she was sending messages to guys trying to sell herself and writing several paragraphs about her business, studies she's done, she owns property in Canada and has dual citizenship so she can be in the states, no problem and is planning on moving etc. That is what I have the problem with. She already had me but was still emailing others and I forgot to mention, there was one recent one that was local although he hadn't been on there in a couple weeks but she messaged him even though he didn't really have anything in his profile but "I'll tell you later" in regards to if he had kids, divorced, job title etc. I didn't even think about that when she called me and said they were all far away, how would she meet them anyway (although why write them in detail of your life plans if you never care to meet them). If he had written her back and she thought he was hot and she is still there for 2 more weeks what do you think would happen??

[Spectre]

After you you agreed to be back together again - her behaviour was wrong and dishonest. But there's nothing wrong with her behaviour earlier after you broke up with her.

 

It was YOU dumping her, and by that you lost every right to judge her for anything.

 

This is utter nonsense. This girl was telling him she wanted him to be the FATHER of her kids, and yet is sleeping around with strangers not long after you break up? Sorry, its not cheating, but let us not pretend it's not indicative of her overall feelings towards this person.

 

You may not like it but it's really none of your business.

 

No, it is surely his business if a woman is going to claim she is in love with him and wants to have his babies, yet keeps from him she banged various strangers during the short period they took a break. So please don't act like it isn't his business, is it outright cheating? No, but is it something he needs to be aware of? Yes. You don't go f*ck random guys off the internet while still in love with a guy you want to father your children, and if you do? There is a huge problem. So no, she doesn't get the play the "we were on a break it's none of your business" card. Maybe if a vast amount of time had passed and she wasn't spouting nonsense like "I want to be with you forever and want you to father my kids" it would be different. Please don't sit there and pretend like this behavior doesn't indicate anything, regardless of whether or not they were together.

 

I think her visiting this dating site is wrong. But it's not a huge crime. It's a minor thing. The real problem is that by her choices she has exposed a major flaw in her nature, which is why you refuse to take her back.

 

Again, nope: visiting a dating site while telling a guy you are in love with him and want to have his babies? Yeah, that is no small thing. This girl was fishing around for backups and you say it is a minor thing? Wow.

 

This girl didn't cheat, but her behavior while broken up and after they tried working on things shows she does *not* love this guy.

Edited October 3, 2014 by Spectre

[lolablue17]

This girl didn't cheat, but her behavior while broken up and after they tried working on things shows she does *not* love this guy.

 

Maybe you're right, and of course her behaviour generally indicates her true character. He has all the rights to not taking her back because of it.

 

All i meant about the rapid sex with the new guys, is that he can't make any complaint about her when he chose to dump her.

[Spectre]

Maybe you're right, and of course her behaviour generally indicates her true character. He has all the rights to not taking her back because of it.

 

All i meant about the rapid sex with the new guys, is that he can't make any complaint about her when he chose to dump her.

 

Well, yes I don't think he can complain and say she betrayed him. However, I do think that doesn't prevent him from recognizing what her behavior signifies in regards to her feelings towards him. Also consider why her being on a dating site could sting so much: we know her modus operandi now..when something ends she jumps into bed with other guys. Which means in all likelihood she might not of even been looking for a back up boyfriend, but rather just already choosing the guys she was going to have sex with in order to get over the relationship if it ever went south. I again want to point out that on it's own that might already be bad, but she was on a dating site while saying she wanted to marry him and stuff.

 

I'd also be curious as to the specifics of why the relationship ended. The initial post said he moved and she was going to follow, but things got rocky and he ended it. I'd be curious as to what specifically provoked the actual ending of it..there is usually always something that happens to set things like this off.

Edited October 4, 2014 by Spectre

[jack20]

I don't remember saying she betrayed me when we were broken up? Banging to feel better doesn't bode well for having that person as a life partner but was looking past it since we weren't together. However yes, her being on a dating site while saying she wants to spend her life with me was unbelievable and heart breaking considering we were moving forward to work on our relationship for the better. What were the specifics? I posted a looooong thing on some other board months back when I was unsure of ending it. Mind you, reading that would probably make you question why I would consider getting back with her in the first place as she was starting to exhibit some of the things that made me end it but I thought it may have been different if she wanted to try again and I'm in my home environment. I'll see if I can figure out which website it was on?

[Spectre]

Well yeah I don't think you can call what she did a betrayal, but you can certainly say "your actions while we were broken up surely contradict you claiming to be in love with me". If you have strong feelings for someone to the point you want them to father your children and yet you are also at the same time going to meet strangers off the internet to screw them..well, that sends up all kinds of crazy contradictions. Plus yeah..she was setting up her post relationship f*cks before you guys even broke up.

 

Has she tried to contact you anymore? I know you said you blocked her, but I am going to say something strange: I think that is a bad idea. Why? Well, think about it. In some ways..it makes it seem like you aren't sure if you could reject this girl and the only way to be sure is to block her? I am not saying that is true, but it might come off like that. I would say do not block her, and whenever she talks to you just be sure to remind her what she did and why it means you won't ever be getting back together. I think sooner or later she will get the message, plus you not feeling she is worth blocking also shows her you are ready to move on. Hell, you can even be a bit of a dick to her about it. That will help it sink in for her.

 

Of course if you feel she should stay blocked that is your call, but I'd be trying to send her a message of "I care so little about you now that I don't need to block you to make sure we don't get back together".

Edited October 4, 2014 by Spectre

[jack20]

That's true Spectre and setting up her next lays before we broke up was very contradictory to her words. Actions speak louder than words.

 

No, she hasn't tried contacting me. Okay, I removed the blocks on Facebook and WhatApp. When I went into WhatsApp 2 nights ago to message my buddy in Toronto, the last screen that I was at was her screen and it showed she was online. She had stated she never uses WhatsApp except to message me and that I was the only one she messaged on there even though I saw the timestamp show she dropped into the app a couple times a day when we were still talking and I hadn't messaged her? She said she just looked in to see if I messaged her but she would get a notification that I did but just brushed it off as maybe she wanted to read something I wrote so I didn't think anything of it. She knows I message 3 of my guy friends, all in Toronto. I guess she's already got her new guy lined up or just reconnected with him on a more steady basis? Whatever.

 

Anyway, she hasn't called me or anything. Not sure if she's waiting or if she realizes that since I blocked her and what she did was incredibly wrong based on the fact that I saw the messages, that there is no hope for reconciliation. We are no longer friends on Facebook because once you block someone, they are removed from friends.

[Spectre]

I will be curious if she tries to contact you, since it hasn't been that long since you stopped talking and she supposedly wants you to father her children.

 

I also have to ask..could you give a short summary of why you dumped her? Instead of going digging for a long post. What was the jist of it? I only ask because you say I'd be wondering why you stayed with her and she started to exhibit some of the signs of behavior she would later show. So does that mean she cheated on you or otherwise acted inappropriately with other guys? I'd also be curious about..I know when a relationship ends it can be for more then one reason, but there is always the straw that breaks the camels back so to speak, there is usually a single event that really makes everything click in terms of "I need to get out of this relationship". So what was the final straw for you?

 

Here is why I ask: in regards to her sleeping around while broken up I have seen people saying "well, YOU are the one who dumped her" but the thing is..if you dumped her because she was acting shady in regards to you and other guys..and then once you dump her for acting that way she goes and sleeps around? Well, I would kind of change my views on whether or not she was betraying you. If you dumped her because of her behavior and she then went and acted even worse? I don't know, I think it shows she more or less *would* of betrayed you sooner or later then. If she was in love with you..she didn't seem too concerned about proving that to you, at least not until she had slept around.

 

Hell, I just had a crazy thought. What if she acted in a way that would make you dump her..on purpose? So that she could then go sleep around..and once she got that out of her system she could go back to you without technically having betrayed you. The only reason I even bring up this possibility is because it is obvious this girl plans ahead for what she does..so maybe she just had the urge to sleep with some other men and wanted to be able to get it out of her system without you being able to say she cheated. It would be especially easy to push you into dumping her once you had moved away and she had yet to follow.

Edited October 5, 2014 by Spectre

[Justanaverageguy]

Hell, I just had a crazy thought. What if she acted in a way that would make you dump her..on purpose? So that she could then go sleep around..and once she got that out of her system she could go back to you without technically having betrayed you.

 

Personally I think you are all way overthinking the sleeping around while broken up thing. It's pretty common - the rebound - being dumped or just breaking up is a pretty big emotional roller coaster. A lot of people try and cope by immidiately dating and maybe having a few one night stands. It's an attempt to try and move on quickly ... mask the pain of the breakup with something new. You dumped her so you can't really call her on this. Just because you coped in a different way. The way people behave after a breakup is often Very different to how they would normally behave. I went on tinder after my breakup ... not normally something I would do .... you would be suprised how many of the people on there are recent break ups looking for something fun and less serious to try and help move past a breakup.

 

You can't judge her for how she coped after you dumped her .... you can judge her for how she acted when you got back together.