needing to vent!

[jennie]

i'm so very frustrated! yesterday (sat) my boyfriend was being such a jerk that i had literally made up my mind to leave him just as soon as i could get enough money together to get out of here!

 

then later that evening he was once again his sweet, attentative, loving self.

 

today (sun) he has been okay again, but as we were driving back from church he turned jerky again and got on me about some job fair at this bank we went past.

 

i sat and mentally planned my leaving him.....then he goes on like nothing happened, he starts talking about this area we should look to buy "our" house in.

 

he talked about going to pikes peak this summer, and phoenix next month for the rockies training games.

 

i felt like totaly crap, sitting there and thinking about how to leave him while he is going on about our future together, totally unaware of what was going on in my head.

 

now i feel so frickin guilty! this is just getting to be too much. my daughter wants to go with me one day then the next day she changes her mind. i don't want to leave my little adorable grandson behind, my life would be so empty without him!

 

this really sucks! i just wish he would stay nice and not turn into such a jerk from one minute to the next.

 

i wish i had someone i could really talk to about this, i wish he was him, i've told him before to do something about it.

 

maybe one more time, if i tell him i'm leaving if he don't do something about his attitude, moods, irriability, criticism, etc.

 

he needs a good kick in the axx to realize that he is not so damm perfect cause he is so intolerant of people that make mistakes and don't do things his way.

 

i just wish he would always be a jerk then i could just leave and not miss him, but since and because there is so much to miss about him (believe it or not) like he has this special time with the baby (4 months) every evening, and he calls him his little buddy.

 

i know he loves that little boy, and our life together as he tells me so often that he loves me so much, that i'm the best thing in his life, that i'm beautiful, etc.

 

he says all these sweet things to me then they are swept away by his being a jerk in the next sentence!

 

ugh! that is all i have to say! i wish there was an easier way to do this! i even prayed in church today for an answer from God to help me do what is right for him, myself and my daughter and grandson......

 

thanks for letting me vent, any replies are welcome, just don't chew off my head please!

 

jennie.... :0

[Dragonflys]

I'm addicted to roller coasters at theme parks.

 

You are addicted to roller coasters of the emotional variety.

 

I prefer the ones at theme parks. They are cheaper, safer, and it's all over before you feel sick.

[jennie]

awesome ananology oliver! i never thought of it that way! thanx!.........................jennie

I'm addicted to roller coasters at theme parks. You are addicted to roller coasters of the emotional variety. I prefer the ones at theme parks. They are cheaper, safer, and it's all over before you feel sick.

[Fishbulb]

i'm so very frustrated! yesterday (sat) my

boyfriend was being such a jerk that i had literally made up my mind to leave him just as soon as i could get enough money together to get out of here! then later that evening he was once again his sweet, attentative, loving self. today (sun) he has been okay again, but as we were driving back from church he turned jerky again and got on me about some job fair at this bank we went past. i sat and mentally planned my leaving him.....then he goes on like nothing happened, he starts talking about this area we should look to buy "our" house in. he talked about going to pikes peak this summer, and phoenix next month for the rockies training games. i felt like totaly crap, sitting there and thinking about how to leave him while he is going on about our future together, totally unaware of what was going on in my head. now i feel so frickin guilty! this is just getting to be too much. my daughter wants to go with me one day then the next day she changes her mind. i don't want to leave my little adorable grandson behind, my life would be so empty without him! this really sucks! i just wish he would stay nice and not turn into such a jerk from one minute to the next. i wish i had someone i could really talk to about this, i wish he was him, i've told him before to do something about it. maybe one more time, if i tell him i'm leaving if he don't do something about his attitude, moods, irriability, criticism, etc. he needs a good kick in the axx to realize that he is not so damm perfect cause he is so intolerant of people that make mistakes and don't do things his way. i just wish he would always be a jerk then i could just leave and not miss him, but since and because there is so much to miss about him (believe it or not) like he has this special time with the baby (4 months) every evening, and he calls him his little buddy. i know he loves that little boy, and our life together as he tells me so often that he loves me so much, that i'm the best thing in his life, that i'm beautiful, etc. he says all these sweet things to me then they are swept away by his being a jerk in the next sentence! ugh! that is all i have to say! i wish there was an easier way to do this! i even prayed in church today for an answer from God to help me do what is right for him, myself and my daughter and grandson...... thanks for letting me vent, any replies are welcome, just don't chew off my head please! jennie.... :0

 

Jennie: are you the Jennie in Arvada?Let me know. Fishbulb

[sparkle]

Hi Jennie,

 

Break up with him.

 

Relationships are meant for two people to be happy with each other. And the good thing about them is that YOU can end them whenever you choose to. No one is forcing you to be with this guy.

 

You have every right to be happy and to be in a happy relationship. But more importantly, YOU have the responsibility of getting what you need. And when you're not satisfied with something, it is your responsibility to change it or get out of the situation.

 

So some questions for you...if this guy isn't treating you the way you want to be treated (ALL of the time), why are you with him? Why do you continue to put yourself in a situation where you're not happy?

 

Also, relationships aren't about trying to change the other person. You should never think that way.

 

You said, "this really sucks! i just wish he would stay nice and not turn into such a jerk from one minute to the next"

 

and you said "maybe one more time, if i tell him i'm leaving if he don't do something about his attitude, moods, irriability, criticism, etc".

 

WHY? WHY? WHY?

 

I don't blame him one bit for his mood swings or acting like a jerk. That's the way he is!

 

You can't change him.

 

You have no right to ask him to change.

 

You either accept him like that or you GET OUT.

 

If you don't like a guy being nice one minute and then a jerk the next, you don't ask him to change. You just move on with your life and find someone else that doesn't act that way. But you don't stick around hoping that he'll change.

 

It's not his fault that his behavior and irritability is making you upset. The blame is on you for continuing to stay with him if you're not happy.

[jennie]

yes that is me!

Jennie: are you the Jennie in Arvada?Let me know. Fishbulb

[Fishbulb]

yes that is me!

What happened to you, Jennie? If you really want someone to talk to, to lean on, if you really want to make friends, when they extend themselves to you, as I did, write back with something more than "yes it is". I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it.