MIAho Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 (edited) For the past few years, my older brother and I have lived with my younger brother with whom we have a difficult relationship with. After a series of separate disagreements back when we were in high school, he stopped speaking to us. Even though we all live together, he hasn't spoken to either of us for nearly 15 years and has shown no indication of wanting to reconcile with either of us. Living with him is not easy. He is very selfish, cheap and inconsiderate, with us and even other family members. He expects my older brother and I to do all of the household chores and he will not even clean up after himself or do his own dishes. He will not allow either of us to use his TV or anything else he owns but will invite his friends over and allow them to, even after they break them. My mother will send us food to share but he will always hide it in the refrigerator and keep it for himself. He Will not share groceries that he buys but will always use the groceries that either my brother or I buy. He will not turn on the air conditioner or heat regardless of the temperature. Sometimes he does not even allow you to open a window. He's also a big hoarder and saves everything from old clothes to magazines and certain rooms in the house have become uninhabitable. Over the past few years, he has been in a relationship with a woman he met on a vacation who lives in the Philippines. They communicate daily via Skype and he has gone to visit her a few times. Despite introducing her to his friends and my mother, via Facebook, he has yet to introduce her to my older brother or to me. Recently we learned that his girlfriend will be moving into the house and that the two will be getting married. Even though his girlfriend has indicated that she plans to pursue her career, it seems as if she doesn't really know what she's getting into or what my brother is really like. Since we won't be living there, this woman will in all likelihood become his maid. Do you think this relationship will last? Edited October 1, 2014 by MIAho Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Maybe, maybe not. He may be a completely different person with her. Afterall, he doesn't seem to like you and your brother so naturally he is different with the two of you. It is a good thing that you and your brother are moving out of the house. It sounds like a very uncomfortable arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 You have bigger problems then weather his marriage will last. You are getting saddled with a new roommate you didn't sign up for. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Maybe, maybe not. He may be a completely different person with her. Afterall, he doesn't seem to like you and your brother so naturally he is different with the two of you. It is a good thing that you and your brother are moving out of the house. It sounds like a very uncomfortable arrangement. Sorry, whereabouts in the OP's initial post did you get this from....? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 You live with him but haven't spoken with him in 15 years? How does that work exactly? Beyond that, he sounds like a lousy roommate. I'm going to ignore your question because I don't care whether his relationship lasts or not. The question I have is why are you and your other brother still there? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 How does he stop you opening windows without speaking to you? But anyway - I treat my gf differently to my footsie mates. You can't really form an pinion on someone else's relationship dynamic from the outside looking in! Maybe she's a force of nature and knows how to keep him in check or maybe he treats her like a maid - who can say! Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 You live with him but haven't spoken with him in 15 years? How does that work exactly? Beyond that, he sounds like a lousy roommate. I'm going to ignore your question because I don't care whether his relationship lasts or not. The question I have is why are you and your other brother still there? Maybe the guy uses sign language? Otherwise smoke signals and some flashing lights have been known to work to! I personally consider this dynamic a bit perturbing. One is a willing particpant once they are aware of what they are enduring....He's been willing for far too long. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Since we won't be living there, this woman will in all likelihood become his maid. Do you think this relationship will last? Since his new life and lifestyle will not be infringing, encroaching, violating any of your rights to peaceful enjoyment...what is your concern about whether or not his relationship will last? If his future wife accepts for herself a position/role as her husband's maid, that is up to her. If, after some time, she decides to get a divorce, that is also up to her...and will not affect/impact you in any way. Or. Are you so concerned about her future happiness and welfare that you are thinking about 'warning' her of what she is getting into? Which, go ahead and do that if you are so inclined out of genuine caring for her happiness, specifically, and the happiness of others, in general. Otherwise, stay out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
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