willduggan Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 over the last couple months ive really gone through some ups and downs. i got dumped from a 1 & 1/2 year relationship and the breakup really messed me up.. ive spent the better part of all of my energy trying to get things back together, i made a huge amount of effort and... probably just pushed her away in the process, right now shes with her ex before me and i guess ive just gotten as comfortable as i can get with it all. but enough about all that. what im trying to get at is ive tried to get back into searching for someone but... i just feel ..well nothing. like im emotionally numb, i dont know if this is just from trying so hard or what but does anyone have a similar experience after a rough breakup? ive met a couple people i think i like a lot, going so far as to chat with them a good deal online but.. does that spark come back? i just feel... like nothing ...almost like im a zombie. am i holding on to the past still? i really wanna put myself out there again but its just numbing lol. i dont know. Link to post Share on other sites
moon Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 I don't know how long ago your break up was, but I can honestly say that dating is like the last thing on my mind right now. Sure it would be nice to have somebody come into my life who would in affect replace these confused feelings with happy, new good times, but sometimes I think you have to just ride out the pain, get yourself back on track and only then can you really enjoy a new relationship. I think there are those people who hop from relationship to relationship, but I've never understood that. How do they do it? I think it's hard for me to get in a relationship and hard for me to get out (and over with it). Getting into relationships has never been my forte. It takes me a while to really make up my mind about a person. My ex was not like that at all. He could get into the relationships easy, but staying in them and making that real committment was the problem. If you analyze yourself a bit maybe you will reach the same conclusion that you don't just jump into new relationships easy and in the end it's hard for you to get over them. My ex was able to hop into a new relationship right after me and here I am still single after four plus months. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. You've obviously been hurt. Besides your ex picked an easy candidate. She reunited with somebody who was already in her past. I'd just give yourself as much time as you need to get over it. That's painful stuff. Even if these dumpers think they didn't treat you so bad....I think the most legitamate argument for pain, whether intentional or not, was that you told them you loved them and they rejected it. That's painful no matter what. Even if there wasn't any big intentions on their part to cause hurt. There is hurt, regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
Donut Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 I can relate to what you are saying willduggan and moon is very wise. Simply give yourself some more time to heal. I'm in the same situation, been six months for me and I'm not really bothered about getting a new bf, talking to new guys etc, but I feel numb, as you say. It'll happen when it happens. Usually the best time to get involved is when you don't feel you need to. Concentrate on healing and seeing other girls as friends foremost, get to know them first.....you never know what might develop. One day you will wake up and realise " I haven't thought about my ex for awhile", then you'll see you're almost there. Link to post Share on other sites
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