Some wish it was back to the "Good old days" of dating

[Woggle]

If, say, she lives in an area where most of the men did not pursue an education, it can hurt her. That would be my case. my boyfriend often gets down about the fact that I have a degree and he doesn't, and sometimes lashes out in anger because he gets insecure and feels like he's not smart enough for me. Which is ridiculous. He's very smart, and I tell him so all the time.

 

Maybe that is true but almost all the happy marriages and relationships I know involve a smart woman who you can talk on any subject with. The dumb women are usually involved in a never end cycle of drama with their men.

[Phoe]

Maybe that is true but almost all the happy marriages and relationships I know involve a smart woman who you can talk on any subject with. The dumb women are usually involved in a never end cycle of drama with their men.

 

Well sure, that's a given. Smart people will converse well and handle things well. Dumb people will not.

 

The point is that being highly intelligent can be a slight hinderance to even reaching that marriage in the first place, because some men just don't want a smart woman, or there are preconceived notions about smart women (being manly? That's news to me )

[somedude81]

That would be my case. my boyfriend often gets down about the fact that I have a degree and he doesn't, and sometimes lashes out in anger because he gets insecure and feels like he's not smart enough for me.

!

 

Uh yeah, I think intelligence in women is sexy as hell. The last girl I had a mini-crush on was my math tutor. It was so cool having her explain math concepts to me in a way that made sense and actually helped me understand how math is useful.

 

Even though my ex was only 21 she was arguably more intelligent than I was. She was a 4.0 student and was then going on to nursing school. She knew far more about the human body than I ever would.

 

Since I can't have sex with a girl 24/7, I want to somebody I can have an intelligent conversation with. It's great when my GF can challenge me.

[Woggle]

I don't doubt that men like this exist but I think in many cases a woman has an awful personality that makes a happy relationship impossible but she blames on men being afraid of strong and intelligent women.

[Phoe]

I don't doubt that men like this exist but I think in many cases a woman has an awful personality that makes a happy relationship impossible but she blames on men being afraid of strong and intelligent women.

 

I can't speak for others opinions, but I don't think I have an awful personality. A bit odd, sure, but not awful.

[BlueIris]

What it boils down to is: in today's society in America, the woman has to choose you. .

 

It’s always been true that women choose just as much or more than men did. That’s not new. What’s new is the belief or assumption that women don’t or didn’t choose.

 

As oldshirt explained, formerly, families and status were the threshold. Even in 1950, both men and women tended to exclude possible mates (consciously and/or subconsciously), by race, religion, ethnicity, socio-economic class, social hierarchy, probably other things as well- such as, “Is his/her family good enough? Is he/she a black sheep?” Parameters existed and the majority lived within them. Not that long ago, if some guy pestered a single woman or overstepped or became too familiar with her, she could recede and her father, uncles, brothers or other males took care of it in some way or another. lol

 

Women might not have their families or social restrictions doing the initial screening for them anymore, so now they’re approached by more men than before (no longer as filtered) and women have to do it themselves. I know it's horribly un-PC to say that, but it is true.

 

I actually wouldn't mind going back to the 1800s or some old fashioned time like that, where people were less distracted, more genuine, and generally just less ****ed up.

 

In the 1800s we wouldn’t even dream of dating people outside our class or community. There was no access in the first place.

 

Maybe that is true but almost all the happy marriages and relationships I know involve a smart woman who you can talk on any subject with.

 

That's true statistically. The higher the educational level the lower the divorce rate, in the US.

Edited October 3, 2014 by BlueIris

[hotpotato]

I always got a hard time for being intelligent. I got bullied quite a bit from elementary school all the way to high school. I never understood it and still don't. There's no logic behind making fun of someone because they're smart.

 

But the bit where being intelligent and pursuing education makes a woman manly? I don't even know. Lol.

 

Lol. I dont know and dont care either. If I want to pusue a career , I will, regardless of what a man thinks.

[hotpotato]

If being smart is a negative for women why do educated women marry more often and divorce less? Most of the successful relationships I see involve smart women. Can we please let go of this outdated idea that a brain hurts a woman's dating chances?

 

Its not outdated, its very much alive! Ivw dealt with it first hand. Men want to feel needed. Im willing to bet most of tyem found men equally or more intelligent. Or they found that special man who is cool with having a spouse smarter and more capable than he is.

 

Actually, what ive seen is the average women tend to get snatched up pretty quickly.

[Woggle]

Its not outdated, its very much alive! Ivw dealt with it first hand. Men want to feel needed. Im willing to bet most of tyem found men equally or more intelligent. Or they found that special man who is cool with having a spouse smarter and more capable than he is.

 

Actually, what ive seen is the average women tend to get snatched up pretty quickly.

 

Wanting to not feel disposable is not the same as not wanting a smart woman.

 

Average is a subjective term.

[hotpotato]

I can't speak for others opinions, but I don't think I have an awful personality. A bit odd, sure, but not awful.

 

Ditto!

 

ten characters

[hotpotato]

Wanting to not feel disposable is not the same as not wanting a smart woman.

 

Average is a subjective term.

 

Being with a smart and capable woman can make a lot of men feel disposable. Really for a woman she just needs to be average.

[guest569]

Intelligence goes out the window when love strikes, i dont see what it has to do with a person's ability to have successful and lasting relationships. I disagree with people suggesting that intelligent women have the sense to get out of bad relationships.

 

I also disagree that you can measure a person's intelligence based on their job or education!

[somedude81]

Intelligence goes out the window when love strikes, i dont see what it has to do with a person's ability to have successful and lasting relationships. I disagree with people suggesting that intelligent women have the sense to get out of bad relationships.

 

I also disagree that you can measure a person's intelligence based on their job or education!

 

Yeah, a woman's intelligence has absolutely no bearing if she will stick in a bad relationship or not.

 

The feelings of love and connection pretty much turn off the part of her brain that tells her to get the hell out.

[ComingInHot]

Dating like the old days...

I'm at grocery store this afternoon self checking out. All of a sudden 'butter' appears on my screen instead of salmon.

I glance around, wondering what happened and for an attendant, when a low strong laugh sounds behind me followed by a, "thanks for buying my butter ". Quick witted as I am (not*), as I turn to the voice and without a thought say, "your butter must have good taste"... (I meant that as in butter pairs well with salmon and lemon...).

Finishing my turn, I look up into tall, dark, deep set vivid Golden brown eyes. yikes*!

 

So, thank you LS, the 1st thing I Check is left hand, then his eyes again. Then mouth, still smiling. He said something that could have been suave but I have no clue what.

 

He asked what I thought about what he just said. Oh sh$t! Trying for a quick recovery, I respond, I think that sounds great.

 

Next thing I know, he has my address and phone and will be here in 10 minutes.

 

Is that 'old fashioned ' enough? !

 

Holy cr@p my 1st date!

[Phoe]

Dating like the old days...

I'm at grocery store this afternoon self checking out. All of a sudden 'butter' appears on my screen instead of salmon.

I glance around, wondering what happened and for an attendant, when a low strong laugh sounds behind me followed by a, "thanks for buying my butter ". Quick witted as I am (not*), as I turn to the voice and without a thought say, "your butter must have good taste"... (I meant that as in butter pairs well with salmon and lemon...).

Finishing my turn, I look up into tall, dark, deep set vivid Golden brown eyes. yikes*!

 

So, thank you LS, the 1st thing I Check is left hand, then his eyes again. Then mouth, still smiling. He said something that could have been suave but I have no clue what.

 

He asked what I thought about what he just said. Oh sh$t! Trying for a quick recovery, I respond, I think that sounds great.

 

Next thing I know, he has my address and phone and will be here in 10 minutes.

 

Is that 'old fashioned ' enough? !

 

Holy cr@p my 1st date!

 

Wow, that's crazy! How awesome

[CrystalCastles]

If, say, she lives in an area where most of the men did not pursue an education, it can hurt her. That would be my case. my boyfriend often gets down about the fact that I have a degree and he doesn't, and sometimes lashes out in anger because he gets insecure and feels like he's not smart enough for me. Which is ridiculous. He's very smart, and I tell him so all the time.

 

Girl, your boyfriend should be PROUD you got higher education! Not angry! Its a very impressive accomplishment to complete a degree, plenty of people don't pursue higher education studies because its tough.

 

If anything, it should challenge him to push the boundaries of his thinking.

[hotpotato]

If we spend time trying to get to know the woman, some other guy will have sex with her the first night he meets her. It happens all the time. Men definitely have to strike while the iron is hot. [/Quote]

 

If she has sex with someone else on the first night, so what? If youre dating as opposed to having casual sex you are supposed to be trying to get to know her. I dont miss guys trying to get in my pants before I have a vhance to think about it.

 

 

Many times, the women you are speaking of have a habit of reminding everyone how they don't need a man. Loudly, and often. This is what men find off-putting.

 

It doesnt take that much for a man to be turned off. For example, my ex didnt like that I was a better mechanic than him, knew more about guns than him, etc. Guys want to feel needed.

[irc333]

If she has sex with someone else on the first night, so what? If youre dating as opposed to having casual sex you are supposed to be trying to get to know her. I dont miss guys trying to get in my pants before I have a vhance to think about it.

 

 

 

 

It doesnt take that much for a man to be turned off. For example, my ex didnt like that I was a better mechanic than him, knew more about guns than him, etc. Guys want to feel needed.

 

Right, at least you were a good mechanic, but you're not narcissistic enough to go around bragging about it or getting on the Facebook soap box like I've known a female to do all the time.

 

She seems to overly posts "Independent" or "How to date or deal with an independent woman" posts a lot.

[hotpotato]

Right, at least you were a good mechanic, but you're not narcissistic enough to go around bragging about it or getting on the Facebook soap box like I've known a female to do all the time.

 

She seems to overly posts "Independent" or "How to date or deal with an independent woman" posts a lot.

 

 

 

Whats wrong with being independent though? I wouldnt be in your face about it. The dating gurus recommend that a woman gently ease a man into seeing her as strong, capable, independent, and so on.

[irc333]

Whats wrong with being independent though? I wouldnt be in your face about it. The dating gurus recommend that a woman gently ease a man into seeing her as strong, capable, independent, and so on.

 

I never said there was anything wrong about it, but there is something wrong with someone repetitively bragging about it or taking on a soap box mentality of it.

[hotpotato]

I never said there was anything wrong about it, but there is something wrong with someone repetitively bragging about it or taking on a soap box mentality of it.

 

Sounds like she needs a dating coach lol

[Tayla]

My ohh my!

Seems the persons who are interested can set their own dating scenarios.

People have varying standards. people have voices, People have obligations. In all that, Its absolutely possible to maintain what is acceptable in dating with regard. I mix the old ways with the current activities. Seems to work!

 

Dating is a test the waters time.....Its not a commitment to jump in the pool without any swimming lessons.

[Cristo]

I seriously don't think there is an overabundance of good men out there for women to pick from. Many of my single friends are single for a reason.

 

I disagree with you. There's a reason why any girl, no matter how she acts or how bad her personality is, is able to get into a relationship with ease with a decent guy, while many decent guys struggle.

 

I've seen this scenario play out more times than I can count.

[GemmaUK]

As have I. Women can do almost anything today and it's ok. It's a total double standard, but they won't admit it.

 

And those of us who look after ourselves, stay fit and in shape, dress well, have good jobs and houses can't meet decent normal sane guys!

[Woggle]

And those of us who look after ourselves, stay fit and in shape, dress well, have good jobs and houses can't meet decent normal sane guys!

 

Those are all good things but what really matters to a lot of men is how a woman treats him. In no way am I saying you are but if a woman is all those things but still treats a guy like crap what is the point.