Cristo Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Some of the men in this thread seem frustrated that they have had to enter the new millennium where women have a say in their lives an relationships and may have *gasp* some autonomy in choice and desires for their life partner, rather than getting married at 22. This is exactly it. I would prefer that a woman has absolutely no say in who she dates. No, women still appreciate chivalry, but I am not sure of your definition. Is it taking her to a movie and for a milkshake and expecting.... what exactly? Personally, I think if a man pays for a woman, she owes him sex. Yes, this is a stereotype and even most men would say that they don't feel this way. I, personally, do and am not ashamed of it. Link to post Share on other sites
ufo8mycat Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Is there a threshold? If he buys coffee does she owe him sex? Or does it have to be the full three course with wine? Nice way to reduce men and women down to a purely transactional basis. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Personally, I think if a man pays for a woman, she owes him sex. Yes, this is a stereotype and even most men would say that they don't feel this way. I, personally, do and am not ashamed of it. Well you should be ashamed. It's dating, not prostitution. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cristo Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Well you should be ashamed. It's dating, not prostitution. Dating and prostitution are two sides of the same coin. Either way, the man is paying for something. The fact that paying for her company (as if he is lucky that she is there) is accepted by society, while paying directly for sex isn't tells us a lot about our society and which gender is privileged. As previously stated, I am not ashamed of my viewpoint. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Dating and prostitution are two sides of the same coin. Either way, the man is paying for something. The fact that paying for her company (as if he is lucky that she is there) is accepted by society, while paying directly for sex isn't tells us a lot about our society and which gender is privileged. As previously stated, I am not ashamed of my viewpoint. Just be aware that lots of people don’t look at things that way, so make your viewpoint known when you buy a woman dinner. There’s no contract formed if there’s no agreement to the terms. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 ufo8mycat you completely missed the humor in my post. Congrats to you sir, for being such a bore. Link to post Share on other sites
ufo8mycat Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 ufo8mycat you completely missed the humor in my post. Congrats to you sir, for being such a bore. and congratulations to you Sir for humour so subtle as to be completely undetectable. A skill that doesn't come easily. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Hearing about the "good old days" of dating cracks me up, especially from other people my age (40s). We called guys creepy, rejected guys, felt awkward, and everything else even back in the 80s. Maybe it just became better understood with the advent of the internet? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 and congratulations to you Sir for humour so subtle as to be completely undetectable. A skill that doesn't come easily. Who the hell goes to drive in theaters and gets a milkshake anymore? Or calls their girl a "lady"? Subtle sure, but not undetectable. Gotta stop taking everything so seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 In our parents days, being romantic, having flowers delivered at her workplace after a date, etc....was considering romantic. Sadly, romance is now considered creepy/stalking. Women tend to get offended more easily than they did back in the day. If you give flowers to a woman before X number of dates (whatever amount is written in the book/magazine she's reading) you're considered desperate and 'not challenging enough'. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 The fact that paying for her company (as if he is lucky that she is there) is accepted by society, while paying directly for sex isn't tells us a lot about our society and which gender is privileged. As previously stated, I am not ashamed of my viewpoint. Oh she is certainly not lucky to be there. I have no problem with prostitution. But I do have issue with men who think buying a drink or meal for a woman makes her obliged to have sex with him, or spending time with a Person and talkng to them is a huge burden and waste of time. If you just want sex, do that. Why vother tricking women into believing you want to get to know them? It's dishonest and rude. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Oh she is certainly not lucky to be there. I have no problem with prostitution. But I do have issue with men who think buying a drink or meal for a woman makes her obliged to have sex with him, or spending time with a Person and talkng to them is a huge burden and waste of time. If you just want sex, do that. Why vother tricking women into believing you want to get to know them? It's dishonest and rude. Same here. If a man just wants sex, there are venurs for that. Therrs no need to bother with a date and waste her time. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 This is exactly it. I would prefer that a woman has absolutely no say in who she dates. Personally, I think if a man pays for a woman, she owes him sex. Yes, this is a stereotype and even most men would say that they don't feel this way. I, personally, do and am not ashamed of it. Its a shame when your dating philosophy reads like a dating article from the Onion. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Copelandsanity Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I don't know about the "good old days," but technology has certainly made things worse. Aside from dating, just with hanging out with people in general I see so much of: - wanting instant gratification - short attention spans - texting/IMing in lieu of conversation - heads buried in and constantly checking phones - obsessed with social media - OLD = online shopping 2 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 That trickery goes both ways. Sure, plenty of guys trick women into sex, but I sincerely believe many of those women could see the signs of that sort of thing going on...if they chose to. I think most would rather just sleep with the guy, then complain after the fact that he was just using her for sex. Those venues are illegal almost everywhere in the USA. Sure, a guy can go out and pay a hooker to get his rocks off, but he risks much in doing so. Also no reason to pay when so many women are more than willing to hop in the sack when they first meet you. Realy? Wasnt aware it was illegal there. But still, like you say if there are plenty of women who also just want sex then why do some guys complain about having to buy them a meal first? Wow $20 for a bowl of pasta, she totally has to get in bed now. Weird logic. I mean, how cheap for one thing. No one wants to be used, and regardless of whether seeing the signs, i think it is morally wrong to fool someone that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I have a hard time thinking a woman is being fooled if she is willing to sleep with him on the first date. After all, regardless if the guy was being truthful or not, it is not like she was forced to sleep with him. If she isn't confident of the guy's intentions, then don't sleep with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 Pretty much. Most guys with any dating experience have found that the typical romantic stuff fails more often than not. I have never had any success showing admiration for women, or being romantic. Almost all of my dating success has come from displaying indifference towards women. Right, and the thing is, when you're indifferent, you're not giving them any attention...this bugs them and they start even calling you, however... keep in mind...they don't call you because they LIKE you, they call you because you're not giving them any attention....which is a fleeting moment. Once you give them the attention, don't expect them to stick around...until you stop giving them attention of coures...then...wash,rinse,repeat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 Dating and prostitution are two sides of the same coin. Either way, the man is paying for something. The fact that paying for her company (as if he is lucky that she is there) is accepted by society, while paying directly for sex isn't tells us a lot about our society and which gender is privileged. As previously stated, I am not ashamed of my viewpoint. Technically, if you think about it,...considering how relationships typically last only from a few months to appx 3 years on average...I would say it's a bit of an escort/prostituting kind of thing. Or....you could call it a romantic FWB situation *Shrug* who knows. Yes, that sounds bad, I know....but with the way things have been going, some men and women are just content with the temporary companionship, sex, cuddling, and the like. Kind of like friendships, after all...they don't last forever. Just enjoy the companionship in the moment, right? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Right, and the thing is, when you're indifferent, you're not giving them any attention...this bugs them and they start even calling you, however... keep in mind...they don't call you because they LIKE you, they call you because you're not giving them any attention....which is a fleeting moment. Once you give them the attention, don't expect them to stick around...until you stop giving them attention of coures...then...wash,rinse,repeat. I think you might be confusing issues.... By "indifferent" its not really that you arent giving them attention...More often than not, its that the guy who is successful, career driven, has outside interests, etc, isnt smothering his SO with attention..He cant...there arent enough hours in the day..There is no "planned" indifference to look aloof or less desperafe and I dont think they ar "bugged" by it.....Most women find these guys generally more attractive on a lot of levels...Id imagine there is nothing more off putting for some women than a guy thats always hanging around(not literally, but via text/tel/etd) like a little puppy dog.. Bottom line is that if there is no attraction, then being indifferent is just going to make it easier for her to tell you to take a hike... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 Bottom line is that if there is no attraction, then being indifferent is just going to make it easier for her to tell you to take a hike... TFY ALso, good point, if you're not attractive to here, there's no amount of indifference that will attract her. *shrug* I get a kick out of how some people who give dating advice say, "Show her you're not too available" been down that road, did that with a woman for over a week....never heard from her, it was like I was a fart in the wind to her. lol Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Same here. If a man just wants sex, there are venurs for that. Therrs no need to bother with a date and waste her time. Men will be judged for using such 'venues' so it isn't really an option at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I have a hard time thinking a woman is being fooled if she is willing to sleep with him on the first date. After all, regardless if the guy was being truthful or not, it is not like she was forced to sleep with him. If she isn't confident of the guy's intentions, then don't sleep with him. All on deaf ears mate. Women love opening their legs for those types and it's a perfect excuse later so they don't look so promiscuous. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Those venues are illegal almost everywhere in the USA. Sure, a guy can go out and pay a hooker to get his rocks off, but he risks much in doing so. Also no reason to pay when so many women are more than willing to hop in the sack when they first meet you. . And there are plenty of ways around that..Actually, law enforcement targets providers about 90% of the time. I've said many times what some of the men on ls need a hooker or a RealDoll, not a gf. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Realy? Wasnt aware it was illegal there. But still, like you say if there are plenty of women who also just want sex then why do some guys complain about having to buy them a meal first? Wow $20 for a bowl of pasta, she totally has to get in bed now. Weird logic. I mean, how cheap for one thing. No one wants to be used, and regardless of whether seeing the signs, i think it is morally wrong to fool someone that way. I know right...And I've said before guys could just go to BP or CL if sex is so readily available, but that idea was poohpoohed. Could it be that people were upset at the source (hot potato)rather than the message? I've unfortunately had this convo with men before. Guys want the bragging rights, and they want to feel special and picked. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Men will be judged for using such 'venues' so it isn't really an option at all. And he won't be judged for being less than honest with a date? Oh, I forgot, he gets bragging rights and a notch in the belt. Of course,it's an option. He doesn't have to tell the world what he's doing. I'm willing to bet the woman will be judged an awful lot more than he will be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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