preraph Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Oh I'm not even trying for that. I don't want that, but my grandparents think I should, and that there's something wrong with me, lol. This is a very small town, where most folks DID get married right out of high school. I chose the path less traveled, and went to college, did my own thing. Parents and grandparents and even friends always want you to mirror what they did because it validates their choices and also makes them feel you're like them and after they're dead and gone, someone a lot like them still lives. But it's your life, so don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing what they did. Once your friends marry, they'll wish you were married; once they have kids, they'll pressure you to have kids. Just keep in mind that all those people had their life to do with what they wanted or what they could accomplish, and they don't have the right to get to live your life too. That's yours and only yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 In fairness, how much does being a nice person mean for anything in life? Stop and think about it for a second. At work. For friendship. If you can't get the job done or are boring, it means squat to most people. I mean, how much does being really kind, selfless, non-ladder climbing and not talking crap about others help the obese, boring, homely woman? I mean, I would have to consider her, especially for friendship, because of my own experience with being rejected. But that is neither here nor there. Back to your point, young men are taught a lot of things that are fallacies. Why? Makes for better movies and stories I suppose. I think you are right and I think this is where we are all going so very wrong. In this day we are literally bombarded constantly with images from the media, advertising, soaps, magazines, even the blinking news has skinny people who are immaculate rather than "nutty professor" types. To be good looking is the end game rather than to be someone of substance. The older I get the more I am slowly eradicating this nonsense from my life simply because its not REAL. Our "roles" are now completely screwed and not at all defined in any way shape or form so none of us know what we are supposed to be other than "pretty". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 And don't forget the invention of the birth control pill, also during the 50's. That has had a huge effect too. Exactly. It's all about birth control finally being an option and freeing women from becoming mothers the first time they had sex. It's the best thing that's happened to women since the dawn of time. My friend and I were talking the other day and she's completely baffled why girls are still "accidentally" getting pregnant. I mean, they're not even trying but they somehow expect it won't happen to them. My friend said, Jeez, every woman I know was focused on not getting pregnant. And it's true. When birth control was new, women were religious about getting on the pill and not having any accidents. And they mostly didn't have any either unless they were very disorganized and couldn't remember to take their pill every day. Today we have remedies even for that, but the teen birth rate is through the roof. Another thing these guys who fantasize about having total control over a woman by going back in time aren't thinking about is the way birth control worked back then is once the woman decided she'd had enough kids -- they were done with sex. There was no other way and back then oral sex and all that was rare and considered disgusting and for perverts. It might resume after menopause, but given the lack of hormone therapies we have since the advent of "the pill," mostly women weren't physically ready for that. There was exceptions of course, but it certainly peeled it way back and other physical problems that come with menopause could keep you from being able to have sex. I truly wish all the men with this mindset of wanting women to go back to slavery would move to a third-world country. Fortunately, most guys are way more capable than to need that in order to get a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Anti-feminist = people who are against women's rights and against gender equality. So I can't be for gender equality and criticize/ disagree with feminism? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
braindamage Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I truly wish all the men with this mindset of wanting women to go back to slavery would move to a third-world country. Fortunately, most guys are way more capable than to need that in order to get a woman. IDK - sounds like a crappy deal for the women there. I'd rather see the status of women in those countries improve rather than worsen it with an influx of the people that are detrimental to it over here. If anything those countries need more equal rights movement than less. Think about it, they're pretty harmless over here but over there... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 So I can't be for gender equality and criticize/ disagree with feminism? I consider feminism to be equal to gender equality. Maybe you have a different definition of feminism. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I consider feminism to be equal to gender equality. Maybe you have a different definition of feminism. He probably does. In the eyes of a good number of people feminism is the same as misandry. I know but that is the image it has with many people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 (edited) ^ Well, and would it be any wonder if there was misandry (hatred of men) out there with some of the most vocal men railing to keep women enslaved under their control. What's not to hate? Doesn't mean a particular woman hates all men; just means she hates the men who view their entire gender as one who should be subserviant. I hate those kind of men, but I love to death the ones who aren't like that. Well, "hate" is too strong a word since I actually give them very little thought at all since they're not allowed into my world, but on the internet, you always come across the extremists. Edited October 11, 2014 by preraph Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 So I can't be for gender equality and criticize/ disagree with feminism? You can't argue with a feminist, they'll just call you a misogynist without even listening to what you have to say. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 ^ Well, and would it be any wonder if there was misandry (hatred of men) out there with some of the most vocal men railing to keep women enslaved under their control. What's not to hate? Doesn't mean a particular woman hates all men; just means she hates the men who view their entire gender as one who should be subserviant. I hate those kind of men, but I love to death the ones who aren't like that. I don't support anything that hates me. No self respecting person would. I would never you to support misogynists so why should I support people that are against me? Militant feminists and the MRAs you describe are pretty much two sides to the same coin. I don't support them either. I am against anybody that wants to be against an entire group of people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 So I can't be for gender equality and criticize/ disagree with feminism? There are as many definitions of "feminism" as there are men and women on this earth. Literally everyone has a different definition of it or no definition at all. But the basic tenet of feminism is those who fight for their equal rights. How they define what rights they want to have equal is all over the place. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 There are as many definitions of "feminism" as there are men and women on this earth. Literally everyone has a different definition of it or no definition at all. But the basic tenet of feminism is those who fight for their equal rights. How they define what rights they want to have equal is all over the place. No, that's the text book definition. If you look what they're teaching students at universities, that'll tell you what feminism's really about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 No, that's the text book definition. If you look what they're teaching students at universities, that'll tell you what feminism's really about. Like I haven't been to university. And like I wouldn't know what feminism is firsthand having been born only 30 years after women in the US were allowed to vote and born into the first generation of women for whom birth control was an option and who would need to go into the workplace and fight my way up the ladder of the Texas good 'ol boy system to accomplish my dream. You go right ahead and tell me what feminism is about. To me, it's about not letting people who think equality is a bad thing control me or hold me back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I deleted my own message. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 The person I am responding to deleted her message. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Like I haven't been to university. And like I wouldn't know what feminism is firsthand having been born only 30 years after women in the US were allowed to vote and born into the first generation of women for whom birth control was an option and who would need to go into the workplace and fight my way up the ladder of the Texas good 'ol boy system to accomplish my dream. You go right ahead and tell me what feminism is about. To me, it's about not letting people who think equality is a bad thing control me or hold me back. You should check out what they're teaching today. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I don't know what they are teaching at colleges but I do know the kind of garbage my mother and her friends used to preach and what they post on some feminist blogs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I don't know what they are teaching at colleges but I do know the kind of garbage my mother and her friends used to preach and what they post on some feminist blogs. Men don't know difference between rape and consent. The patriarchy and the wage gap. All men are rapist at heart and all that other shyt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Men don't know difference between rape and consent. The patriarchy and the wage gap. All men are rapist at heart and all that other shyt. I remember reading a message that said every man is a rapist but some are active and some are dormant but rape is a part of all of us. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I remember reading a message that said every man is a rapist but some are active and some are dormant but rape is a part of all of us. There's all kinds of fu*ked up shyt. Anything you bring up, they'll tell you "those are the bad feminst" Who are the good feminist? Because it seems like whenever it's convenient for them they say "not all feminist are like that" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 (edited) I don't know what they are teaching at colleges but I do know the kind of garbage my mother and her friends used to preach and what they post on some feminist blogs. That's about individuals. People sometimes label themselves something while taking positions outside or different from the movement or philosophy that they are claiming to adhere to. The most common example is killing in the name of a religion that says that killing is wrong. There's all kinds of fu*ked up shyt. Anything you bring up, they'll tell you "those are the bad feminst" Who are the good feminist? Because it seems like whenever it's convenient for them they say "not all feminist are like that" Good, bad... again pointless bickering, and the meanings and beliefs get buried in labels. I think this started because a young women was averse to feminism while supporting equal rights. But that was its original purpose and for many or most, it still is. Edited October 11, 2014 by BlueIris Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 You can't argue with a feminist, they'll just call you a misogynist without even listening to what you have to say. It's like US relations with Israel. Any Criticism of Israel=Anti Semite. The power of the 3rd rail;) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Online dating is still taboo for the most part. Most people meet their so's offline. Women love to get hit on, point blank. Even if she's not available or not attracted to her you just paid her a compliment. I don't know where this "women don't like to be approached" crap started from. If a woman looks like she's tuned out, don't aplroach her. I mean if she's got headphones on or her face is burried in her lap top I'd say that's on the guy if he got a bad react I n. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Good, bad... again pointless bickering, and the meanings and beliefs get buried in labels. I think this started because a young women was averse to feminism while supporting equal rights. But that was its original purpose and for many or most, it still is. Nice knee-jerk Link to post Share on other sites
quidproquo89 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 The person I am responding to deleted her message. that could have gone on a while Link to post Share on other sites
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