confusedmind Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 hey guys... We had a new 2ic store manager start at work in september. i thought he was pretty cute right from the start, but didn't really have much to do with him as i was just a "worker". Since then though, i've had a few promotions and am now a department manager. Since this change, i need and have to report to him directly about issues/concerns etc. Through this, we've started building a fairly good friendship. We always muck around with eachother and laugh about anything/everything. Hes a great guy and i guess with him my feelings for him have grown. The last month though, he has started to act differently (since i got latest promotion) ... he has started flirting with me pretty constantly, and makes sexual comments (jokingly) to both myself and other boss' about me. For Eg - I wore a skirt one day, and i was talking to him and my direct boss and having a joke with us and telling us how he always checks out customers, and that he was checking me out all day because i was wearing a skirt, and that he loved every minute of it. I didn't know how to respond to this, so of course i blushed, and walked away. (i'm 20 by the way, he is 30). Another instance is yesterday when i was in one of the offices by myself he walked in behind me and put his hands on my shoulders saying "how you doin..." I just am confused about how i should take his comments. He is a very muck around type of guy and loves joking around with people.. he doesn't mean the comments in an unappropriate sexual harrasment type way. When he says things to me it sometime seems as though he is trying to make out that hes joking, but he isn't really. When we are alone hes a totally different person to what he is infront of others. I would drop everything to be with him because we get along really well... i just don't know if i should perhaps make a subtle suggestion or what? Other factor that is bothering me is that hes one of the boss', like me. Though he is higher up then myself. Anyhow any help would be greatly appreciated... i'm lost with what to do :S Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Is he single? Link to post Share on other sites
heart2heart Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Anyhow any help would be greatly appreciated... i'm lost with what to do :S Thanks! Quite simple really.......if he's married, steer clear! Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedmind Posted March 8, 2005 Author Share Posted March 8, 2005 yeah, he is single... Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedmind Posted March 8, 2005 Author Share Posted March 8, 2005 well, as far as i know anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
heart2heart Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Are you married? The following quote leads me to believe that you may have more to lose than him, ie: a husband, family, etc...; I would drop everything to be with him because we get along really well........ Combined with the fact that you've posted in OtherMan/OtherWoman also. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedmind Posted March 8, 2005 Author Share Posted March 8, 2005 nah, i'm not married, i'm 20years old. sorry for the wrong choice of words :S Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 If he's single, then indulge yourself in all the flirting you want to, just don't be inappropriate at work. PS-dating people you work with can be a bad idea. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Make sure you check up on the 'relationship policies' at your place of employment, and follow them while at work. If other co-workers catch on to what is going on there can be some sticky situations with accusations of favoritism and conflicts of interest. Just because you don't find his behavior inappropriate doesn't mean that other co-workers feel that way. You'll find that there are always people who are more than happy to make things as difficult as possible for whatever reasons. In the place where I used to work, one of the assistant managers was having an affair with the store manager, and the employees who answered to her felt like they couldn't lodge complaints or concerns with the store manager. Kind of hard to think he'll take any of them seriously, since they were about his girlfriend. Just play it discreet and ask him to stop making sexual comments about you at work, and to act appropriately with you while at work. What he's doing not only undermines any authority you might have, but it also sets tongues to wagging on the rumor mill. No one will take you seriously, if you are treated like a sexual object at work by your boss. No need to add to the rumor heap and make things worse - just ask him to keep it professional in professional settings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedmind Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 thanks for your replies.. i will let you know how it all turns out and what he says when i tell him to keep it professional Link to post Share on other sites
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