Clockwork Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I just didn't want to cause any trouble at this family get together, or make a scene. just not my way. I just thought the wife would adhere to my request not continue to dance with the daughters BF, that's what got to me the most. Make a scene? Look, this guy started it. You can be discreet, you say "Hey (Andy) come over here. Have some respect for me and my wife, I saw what you did, we aren't those type of people. You are dating my daughter, remember?" Now, your wife should have known a bit better too. Dancing with a guy after he inappropriately touched her breasts, that's just asking for trouble. But blame the guy first. And your daughter? She can't find a guy out there that is better? There aren't any men out there who won't make a physical pass at your wife? Tell her to raise her standards or else Jerry Springer is the next step for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 OP, I really can't understand your wife actions here - or rather the lack of them. If some guy I hardly knew was touching me up at a family event he would get one warning and then a smack in the mouth - and I don't care how much trouble it caused. You wife acted as if it was no big deal, which I find odd. There is something not right here, so I would suggest you keep your eye's open..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Now, your wife should have known a bit better too. Dancing with a guy after he inappropriately touched her breasts, that's just asking for trouble. But blame the guy first. And your daughter? She can't find a guy out there that is better? There aren't any men out there who won't make a physical pass at your wife? Tell her to raise her standards or else Jerry Springer is the next step for you. Sorry, but why should he blame the guy first? The guy didn't stand up in front of all of their friends and family and vow to be faithful to him. If it happened once and the wife told the guy where to go and then left to go back to her friends or husband then yes, blame the guy, although I would also question what kind of signals/things she saying were going on for him to even think that was appropriate. Whatever a douche the boyfriend is, that's between him and your daughter unfortunately and you can't do anything about that even if you can't stand the thought of him messing your precious girl around. If the wife let it happen and didn't kick off at the guy or walk off then you have serious problems in your marriage. I'm not even married but if a man other than a medical professional touched my breasts in any environment I would respond as though he had assaulted me and get away. I would not encourage it because I'm in a monogamous relationship. Your issue here is with the wife, buddy, not the boyfriend. He never made an agreement with you to be faithful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Discjockey80 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 You have three issues OP. The one issue is that you didn't confront the BF when you should have and that's no doubt worsening the situation and your own sense of manliness here. The fear of not wanting to create a scene makes me think you have a family that regards proper etiquette over moral values. You don't believe you would have had the support of your family/friends if you did do something. This needs to be addressed and tackled right away. The second issue and clearly the more alarming one is that your wife TOTALLY disrespected you by not refraining from going back and doing something that you made clear to her you weren't comfortable with. She allowed another man to interact with her in a sexually suggestive manner and didn't stop or withdraw from the situation. So, you have major marital issues you need to address. Third and finally, your daughter 'your little girl' is with a douche. He already has and will continue to hurt her and violate her trust and psychological sanity. Is this what you want for her and your grandchildren? Additionally, your daughters BF is disrespecting her with her mother. And your wife is letting her daughters BF enjoy her assets and seems to enjoy letting him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 What I see is a son in law with a lot of control over this family. He has the ability to use the grandchildren as leverage to get away with whatever he wants. I'm surprised no one picked up on the comment about not rocking the boat because there is a possibility of not being able to see the grand kids. The family will not willing to stand up to this guy, so what's happening? It making them turn on each other instead of dealing with the root of the problem....this son-in-law. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Sorry, but why should he blame the guy first? The guy didn't stand up in front of all of their friends and family and vow to be faithful to him. If it happened once and the wife told the guy where to go and then left to go back to her friends or husband then yes, blame the guy, although I would also question what kind of signals/things she saying were going on for him to even think that was appropriate. Whatever a douche the boyfriend is, that's between him and your daughter unfortunately and you can't do anything about that even if you can't stand the thought of him messing your precious girl around. If the wife let it happen and didn't kick off at the guy or walk off then you have serious problems in your marriage. I'm not even married but if a man other than a medical professional touched my breasts in any environment I would respond as though he had assaulted me and get away. I would not encourage it because I'm in a monogamous relationship. Your issue here is with the wife, buddy, not the boyfriend. He never made an agreement with you to be faithful. I did say the wife should have known better too. She did apologize to him, so that's a start. I don't know what issues they have in their marriage either. My wife would never hang around a guy on a dance floor that was groping her. So that's for him and his wife to figure out. But in the meantime, I don't care if the wife is telling him to put his hands on her, the guy is doing this to the GRANDMOTHER of his children. Think about that for a second. How messed up is that. All the while he is still with this guy's daughter. The guy didn't have respect for anyone in that family, not even his own children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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