creyente7 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 We took a break off from each other meaning we were broken up for that week. Anyways when I saw her she gave me a second chance to make things work. And we agreed to communicate our problems instead of bottling it up. So I can tell she's trying because she texts me and lets me know what she's doing but everything just doesn't feel the same. She doesnt say "baby" or "love" or anything like that. I havent heard her say I love you yet and its been 2 weeks since we got back together. I told her that she's changed and she said she can't help it and that she's not trying to do it. Ive been trying to be patient and say sweet things to her, Making her laugh and all but its not reciprocated. She said that we lost that spark and that she feels we dont connect anymore, just last week I asked her if she wanted to break up 3 times at 3 different time frame and she asked if thats what I wanted, I said "I know I want to be with you and a part of my life, I dont need a girl to make me happy but Happy that you're part of my life." And she paused and said "No, We've been through so much together, I want to try" but even after that she's still the same all week. No affection or excitement. I dont know if im wasting my time with this girl, or she really just needs time to have those feelings back. Ive been giving her little gifts that were meaningful and use to make her happy. Whenever I get distant or ignore her she gets really angry with me. But im only giving her space and letting her come to me. What should I do at this point? Keep trying to see if she'll love me again or just let go? Link to post Share on other sites
strong-hearted Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 just give her some space, try to not contact her for a while and go under the radar as well, idk if it's true what people say about if she doesn't appreciate your precence she will appreciate your absence, so maybe if she sees that she's losing you those feelings will come back, just be patient Link to post Share on other sites
Author creyente7 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 (edited) Thats the thing. I dont know how to tell her that, or if I should even tell her. She got mad at me last night because She knows I read her text but I ignored her texts and calls. Maybe I should turn off the receipt on my phone so she doesn't know if I'm reading them. I feel like If I distance myself she'll take it the wrong way and even resent me more. I guess the other thing I can do is just be plain to her when she texts. No affection through text. Just to make her feel like im pulling away or she's losing me. We're suppose to go to this fair tommorow but when I asked her if she still wanted me to come she said "if I wanted to" she was excited when her bestfriend was coming but when she found out her bestfriend couldnt come I suggested that only Her and I go to the fair and she didn't seem excited about it. Everytime I text or or call her she sounds so plain and no emotions, everytime she does that I get even more discouraged to stay happy and excited in the conversation because her monotonous voice brings me down. She use to be really happy and excited whenever we'd talk. Although she suggested to work on our relationship she's not giving me much to hold on to, each day I feel myself getting even more sad and drifting apart from her. If only I can get some sort of assurance that her behavior is temporary I will do everything I can to bring it back the way things were. Right now I feel like im hanging by a thread. My first week of breaking up with her I was in my depressed state, then when we got back each day she acts cold, I dont get depressed anymore. Its more like sadness and loneliness. Although we're together, I feel as if she's a million miles apart. I don't know how long more I can keep doing this. I just want to know if feelings ever go back for a girl, if so how? And Although the time may be unknown maybe a set time to see when I should start seeing improvements? Our 2 year mark is coming up in 13 days Oh and also. We are long distance, 2 hours apart Edited October 3, 2014 by creyente7 Link to post Share on other sites
strong-hearted Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 oh ok yeah I see what you mean, well honestly you can't keep living like that, all you can do is just talk to her and get things straight, something like that happened to me but when my now x started acting cold and distant I would ask him what's going on and all he would say is oh I'm just stressed out and blahh blahh, he wouldn't talk to me and just kept his feelings bottled up that when he finally blew up he said we needed a break and that he wasn't happy with me any more and that he was losing love for me..next thing you know two weeks after I thought we were taking a break I find out he's seeing someone, I asked him to bring me my stuff back he made it official with that girl, so you don't want it to get that far, talk to her to get things clear and if you feel she's still acting like that then just go NC trust me yes she will be mad at first but then she will start to miss you and appreciate what she had and well if you guys really love eachother distance won't be a problem either but it's best just to talk to her cuz you don't want it to get worse Link to post Share on other sites
Author creyente7 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 Okay yes I understand what you're saying but you and I are on a different stand point. I dont know if it gets down to feelings but I feel like men and women think and feel differently. Guys tend to think more logical and women more emotionally. I sent her a love letter today that focuses alot on feelings and emotions. Maybe it'll work on her but not sure if she read it yet. When girls emotionally detach themselves is it ever possible to open their hearts again and maybe work from there? I don't know if she listens to me but i told her that I should have never taken her opening up to me for granted. I used it against her. Not i feel like her guard is up and wont let me in anymore. She's emotionally detached herself from me. I don't know how women's mind work but maybe, just maybe she will let me in again, cuz I know this time I will make it count Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Did she initiate the break? If yes, then she was with another guy and you're just wasting your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author creyente7 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) We kept in contact for that week. All she did was go to work and home. If not she went to see her bestfriend which she had proof of. Its funny how fast you came to that conclusion. Why would she stick around when I gave her 3 chances to break up with me completely. She's a very nice girl so I cant see her doing that Edited October 4, 2014 by creyente7 Link to post Share on other sites
Haerts Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Did she initiate the break? If yes, then she was with another guy and you're just wasting your time. That's not true. Yesterday I told my boyfriend I wanted to break up and there's no other person involved; we just weren't going along very well - well, it wasn't being good/healthy for me; he was happy though. All what he said was "okay then, if that's what you want". And it made me think that he never really cared about us, else he would at least question what happened to make me want to break up. One hour later and I get texts from him saying he doesn't understand what happened, that he just wanted me to know that he loves me and that he wants me back. I told him we could talk, but now we decided to take a break. He needs time to think if that's what he wants (to try again) and I also need time to think if that's really what I want, even though I'd like to try once again. So OP, it could have nothing to do with her going out with another guy. But it's clear here that the spark is gone (for her at least), she's closed off and it doesn't seems like she really wants to try again. Maybe she's with you because she knows you're a good guy? Maybe she doesn't want to be alone? Maybe she thought she would be able to continue but now has realized that she can't go on (still can't tell you that)? Maybe she needs more time? Regardless of what it is that is going through her mind, she has changed and you know that. All you can do now is keep on trying to bring back that spark and if it gets too tiring, talk to her and leave the relationship, as hard as it may be. She's not showing much interest and I don't think you should settle with that. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Did she initiate the break? If yes, then she was with another guy and you're just wasting your time. How did you come to that conclusion? OP, you're in limbo. Go silent, see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author creyente7 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 That's not true. Yesterday I told my boyfriend I wanted to break up and there's no other person involved; we just weren't going along very well - well, it wasn't being good/healthy for me; he was happy though. All what he said was "okay then, if that's what you want". And it made me think that he never really cared about us, else he would at least question what happened to make me want to break up. One hour later and I get texts from him saying he doesn't understand what happened, that he just wanted me to know that he loves me and that he wants me back. I told him we could talk, but now we decided to take a break. He needs time to think if that's what he wants (to try again) and I also need time to think if that's really what I want, even though I'd like to try once again. So OP, it could have nothing to do with her going out with another guy. But it's clear here that the spark is gone (for her at least), she's closed off and it doesn't seems like she really wants to try again. Maybe she's with you because she knows you're a good guy? Maybe she doesn't want to be alone? Maybe she thought she would be able to continue but now has realized that she can't go on (still can't tell you that)? Maybe she needs more time? Regardless of what it is that is going through her mind, she has changed and you know that. All you can do now is keep on trying to bring back that spark and if it gets too tiring, talk to her and leave the relationship, as hard as it may be. She's not showing much interest and I don't think you should settle with that. This one I could agree to a great extend. Although she took me back she hasn't shown much reason to convince me that she really wanted too. Although I question her almost everyday if she really wanted to try again and she keeps saying yes, but she also tells me not to rush because feelings don't go back in one night especially with the amount of times we've fought and argued, she was convinced we never really got along and spark was gone Link to post Share on other sites
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