Donate Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 So I am 48 and she is 28. Both giving each other that missing thing in our marriages. But she seems a bit clingy...fact is we can be nothing more than friends who have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
greenies Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Unfortunately women don't always see it that way. While it's a well known fact that men can engage in sex without feeling most women do not. Not sure what you're asking, but I would recommend having a frank & honest convo with her or you might be heading for rough waters. Good Luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 So I am 48 and she is 28. Both giving each other that missing thing in our marriages. But she seems a bit clingy...fact is we can be nothing more than friends who have sex. Good luck with that. Do some reading here to foreshadow the rest of your relationship. Perhaps take a poll to see how many end up well. Fix your marriage or leave it. Those are your two real choices. Both of you bringing a third person into the marriage is pretty well destined to be a trainwreck. A lot of them take a few years to unfold and become less and less managable over time. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 So I am 48 and she is 28. Both giving each other that missing thing in our marriages. But she seems a bit clingy...fact is we can be nothing more than friends who have sex. Of course she's clingy. She's probably in love with you. Few women can have casual sex and keep emotions out of it. Many men can separate love and sex. Do you have children? Just make sure you know what it is you could be giving up for sex on the side. Your family unit intact under one roof... Link to post Share on other sites
ThatsJustHowIRoll Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Oh ive heard thisone before....stop me if I'm wrong... Married man goes through midlife crisis, finds a girl 20 years younger with daddy issues who has a nice tight bod and lays it out. You partake, because yanno, its only sex and you deserve it. Next thing you know, she thinks its love, gets clingy, wants more, starts becoming demanding. Suddenly the cheap sex isnt looking so good, you withdraw, she gets mad and BAM..,.tells your wife. What a cliche. As BetrayedH said...good luck with that. Try thinking with the head ABOVE your shoulders 7 Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 For a start, you are not "dating". You are having an affair. This is a relationship that is based on both of you lying to your respective spouses so that, certainly for you from the way your post reads, you can eat your cake. Don't try to soften it by calling it "dating". As for how things could work out, based in your OP it is going to get messy and could cause devastation in two families. Seeing another post of yours in another thread, I think you should actually be focussing on whether you want to stay in your marriage or not. If you want to stay, end the affair and work on your marriage with your wife. If you don't want to stay then end the marriage so that your wife can hopefully find someone who truly loves her and you can work on yourself and figure out what you really want in life. Throughout all this, you should not see the OW. You know it is a car crash waiting to happen so end the affair and concentrate on the right priorities. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 Actually she found me Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 She doesn't appear to be on the same page as you. It's becoming more personal for her and you need to have that talk and make her see that this is not going beyond what it is. If you feel she is holding on tighter, this might not end well for both families involved. There's a huge age gap and she is probably attracted to the stability that the older party provides (relationship-wise, not financial). I certainly find this with my MM, he knows how to handle me better, our convos are intelligent and I learn a lot from his experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Oh ive heard thisone before....stop me if I'm wrong... Married man goes through midlife crisis, finds a girl 20 years younger with daddy issues who has a nice tight bod and lays it out. You partake, because yanno, its only sex and you deserve it. Next thing you know, she thinks its love, gets clingy, wants more, starts becoming demanding. Suddenly the cheap sex isnt looking so good, you withdraw, she gets mad and BAM..,.tells your wife. What a cliche. As BetrayedH said...good luck with that. Try thinking with the head ABOVE your shoulders My story to almost exactly only the girl was single, looking for a daddy to take care of her and her child the she felt she deserved. Then with less tact than Joan Rivers let me know when H dumped her. Kicker here is she came after ME. Was mad and hateful to ME (like cease and desist order crazy). Why? Because a grown man wanted a piece on the side to help him feel young again. Poor guy. He got exactly what he wanted and now 4 years later, I'm done and out and he is totally lost. Just separate from your wife. Decide if you want a divorce (before cheating more). Then take action as a man not a cheater. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Actually she found me Well, since you put it that way... Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelysweet2 Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 But she seems a bit clingy...fact is we can be nothing more than friends who have sex. Do you respect women? Why does a man believe his penis is so golden, that a female wishes for nothing more than your junk. She is not clingy, she has emotions, feelings, that apparently you may not have for anyone other than yourself. If you did have a healthy bond with women, then your self esteem would not rely on using someone for sex benefits only. Women are always giving women advice here, it is time for women to do the same for the men. Please find some self confidence, get therapy, and stop using filters to make you feel like a somebody instead of a nobody. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 So I am 48 and she is 28. Both giving each other that missing thing in our marriages. But she seems a bit clingy...fact is we can be nothing more than friends who have sex. Maybe you should stop altogether then if she seems clingy, because "talking" about it won't work. If you talk to her she might say she agrees that you can only be friends with benefits...but no one is control of their feelings 100% where they can guarantee they won't fall for the person and if she's already "clingy" as you say, there is no magic switch to just flip it off. So I'd just end things now and focus on fixing your marriage personally. She is also pretty young and you could be her dad, no offense, but I think she still has lots of time to either fix her marriage or get the hell out and find something better than be in an A where she is falling for a man at an entirely different life stage than her who it seems has way less incentive to change his situation. So IMO it would be best for both of you to end things with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatsJustHowIRoll Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Actually she found me Whoop de doo. What does that change? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 (edited) So I am 48 and she is 28. Both giving each other that missing thing in our marriages. But she seems a bit clingy...fact is we can be nothing more than friends who have sex. Why are you telling us this? Tell her this. (I bet you haven't - you like all this) Interesting how you felt the need to state your ages in the OP. Is that because you feel an ego boost, or because the age gap worries you? Edited October 5, 2014 by Popsicle Link to post Share on other sites
the_artist_1970 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Why are you telling us this? Tell her this. (I bet you haven't - you like all this) Interesting how you felt the need to state your ages in the OP. Is that because you feel an ego boost, or because the age gap worries you? Yep, possicle. Another middle aged man destroying his wife and marriage in an attempt to build his fragile ego. It's so cliche 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 So I am 48 and she is 28. Both giving each other that missing thing in our marriages. But she seems a bit clingy...fact is we can be nothing more than friends who have sex. Sorry, are you bragging or is this a cry for help? If a.) bragging: congratulations. how unusual ...middle aged man bangs much younger woman for ego boost. If b.) crying for help: End the affair, mercifully consider ending your M and seek counseling for being a walking cliche. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Temporarilyinsane Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Do the right thing and let them both go. Your wife deserves so much better and your "toy" would be much better off by not being used. Your actions leave long lasting scars even if you're able to separate your feelings. Then again, you wouldn't be here bragging if you actually cared about anyone other than yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted October 10, 2014 Author Share Posted October 10, 2014 Well me and my married lover took a step back from each other. I really don't have the time she needs. Lesson learned, there may be no such thing as a mutual sex only/no attachment fling. Oh well....I don't need the drama anyways Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelysweet2 Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Well me and my married lover took a step back from each other. I really don't have the time she needs. Lesson learned, there may be no such thing as a mutual sex only/no attachment fling. Oh well....I don't need the drama anyways You are pretty gross; she is better off. May she find a man with high self esteem, good morals, and is fabulous all the way around. Imo. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Donate Posted October 10, 2014 Author Share Posted October 10, 2014 You are pretty gross; she is better off. May she find a man with high self esteem, good morals, and is fabulous all the way around. Imo. Yeah right. A married woman should find a lover to cheat with who has high self esteem, good morals...blah blah blah LOL We are both married to other people, it is what it is....can't be nothing more than physical doh Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelysweet2 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Yeah right. A married woman should find a lover to cheat with who has high self esteem, good morals...blah blah blah LOL We are both married to other people, it is what it is....can't be nothing more than physical doh Married...single, gross. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Was that the age or IQ? Not being rude, trying to sort out this persons level based on the "doh" Statement. Sir? Are you of the nature to give little regard for consequence of behavior? Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Yeah right. A married woman should find a lover to cheat with who has high self esteem, good morals...blah blah blah LOL We are both married to other people, it is what it is....can't be nothing more than physical doh Your tone is what's irking people. Sure you can have physical affairs... Doesn't mean you still shouldn't respect your partner, which you're not displaying here. If your wife cops the same disrespect it wouldn't surprise me at all to hear you get no intimacy. Youre coming off as a bit of a jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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