I'm the other guy. But I'm in love. [Updated]

[bathtub-row]

There was a book out once about winning back someone you lost, or something like that. They also had a website but I can't remember the name of it and I can't find it in a google search. It was a great site and offered a lot of free information. I'll keep searching to see if I can find it. I know you haven't lost her but you want to win her and the book was great for that.

 

In the meantime, I'll give you one piece of advice -- don't act like you're some lost puppy with her. You will lose her respect. There's some reason why she got involved with you so it can't be all that great with her boyfriend. It's possible for you to completely turn her head but I can assure you that it's not going to happen by acting like you're her slave. Women fall in love with men they respect and admire. Period. They do not fall in love with men who have no boundaries and who let a woman walk all over them.

 

I'll let you know if I find the info I was looking for. Good luck!

[Markov23]

I'm the other guy in this situation, and my intentions are to be the main guy. So I've been seeing this woman for about 2 months now. Things have been very cool between us yet escalate at an average rate. I met her at our local gym and we see each other every weekday night, I train her when I'm done with my workout. When I first met her on the 3rd day when we hungout two months ago I went in for a kiss. Later Unfortunetly I found out she had a boyfriend of three years. She has kids which I like very much and the funny part is that boyfriend of three years hasn't even met them! Then I really didn't give a **** about him. To me he didn't exist because by then I was attached to her. Things went from me kissing her to seeing her tops and even fingering her. I'm here to ask advice on how to get her. I'm not here to get criticized of this "immoral" situation. She isn't married and all is fair in love and war. How do I get rid of this other man? She tells me she cares about me and she is emotionally attached to me. I wanna make her life better I'm not just gonna ruin someone's relationship. I wanna be with her and by her side at all times. She's been through alotta things and that boyfriend of hers hasn't really helped at all. She trusts me and has a lot of faith in me. Is there any steps to make him disqualified? I know some of you boys have good advice.

[Redhead14]

I'm the other guy in this situation, and my intentions are to be the main guy. So I've been seeing this woman for about 2 months now. Things have been very cool between us yet escalate at an average rate. I met her at our local gym and we see each other every weekday night, I train her when I'm done with my workout. When I first met her on the 3rd day when we hungout two months ago I went in for a kiss. Later Unfortunetly I found out she had a boyfriend of three years. She has kids which I like very much and the funny part is that boyfriend of three years hasn't even met them! Then I really didn't give a **** about him. To me he didn't exist because by then I was attached to her. Things went from me kissing her to seeing her tops and even fingering her. I'm here to ask advice on how to get her. I'm not here to get criticized of this "immoral" situation. She isn't married and all is fair in love and war. How do I get rid of this other man? She tells me she cares about me and she is emotionally attached to me. I wanna make her life better I'm not just gonna ruin someone's relationship. I wanna be with her and by her side at all times. She's been through alotta things and that boyfriend of hers hasn't really helped at all. She trusts me and has a lot of faith in me. Is there any steps to make him disqualified? I know some of you boys have good advice.

 

She's had a boyfriend of three years and has children he's never met. She is afraid of commitment. You can't make her life better, she has to do that herself and before she can commit to anyone. Be her friend, do not attempt to advance it beyond that until she has her life in order. YOu will set yourself up for drama and pain.

[Georgia2014]

I'm the other guy in this situation, and my intentions are to be the main guy. So I've been seeing this woman for about 2 months now. Things have been very cool between us yet escalate at an average rate. I met her at our local gym and we see each other every weekday night, I train her when I'm done with my workout. When I first met her on the 3rd day when we hungout two months ago I went in for a kiss. Later Unfortunetly I found out she had a boyfriend of three years. She has kids which I like very much and the funny part is that boyfriend of three years hasn't even met them! Then I really didn't give a **** about him. To me he didn't exist because by then I was attached to her. Things went from me kissing her to seeing her tops and even fingering her. I'm here to ask advice on how to get her. I'm not here to get criticized of this "immoral" situation. She isn't married and all is fair in love and war. How do I get rid of this other man? She tells me she cares about me and she is emotionally attached to me. I wanna make her life better I'm not just gonna ruin someone's relationship. I wanna be with her and by her side at all times. She's been through alotta things and that boyfriend of hers hasn't really helped at all. She trusts me and has a lot of faith in me. Is there any steps to make him disqualified? I know some of you boys have good advice.

 

Just tell her how you feel. You could always do something nice for her kids. Maybe ask to take her and her kids to a movie of the kids choice. Also buy popcorn/candy & cokes for the kids while there. Just be sincere and don't use her kids to win her from this other guy.

[Toodaloo]

You dont get rid of him. She needs to.

 

Be honest with her. Tell her you want to progress things but you dont want to while he is in the picture.

 

If she doesn't get rid of him I am afraid you will have to face the fact that you don't mean that much to her.

 

The n its your choice to either walk away or let your self esteem and respect for yourself slowly eradicate as you pine for her...

 

Be tough with yourself and keep it simple.

[Markov23]

Just tell her how you feel. You could always do something nice for her kids. Maybe ask to take her and her kids to a movie of the kids choice. Also buy popcorn/candy & cokes for the kids while there. Just be sincere and don't use her kids to win her from this other guy.

 

 

 

I met her kids very wonderful kids. I take out her son and daughters every now and then. No I'm not using them to get to her it's just that I believe that a relationship with her is a relationship with the kids.

[Markov23]

She's had a boyfriend of three years and has children he's never met. She is afraid of commitment. You can't make her life better, she has to do that herself and before she can commit to anyone. Be her friend, do not attempt to advance it beyond that until she has her life in order. YOu will set yourself up for drama and pain.

 

I'm her friend big time. She tells me a lot of things most of em are the most personal. She sees me on the weekdays and she sees him on the weekends.

[Markov23]

You dont get rid of him. She needs to.

 

Be honest with her. Tell her you want to progress things but you dont want to while he is in the picture.

 

If she doesn't get rid of him I am afraid you will have to face the fact that you don't mean that much to her.

 

The n its your choice to either walk away or let your self esteem and respect for yourself slowly eradicate as you pine for her...

 

Be tough with yourself and keep it simple.

 

 

Your very much right. It's just the truth is I've fallen for her and she knows it so told her a while back. The truth is I don't have the balls to give her an ultimatum. I wanna you know bed her a few times and get her emotions haywired then slap on my ultimatum. But I want her to be happy. I think the dude doesn't wanna meet her kids because in my opinion he's just having fun with her. But that's my opinion. I wanna make him out of the picture with deception if you know what I mean.

[Redhead14]

I'm her friend big time. She tells me a lot of things most of em are the most personal. She sees me on the weekdays and she sees him on the weekends.

 

She's had a boyfriend of three years and has children he's never met. She is afraid of commitment. You can't make her life better, she has to do that herself and before she can commit to anyone. Be her friend, do not attempt to advance it beyond that until she has her life in order. You will set yourself up for drama and pain.

 

Now she's introduced you to her children after two months? That's a little fast and the complete flip side of the other guy. She's clearly confused. Step back, I tell you.

[smackie9]

The more you say nothing the more you get stuck in the friends zone. She probably stays with her BF for finacial reasons, so be aware for your own benefit.

 

Now that it's at the level of you meeting the kids, it's time to have a conversation with her about your expectations, and ask her what she wants with you. Like the other poster said be prepared to walk. There is no sense in letting this go any further if she is just going to keep you at arms length. It is not fair to you at all. So let this conversation make or break this right now.

[Redhead14]

Let's say for the sake of argument, she is considering moving on with you. She will be in a state of flux so to speak . . . she will need space at least in order to get clarity and make the leap. Don't get too involved with her children yet. Let her know you're interested, but don't push her.

 

There a song by Lovin' Spoonful . . . Did you ever have to make up your mind . . .

 

There's so many changes and tears you must hide

Did you ever have to finally decide?

 

[Georgia2014]

Your very much right. It's just the truth is I've fallen for her and she knows it so told her a while back. The truth is I don't have the balls to give her an ultimatum. I wanna you know bed her a few times and get her emotions haywired then slap on my ultimatum. But I want her to be happy. I think the dude doesn't wanna meet her kids because in my opinion he's just having fun with her. But that's my opinion. I wanna make him out of the picture with deception if you know what I mean.

 

So you are perfectly happy being her weekday man while her boyfriend gets her the weekend? Why would she dump him since neither guy is making her pick? You need to gather up yourself respect and demand she pick. Tell her she can't have her cake and eat it to which is exactly what she's doing. How can you live with yourself? Do you not feel bad about being guy #2 which is exactly what you are. I'm not trying to be rude but it's the truth.

 

Also think about this she is probably having sex with him and not YOU. Are you seriously fine with that thought?

 

Here's another thought she is cheating on her boyfriend of three years with YOU. If she did dump him for you how do you know she won't do the same thing with you? She sounds completely unstable.

Edited October 14, 2014 by Georgia2014

[Markov23]

So you are perfectly happy being her weekday man while her boyfriend gets her the weekend? Why would she dump him since neither guy is making her pick? You need to gather up yourself respect and demand she pick. Tell her she can't have her cake and eat it to which is exactly what she's doing. How can you live with yourself? Do you not feel bad about being guy #2 which is exactly what you are. I'm not trying to be rude but it's the truth.

 

Also think about this she is probably having sex with him and not YOU. Are you seriously fine with that thought?

 

Here's another thought she is cheating on her boyfriend of three years with YOU. If she did dump him for you how do you know she won't do the same thing with you? She sounds completely unstable.

 

 

 

 

Bro I feel like ****. I mean I'm big and lift and I have a good career. I don't get love struck but when I do I fall hard. It tears me apart when she sees her boyfriend on the weekends. Ya she's ****ing him. Not me and not yet. She said she wants time to think. Here is where I really need your advice. SHE wants time to think about us having sex and always sends

me these questions about if we have sex for say will you still love me this n that. Bro this is a mess and I want her bad.

[Markov23]

Let's say for the sake of argument, she is considering moving on with you. She will be in a state of flux so to speak . . . she will need space at least in order to get clarity and make the leap. Don't get too involved with her children yet. Let her know you're interested, but don't push her.

 

There a song by Lovin' Spoonful . . . Did you ever have to make up your mind . . .

 

There's so many changes and tears you must hide

Did you ever have to finally decide?

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not pushing her at all. I'm trying to get the flow going. Also I wanna implement the idea that I'm better than her boyfriend without ever critizing him. I guess you could say I'm following the boyfriend destroyer tactic. She wants to take one with me. She said I was the first man to kiss her within a week of knowing her because it takes months for her previous what ever to get what they wanted.

[Markov23]

She's had a boyfriend of three years and has children he's never met. She is afraid of commitment. You can't make her life better, she has to do that herself and before she can commit to anyone. Be her friend, do not attempt to advance it beyond that until she has her life in order. You will set yourself up for drama and pain.

 

Now she's introduced you to her children after two months? That's a little fast and the complete flip side of the other guy. She's clearly confused. Step back, I tell you.

 

That's what really got me confused was she's got a boyfriend of 3 years and he's never met her kids. Here I am within almtj I met all of em.

She's considering him to meet em. I see him as not wanting to commit to her so I have no choice but to get her to be mine. Walking away isn't an option. I'm love struck

[Markov23]

She lives about a mile away from me.

Her work is on the weekends in another city bout an hour away. She is developing her own company. She's self sufficient and very organized. Feminine yet traditional. I mean she cooks and cleans. She respects a lot

to the point where I figured out I have a bit more power over her. She findse smart and intelligent and asks me for advice. I can in a way manipulate her actions and thoughts and I've done so a little her and there. What I do for a living well I'm an airforce pilot. Her boyfriend is a scrub. Lol!!

[smackie9]

She lives about a mile away from me.

Her work is on the weekends in another city bout an hour away. She is developing her own company. She's self sufficient and very organized. Feminine yet traditional. I mean she cooks and cleans. She respects a lot

to the point where I figured out I have a bit more power over her. She findse smart and intelligent and asks me for advice. I can in a way manipulate her actions and thoughts and I've done so a little her and there. What I do for a living well I'm an airforce pilot. Her boyfriend is a scrub. Lol!!

 

Dude if you don't put your foot down, she is going to keep doing this "I dunno what to do" song and dance. Stop tolerating it. If she isn't going to make any changes, let her know you are not going to stick around. I let her have complete control of the situation just because you want her bad....that's damn being a doormat talk. Don't let her get away with it!

 

IMO if she can't breakup with this guy, that should tell you that she doesn't feel as strongly as you do.

[Georgia2014]

Bro I feel like ****. I mean I'm big and lift and I have a good career. I don't get love struck but when I do I fall hard. It tears me apart when she sees her boyfriend on the weekends. Ya she's ****ing him. Not me and not yet. She said she wants time to think. Here is where I really need your advice. SHE wants time to think about us having sex and always sends

me these questions about if we have sex for say will you still love me this n that. Bro this is a mess and I want her bad.

 

I'm a woman and I think you need a woman's point of view. Don't give her time to think. She either wants you or she doesn't. She is not thinking if she wants sex with her boyfriend. She just has sex with him. Yet with you she has to think if she wants sex. Dump her get out while you can before you get more involved. She's been around both of you long enough to know who she wants. She's still having sex with her boyfriend. She's made her choice. Please get your self respect together and dump her.

[Georgia2014]

That's what really got me confused was she's got a boyfriend of 3 years and he's never met her kids. Here I am within almtj I met all of em.

She's considering him to meet em. I see him as not wanting to commit to her so I have no choice but to get her to be mine. Walking away isn't an option. I'm love struck

 

I honestly don't think your love struck. It sounds like nothing but infatuation. She's been with him for 3 years and she's considering letting her boyfriend meet them? Yet she hardly knows you and you met them? She is so unstable. Major red flags with fireworks.

Edited October 14, 2014 by Georgia2014

[Georgia2014]

She lives about a mile away from me.

Her work is on the weekends in another city bout an hour away. She is developing her own company. She's self sufficient and very organized. Feminine yet traditional. I mean she cooks and cleans. She respects a lot

to the point where I figured out I have a bit more power over her. She findse smart and intelligent and asks me for advice. I can in a way manipulate her actions and thoughts and I've done so a little her and there. What I do for a living well I'm an airforce pilot. Her boyfriend is a scrub. Lol!!

 

If you have to manipulate her to be with you why would you want to? That is an awful thing to do manipulate her. You sound proud of that. Do you even know what her boyfriend does for a living? She sounds even more unstable if she lets men manipulate her.

[Markov23]

If you have to manipulate her to be with you why would you want to? That is an awful thing to do manipulate her. You sound proud of that. Do you even know what her boyfriend does for a living? She sounds even more unstable if she lets men manipulate her.

 

He's a scrub. A surgeon tech. Ima fighter pilot.

[Markov23]

Dude if you don't put your foot down, she is going to keep doing this "I dunno what to do" song and dance. Stop tolerating it. If she isn't going to make any changes, let her know you are not going to stick around. I let her have complete control of the situation just because you want her bad....that's damn being a doormat talk. Don't let her get away with it!

 

IMO if she can't breakup with this guy, that should tell you that she doesn't feel as strongly as you do.

 

I wanna put my foot down after a couple good rounds of sex. Show her who's boss hehe. That's my goal.

[Markov23]

I'm a woman and I think you need a woman's point of view. Don't give her time to think. She either wants you or she doesn't. She is not thinking if she wants sex with her boyfriend. She just has sex with him. Yet with you she has to think if she wants sex. Dump her get out while you can before you get more involved. She's been around both of you long enough to know who she wants. She's still having sex with her boyfriend. She's made her choice. Please get your self respect together and dump her.

 

She's busy with her company and work and all that's why she wants time to think. She's got all this stuff to tell me and this n that. Like I said she has been with me for 2 months and said its very hard for men kiss her and all so quickly it took the previous men months.

[jellybean89]

You are a friend who fingers her, which is why you met her kids, you aren't someone she is considering a life with.

 

You have no idea what her relationship with the bf is about nor why she hasn't introduced him to her kids. So before you continue to bad mouth a guy you don't even know, you should try to understand that most responsible parents don't introduce their kids to their serious relationship partner until they are sure about where the relationship is going.

 

Air Force? Please. Anyone can do Air Force. FYI - the Navy has fighter pilots. You throw stones at the bf's profession, hope you never find yourself in need of services from someone in his profession.

 

If you have to manipulate someone to like you, that's an issue. Your ego is way overblown and I'm sure she sees it too, which is why you are friend zoned.

[Georgia2014]

I wanna put my foot down after a couple good rounds of sex. Show her who's boss hehe. That's my goal.

 

You are sick plain and simple. No wonder she questioned you on if you would still love her after having sex. Would you want her this badly if she was single? She is a challenge to you. You want what you can't have. Women know men love a challenge it's the thrill of the chase for you guys. You are a very sick man.