FusionCutter Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 thanks man, i appreciate that. im starting to realize how much of a manipulative person she is. I pray that she finds what shes lookin for. Stay strong. Did she try to reach out or did you reach out? You gotta stay strong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 ha get this, 72 hrs into it, i was cured of all sadness, my friend of 15 years talked some sense into me. Next day she reached out, ALL distraught, going to a shrink, moving into her moms house. I remained strong, and said, like previously suggested, "show me the papers" then we can talk. Honestly, idfk why i was buggin' so hard. I actually felt great having walked away. I leave you with this. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 ha get this, 72 hrs into it, i was cured of all sadness, my friend of 15 years talked some sense into me. Next day she reached out, ALL distraught, going to a shrink, moving into her moms house. I remained strong, and said, like previously suggested, "show me the papers" then we can talk. Honestly, idfk why i was buggin' so hard. I actually felt great having walked away. I leave you with this. Did we not warn you this would be her next move? Stay strong, and stop responding. Her contact will pick up and she will come at you hard with all guns blazing. Its all am attempt to pull you back into the status quo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 I am way good, i enjoy having options now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 You think you're all good - but you still talked to her. There wasn't any reason to take her call or see her. First rule of engagement 1) do NOT engage. Silence will tell her everything she needs to know. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 ha get this, 72 hrs into it, i was cured of all sadness, my friend of 15 years talked some sense into me. Next day she reached out, ALL distraught, going to a shrink, moving into her moms house. I remained strong, and said, like previously suggested, "show me the papers" then we can talk. Honestly, idfk why i was buggin' so hard. I actually felt great having walked away. I leave you with this. It's not walking away when you communicated. It's easy to get sucked in. I had to "break up" with MW 4 times before it finally stuck. Get ready for the **** storm. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wideoceanic Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 This is very helpful to read. I was just in a similar situation being the OM. I am in NC right now with the AP. This is good to remember because, my AP filed for divorce from her husband and it should be final soon. We talked about creating a buffer between us for awhile, take time off, let things cool down, but honestly, if she feels like that third leg needs to be there and ends up back with him after we date...maybe it's better I just forget even attempting it. The question is why. Why do people need two more legs?? Isn't one enough? Why isn't one enough? For married women in this situation it can become like a tripod. For her to feel happy it takes both you and her husband. You've removed yourself so there goes one leg. She will feel like her world has imploded and will come back, she may even leave her husband. The problem is she still needs that third leg to stand tall, so then she will leave you and go back to him. I know I keep saying basically the same thing but its important that you understand this so you can avoid it. She loves you, I don't doubt that for a second, but she also loves him, so don't buy that she doesn't and she is staying for other reasons. Simply put she will lie and manipulate to get what she wants. Stay clear, don't allow her to manufactor some BS reason to see you, IE I left something there. Leave it in the mailbox. Link to post Share on other sites
Donesharing Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 ha get this, 72 hrs into it, i was cured of all sadness, my friend of 15 years talked some sense into me. Next day she reached out, ALL distraught, going to a shrink, moving into her moms house. I remained strong, and said, like previously suggested, "show me the papers" then we can talk. Honestly, idfk why i was buggin' so hard. I actually felt great having walked away. I leave you with this. Ahh!!! Love it! Memories! Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Promises were made, none carried through. Last night she said she's not ready to follow through. I told her to leave my house, she went to hug me, I told her "don't f#%kin touch me" she asked if we could talk about it. I said no "there's nothing to talk about, don't ever contact me again" I'm glad that this time around im pissed and not boohooing. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruffian1 Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Promises were made, none carried through. Last night she said she's not ready to follow through. Yep, this is the typical mode of operation by MOW/MOM. You did excellent. Stay strong, ignore her. And you really should tell her BS what she has been up to, he should know (wouldn't you want to know?) what she has hidden and let him make an informed choice about his life also. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Promises were made, none carried through. Last night she said she's not ready to follow through. Yep, this is the typical mode of operation by MOW/MOM. You did excellent. Stay strong, ignore her. And you really should tell her BS what she has been up to, he should know (wouldn't you want to know?) what she has hidden and let him make an informed choice about his life also. Eh I don't want any part of that, I'd rather her suffer in silence, then for her to be free of the guilt by the truth being told. Still pissed today, just being 1 day since, but it's better than being all gutted about it. Indifference is right around the corner, I can feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Golden, I'm a little disappointed that you allowed her to suck you back in at all. Many of us told you she would be back in an effort to get you back in to the same situation. I'm not saying you should tell her husband, yet it will put an end to this whole thing once and for all in one way or another. Not doing so and you really run the risk of a repeat just as you have this second time around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 so what are you going to do different this time so in another 2 months time, you aren't posting again how she has let you down? Did you block her on everything? Have you let her know, not in anger, that you are D O N E??? What are YOU going to do when she shows up again, all apologetic and wanting attention/love from you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Golden, I'm a little disappointed that you allowed her to suck you back in at all. Many of us told you she would be back in an effort to get you back in to the same situation. I'm not saying you should tell her husband, yet it will put an end to this whole thing once and for all in one way or another. Not doing so and you really run the risk of a repeat just as you have this second time around. I know I deserve a big "we told you so" so what are you going to do different this time so in another 2 months time, you aren't posting again how she has let you down? Did you block her on everything? Have you let her know, not in anger, that you are D O N E??? What are YOU going to do when she shows up again, all apologetic and wanting attention/love from you? Idk what I'll do different. I was pretty firm in my words, I don't think she'll be crawling back. She does have a few things here still, if she says she wants to pick them up I'll follow DKT advice on leaving it in the mailbox. I know this time I can't keep getting on the same rollercoaster. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Unless you figure out what you are going to do differently, this pattern will repeat over and over. I suggest you sit down and have a serious talk with yourself on what you plan on doing differently. So, what's the plan? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 I will come up with a plan, have to be strong this time around. Can't let her words sway me. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I will come up with a plan, have to be strong this time around. Can't let her words sway me. The short term pain of accepting the truth is a lot better than the long term pain of believing in an illusion. Just curious. Did you date other women in the past 5 years of knowing her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 The short term pain of accepting the truth is a lot better than the long term pain of believing in an illusion. Just curious. Did you date other women in the past 5 years of knowing her? I spoke to two girls in that time but wasn't intimate. Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I spoke to two girls in that time but wasn't intimate. This woman has blocked you from having a full complete relationship, for 5 years. At some point you have to take a stand. I'm worried that very soon you are going to post in here again. Do you not see a recurring pattern here? Even on the first page you said it was "over" and that was months ago. You gotta look yourself in the mirror and ask what it is truly you want out of life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 This woman has blocked you from having a full complete relationship, for 5 years. At some point you have to take a stand. I'm worried that very soon you are going to post in here again. Do you not see a recurring pattern here? Even on the first page you said it was "over" and that was months ago. You gotta look yourself in the mirror and ask what it is truly you want out of life. I know, that was my bad. I fell for her empty promises and false hopes. I know that I do want to be with someone who is proud to be with me, and not keep me as a secret. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 Just wanted to thank everyone who has followed my story and gave me tough love, I really appreciate it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Just wanted to thank everyone who has followed my story and gave me tough love, I really appreciate it. Take care of yourself my friend. It's no fun to be an OM. There's so much more to life. From everything you described, she will probably try to contact you again. You need to work on yourself and focus less on her. She isn't worth it. Invest in yourself. You've invested 5 years into this - it just isn't worth it anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 I feel cheated out of 5 years that I could have explored other options. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 I feel cheated out of 5 years that I could have explored other options. I think its important that you "blame" the right person for this [YOU] Sure she lied and mislead you, but you ignored all the red flags and moved forward. First by convincing yourself that you were not in deep and it was only sex/fun. Then but going against what you felt and allowing her to snake her way back in. This is 100% on you, it isn't the next young lady you get involved with. She deserves a fair shot and should have to pay for your MW's crimes against you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldenAxe Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 I certainly accept all the blame. I should have been smarter about this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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