Guinevere04 Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 I struggled with him on this for years. We went to marriage counseling for 10 months before I finally left and at every session she would tell him, you realize that you drink too much don't you? He always said he could stop when he was ready. Well he lost me and our two year old and now 6 months later he finally admits that he is an alcoholic. I am so relieved and some of my guilt has subsided because his family blamed me all this time for leaving because they never knew the whole story. I never bothered to tell them because I knew they wouldn't listen to me, he is perfect and I am wrong no matter what I say. He told me that he finally told his family and his program starts today. He said he drinks to keep from feeling sick, not to feel good. Now my worry is that I don't know what to do on his weekend with our son. He never calls to check on him and he only sees him 4 days a month. I wonder if I need to try to get him supervised visitation with the in-laws now that they know. He says that he doesn't drink when our son is there but how do I know, he can't tell on him. If I let him go over there and something happens I would die, plus now that he admits it and I have known it all along, it would come back on me for allowing it to happen. I am so torn now, for trying to protect my son, yet wanting him to have a relationship with his dad that he needs eventhough his dad doesn't try to maintain a relationship with him at all. I just want to do what is right and best. We have been apart 6 months and he refuses to sign separation papers. I think that he thinks if he stops drinking I will come back and that will never ever happen. There is not one ounce of love left. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 I think that he thinks if he stops drinking I will come back That's a pretty common manipulation. Was he OK with your son before the knowledge was out in the open? Was he ever abusive? Even though he did not admit it, you knew all along so if anything were to happen you would still feel guilty. Talk to your attorney about the possible outcomes of filing for adjusted visitation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guinevere04 Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 I did know along but sometimes I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe I WAS blowing it out of proportion. Since he has admitted it and it sounds worse than what I ever even thought it was, I am really scared. OUr son is very strong -willed and hard to handle sometimes. I just fear that he can't handle him if he is trying to break his bad habit. He is not violent very often but I won't say never. He has pulled me down the steps, thrown things at me and slammed the door so many times it wouldn't even shut anymore. Pulled me out of the bed, kicked a hole the door...well I guess as I list them, he could be considered violent and our son could bring out the violence in a preacher sometimes with his temper tantrums. BUt we have been apart for 6 months and he really doesn't try to see him that much so I just don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Talk to your attorney. I wouldn't put my child in a situation where there was even the remotest possibility of harm. Do it legally. If there are any old police reports, or documentation/witnesses of his violent behavior make sure you have copies of everything. Your lawyer can tell you what s/he needs to file for sole custody and no unsupervised visitation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guinevere04 Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 Plus if he is truly in some sort of program, that will be proof that he has a problem (for the courts) and I wasn't crazy all these years. I am hoping that maybe he can visit him while with the grandparents supervision or something. Link to post Share on other sites
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