The Reverend AG Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Here's my situation, maybe someone could give me some insight. I asked this girl out a few times. The first time, she was busy with homework, which was probably true. I waited another week or so, and asked her out again. She said, once again, that she was busy with homework, which was again, probably true. Now, maybe 2 weeks later, I asked her out again (on a Thurdsay). She says, 'Sure'. I tell her that we are going to out on that upcoming Saturday. This seems to be fine with her. I am happy. She seemed midly excited. All is well. I work with this girl on weekends. We are at work on the agreed Saturday morning. She keeps mentioning that she is sick. She really didn't seem like it. We eat lunch together. When I get a minute alone with her, I say, "You know, if you're sick, I won't take it to personally if you cancel tonight". I didn't want to be an ass and make her feel obligated to brave sickness (real or imagined) to go out with me. She then says, "Here's the deal". Oh great. I knew where this was going. Anyway, she continues, "I am already seeing someone at school (we go to different colleges)". I wasn't sure how to respond to this. I never really did. Right after she said that, a few of my coworkers joined us for lunch. The next day, she asks me at work if I was mad at her. I say no, and pass off my obviously depressed mood as a result of never going to sleep the night before (which I didn't, such moods call for all-nighters). And that was the end of it. I am trying to put on a business as usual face when I am around her, but I secretly feel pissed/rejected/depressed. I am pissed becuase, where was the boyfriend four weeks ago? Did she make him up? Is he a figment of her imagination? I feel rejected, obviously, and depressed becuase I still like her. So anyway, I would like to ask of my fellow forum patrons here, what do think? She made some stuff up? It slipped her mind? For the point of maximum information disclosure for more accurate interpretations, and to avoid the standard, "Maybe you are just a big fat loser" responses: -I am pretty average looking -I have an awsome sense of humor (Not to toot my own horn, I have been told by various people that I am the funniest person they have ever met) -I am generally very outgoing -I have many friends of both gender -I am pretty smart, and articulate in my speech Thanks for reading. Have at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 I can NOT imagine anyone saying that it's because you're a big fat loser....!!! Anyway maybe she didn't really ever want to go out on a date but felt bad saying no so maybe she decided to use this as an excuse? Or.........maybe she did want to go out with you (really does have a LTR w/ someone) and felt very guilty after accepting the date and decided to tell you so as not to lead you on?! Either way........rather it be because she wasn't really into you or because she really is involved......you're probably better off not dating her. She should have been honest from day 1 about either having a man or not wanting to date you. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Something similar happened to me once. I knew this girl pretty well, already. And she knew me pretty well. She did over some sort of similar reason, although I had to find out the truth by letting a good friend of my ask. She can have any reason. In my case it was because I was maybe an inch shorter than her. And all my good qualities, which she admitted to, meant nothing anymore. Oh well, I am glad nothing happened with her though ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author The Reverend AG Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by Barby Either way........rather it be because she wasn't really into you or because she really is involved......you're probably better off not dating her. She should have been honest from day 1 about either having a man or not wanting to date you. Yeah, that sounds pretty logical. Too bad I can't explain logic to my gut feelings, eh? Guess I'll just have to suck it up and take it like a man. Thanks for the reponses, guys/gals. Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Man... I hate getting played too. Women can be such bitches sometimes... no wait, all the time. Women think by making excuses they can avoid hurting someone's feelings... but honestly I'd rather have a woman say "I hate you you ****in piece of donkey **** ass - never speak to me again" instead of "maybe." Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 Honestly, if she were REALLY into you she would have dropped the homework and gone on a date. People have the fault of being terrified to reject someone. Simply put, she was too chicken to offend you by saying "You know really, I'm not attracted to you" The boyfriend and homework are probably fabrications. It happens. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 Honestly, if she were REALLY into you she would have dropped the homework and gone on a date. Enough said. But in case it isn't, consider too that even if she has a "boyfriend", if she is more interested in you, she may sneak off with you for a date just to see what happens. Not p.c., but when you get down to it "boyfriends", homework, whatever are all irrelevant. A woman's interest in a man dictates the response, the action, and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 I would say the more likely option is that the boyfriend is real, but she was tempted to try you too. So you *are* attractive. Spock's option is possible too. Or some middle path - she was playing both of you and has now closed the deal with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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