We made it

[Nattie]

Thank you for sharing a few success stories, it's refreshing to see that, once in a while, it really is love. I know a few couples who began as A's, and are still happy in love many years later. Two things they all had in common are-

1. They were for some reason or another unhappy in their previous relationships prior to the A. It wasn't just a random "that grass is greener" scenario.

2. Both parties were equals in the A relationship right from the start. They weren't OW's begging MM's to leave their wives. Everything was always mutual, and both genuinely wanted to be together.

[cocorico]

Thank you for sharing a few success stories, it's refreshing to see that, once in a while, it really is love. I know a few couples who began as A's, and are still happy in love many years later. Two things they all had in common are-

1. They were for some reason or another unhappy in their previous relationships prior to the A. It wasn't just a random "that grass is greener" scenario.

2. Both parties were equals in the A relationship right from the start. They weren't OW's begging MM's to leave their wives. Everything was always mutual, and both genuinely wanted to be together.

 

While I agree with most of this post, I did just want to note that a "success story" can have several different endings.

 

A story of tru love conquering all obstacles? Yes, that's success.

 

An AP treated poorly by an entitled MP who finally breaks away and finds happiness elsewhere - alone or in a new R? Also success.

 

An AP who realises that the A in its present form allows them to live authentically without the constraints of a FTR? another kind of success.

 

While only the first kind are widely trumpeted as "success", other kinds of success can be at least as rewarding and sustainable to others, depending on their requirements and circumstances. Landing up together is by no means the ideal outcome for everybody, and while it's nice to recognise and acknowledge those whose Rs do flourish despite all the dire predictions and ill-wishes of the grumpy squad, it should also be noted that we are not the only people who had "happy endings" or successful outcomes. Others have too, even if theirs look different to ours.