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Isn't it okay to say "no"... ever?


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...And another thing... what is me allowing this behavior teaching my 2 boys?

 

 

I know hubby has talked with our oldest (15) about some of our issues (he said because he was asked), and I don't think adult business should be disgussed with kids unless the details are kept VERY vague. Just based on different things he has told me, I suspect he doesn't make me out to look very good either. Here's an example: In Dec I spoke to a sheriff friend for advice about a marital issue, hubby later told oldest son that I 'called the cops on him' - ummm, huge difference.

 

 

They don't know everything, but they're not sheltered from it either. I know they have heard some of our argueing, even if we have taken it into another room. I know our oldest is aware that porn is an issue, and he sure as hell wouldn't have heard that from me, unless he OVERHEARD it. Does he know other past issues? Does he know hubby has kicked in doors, thrown things? He's definately heard hubby insulting me right in front of them many times. And does he know our newest issue about hubby being a bully (again)? That much I don't know, but what am I teaching them if I put up with this s**t? They'll think that is they way to treat a woman. And maybe that their mom is dependant & spineless. It's the double-edged sword again... doormat if I stay, selfish for breaking up the family if I don't.

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Frye-

 

IMO there is a time to step up and be selfish. It took me a LONG time to get to that point.

 

Also it's not totally selfish if it's going to help your boys develop better relationships down the line. They will grow up to treat women like their dad if that's their only example.

 

I know this is hard and your scared, trust me, I know.

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