roxychickk Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 I've been going out with this girl for a year and a half. it doesnt help that we are both girls and became bestfriends. anyway, like any other couple we fight alot, but we also have alot of fun and really care about each other. we've broken up a few times. but she would brake up with me over stupid reasons for example "you love me and im fat". she once told me she wanted to be with me forever. and then a month later broke up with me. on christmas day we got back together. since then everythings been ok. but, all of a sudden almost 2 weeks ago, she broke up with me again. its been so hard because we've known each other through my best friend and her neighbor. we were basically together everyday. when she broke up with me 2 weeks ago she said it was because she wasnt in love with me anymore but that she loves me and my happiness isnt with her. she also said that she is just bad at relationships and before me she was going out with someone for 3 years and needed to be on her own. but, the things she said to me up until like a week before we broke up were amazing things and really showed that she was in love with me. but, i dont understand how she can go from being in love with me to no being in love with me just like that. she said she wants to be friends. and i told her no, that i want more and she keeps saying she doesnt want me out of her life. it was about 4 or 5 days after we broke up when she told me she was going out or involved with some guy now. she told me that she didnt kno him when we were together and that she meet him a few days after we broke up. but how meets someone and goes out with someone in the time of 4 days? and she throws it in my face like in her profile on aim and her myspace. i want her back but i dont kno how to go about doing it cause everything i tried hasnt worked. i told her i would always take her back and that im always here. any suggestions on how to get them back and what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxychickk Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 I've been going out with this girl for a year and a half. it doesnt help that we are both girls and became bestfriends. anyway, like any other couple we fight alot, but we also have alot of fun and really care about each other. we've broken up a few times. but she would brake up with me over stupid reasons for example "you love me and im fat". she once told me she wanted to be with me forever. and then a month later broke up with me. on christmas day we got back together. since then everythings been ok. but, all of a sudden almost 2 weeks ago, she broke up with me again. its been so hard because we've known each other through my best friend and her neighbor. we were basically together everyday. when she broke up with me 2 weeks ago she said it was because she wasnt in love with me anymore but that she loves me and my happiness isnt with her. she also said that she is just bad at relationships and before me she was going out with someone for 3 years and needed to be on her own. but, the things she said to me up until like a week before we broke up were amazing things and really showed that she was in love with me. but, i dont understand how she can go from being in love with me to no being in love with me just like that. she said she wants to be friends. and i told her no, that i want more and she keeps saying she doesnt want me out of her life. it was about 4 or 5 days after we broke up when she told me she was going out or involved with some guy now. she told me that she didnt kno him when we were together and that she meet him a few days after we broke up. but how meets someone and goes out with someone in the time of 4 days? and she throws it in my face like in her profile on aim and her myspace. i want her back but i dont kno how to go about doing it cause everything i tried hasnt worked. i told her i would always take her back and that im always here. any suggestions on how to get them back and what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
literally anything Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Hey whats up I know I'm a dude an all but I'm gonna give you some straight forward advice which is hard as hell to do atleast emotionally it was for me but in your case I think it's the best thing to do because you havn't done anything wrong it seems like for the most part you know whatchu want in a relationship and it seems like your girl's a lil well more like alot confused about what she want's just for her self, you should check me up on the search and read my post it's different but it sorta relates to how your gf has been acting careless and you don't know what to do about it well anyways on to my advice lol it's gonna be so hard to do but just tell her how you feel be straight with her I know atleast for me sometimes I write it down so it comes out just the right way so she really understands me well tell her how you feel about how's she been acting and how you feel about it seems to me like shes alot more imature then you if shes goin off an on off an on with you like she has been well tell her how you feel and say because of that you don't want to be with her, I'm not gonna lie to you and say she'll definetly comeback and things will be perfect but atleast you'll know that after you say all that to her if she does come back it's because she really does love you and shes sure she wants to be with you and not single some people know what they want and others don't she prob doesn't so give her some time to figure that out if you really honestly think about it you know you won't be truly happy with her until you get the full package and she starts putting her piece of the pie into the relationship and she needs to figure out herself if she can come through with that stand by your standards and be strong and just take it day by day I'm impatient so I know it sucks but you gotta remember you didn't mess up and it's really not your job to be doing al the work let her come to you well I hope this helped in some way best of luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxychickk Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 awwww thanks for telling me what you think. i mean i have tried talking to her. like after we broke up i didnt talk to her for like 2 days and she IMed me and was like "your just going to blow me off like that?" and i was like well i dont wanna be friends with you i want more i want you as my gf. and like i kept telling her you kno ill always take you back no matter what and how long. and like i dont get how within 4 or 5 days of us breaking up she met someone and started dating them. and she said she met him after we broke up. doesnt that sound a little weird? but all the things we used to do and what she used to say to me were alot. thats why i dont understand why now shes saying she just aint in love with me anymore. like shes a really great girl, really nice. but now, shes acting like a completly different person and a total bitch. like the bf she had before me for 3 years ended up cheating on her with her bestfriend and is still with that other girl. and she was heartbroken, and she told me that like i opened her heart up again so she can love again. but im not the one who gets her if i did that? and like i told her that im so hurt that shes with someone already and she just said "im not doing it to hurt you". its seriously driving me nuts. but i do still want to get back with her but i dont kno how to go about it. like am i supposed to cut off all contact with her or am i supposed to stay friends with her? my ex bf told me i could tell her im with him now and see what happens but he said it could also piss her off. she told me when we broke up that like some of its bc i was immature about things and guilted her into things. and i have changed and i told her that i relaized everything i did wrong (which wasnt alot, trust me, i treated her very good). and she was like well its too late, you can learn from this for the future. like she always told me that she was afraid of me leaving her and im so important to her and that she doesnt kno what she would do if she lost me. but she turned around and did this. how do i go about getting her back and why do you think shes acting this way and doing this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxychickk Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 well she does kno how i feel and i think she takes advantage of that. shes with someone now and shes like "if you think im going to realize that i made a mistake and come back to you then your wrong. like i really dont get it. but she has some problems i think like in her head. and she always thought that i would leave her and she would cry and get so upset so i dont get the reason for all this. and i dont kno why shes throwing it all in my face. like on her facebook online under enjoys it says "adam time :)" like what the hell. girls :/ Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 You need to start unwanting her. Telling her you'll always be there is a big mistake. Might as well just hand over your car keys to the neighborhood burglar, since you've already thrown in the towel. Forget all the nice things she said. It's over, and she's walking all over you. Get tough, and show her you're not going to take it anymore. Don't talk to her anymore, period. Easy to say, hard to follow, I know. But you've got to do it. The other option is to roll over and die. Link to post Share on other sites
literally anything Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 haha what a bitch! damn I feel you though my ex was like that I think she had a few screws loose upstairs to I mean what else could explain bein that retarded righ? yeah well hearin all that I would say jus don't mess with her period jus take this time for you keep busy I dunno join a gym see a movie or some mess I know you prob feel alot worse then I can even say but hang in there time really does heal you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author roxychickk Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 yea i kno i should just let it go but its too hard and i still do want her back. even if she does do ****ed up things i still want her back :/ Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Whatever, pal. It's your funeral. Link to post Share on other sites
Kengne Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by roxychickk yea i kno i should just let it go but its too hard and i still do want her back. even if she does do ****ed up things i still want her back :/ Why would you want someone back who does f*cked up things? Don't you feel you deserve better? I know it's easy to say and everyone seems to say that... but it's true! If you really, really want to be with this girl... you need to show her your calm and confident side. Let her know your world doesn't revolve around her, and that you can be happy with or without her (even if you don't feel like that at the moment!). No Contact (NC) is a marvellous tool. It lets you move on (even if u dont want to) and lets the other person move on (even if you don't want them to). But better yet, it gives your ex-gf the opportunity to miss you and realize how much she wants you to be in her life. BY telling her you'll always be there, no matter what she does, she basically has you on lockdown. In her mind "Roxxy chick isn't going anywhere... I can come back IF an WHEN I feell like it". It's basic human psychology: people take what they have for granted. You don't know what you have till it's gone, and people always want what they can't have. Don't make yourself so available. You may think you're helping the situation, but all you're telling her is "I'm desperate! I'm here!". And trust me, that is a turn off. Do you want to turn her off? So my last 2 cents... pick up your dignity & self esteem and walk away. I know it's hard to put in practice... but if you don't put your foot down now she WILL continue to walk all over you. Next time she calls.. don't answer right away. Wait a few hours, call her back and make yourself sound as light, happy & care-free as can be! Don't talk abt your rel'ship unless she brings it up. Keep the conversation short. If she asks you again why can't you be friends, let her know straight up --> she made a decision to end things with you, and you've decided not to be her friend anymore. She cannot control your actions/emotions and dont try to control hers. She can't have her cake and eat it too. Have some self-respect! Take back the upper hand in this situation. K. Link to post Share on other sites
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