Why do some women date felons?

[Natsu21]

Well, I guess the mystery has been solved!

 

There is a disproprortionate number of hot men I prison. Ive heard jokes that theres a conspiracy by unattractive men to lock up the single hot ones. Plenty of men in prison are physically perfect. Its actually really sad.

 

Thats what I was getting at with Roy Slagle. Hes naturally built, tall, and handsome. He also has a lot of criminal tendencies. However, he will be set for life for poon and attention from women. He has a wife(gasp hes married!), and if shes cool having a trophy husband, so be it.Thats the kind of stuff that probably pisses off men on ls. Roy Slagle can get married, but they remain single.

 

People like attractive people. Ls men need to get over it. Im not sitting here wondering why or complaining about men who like Kate Upton. Many of these felons or excons would do well with women even if they had no record. Some men are just attractive whether it be their appearance or charm. I would actually agree with some men that being very attractive to women is very hit or miss.

 

Plenty of

 

athletes

le's

military esp Seabees and special ops

 

are also usually more attractive than general population. Truth be told, men on ls will hate on any guy who is attractive and successful with women.

 

I'm 5'8, short, African American, low-income, and live in the South.

 

If that's not the odds stacked in the dating realm, I don't know what is.

 

So I'll never be a model. I have been an athelete. So I'll never be a criminal, I do know martial arts.

 

So I won't be the most handsome guy in the room? But you know what? I'm not the ugliest. Some girl is GOING to find me attractive. Some girl is GOING to find me irresistible. Some girl is going to go home and go crazy at the thought of me.

 

She might even be doing that now. I don't know, haven't met her yet.

 

I'm not going to sit her and say it doesn't frustrate me. Guys want a hot gf just like women want a hot bf. IT'S PERFECTLY normal. Sheesh, if Candy Pants were here I'd ask her out so fast I wouldn't care if I was rejected. Woman is smoking...phew.

 

It's a double standard. A guy talks about a hot girl, she's suddenly the gift of god. Girls talk about hot guys...he gets the title of "player" off the bat.

 

As if "average" men don't play women.

 

Yeah, I don't understand women liking felons. I know a woman who lied to my face saying she was living with her boyfriend when he's been in prison for 10 years. But frankly, she's physically attractive, but her mental state is a little...eeeeeeeeeeeh. I'd still bang her though.

 

People like attractive people. What is attractive on you, varies with opinion. Most, if not all of us, have had gfs or bfs. If one person was attracted to us, another person will be.

[Natsu21]

Word of caution though:

 

If you stick your hand in the fire, don't come crying for help when you get burned like a hot potato.

[Quiet Storm]

Heres a question. Why should an individual be permanently barred from dating because they have a record? Most people grow out of it as they get older

 

No one is saying they should be barred from dating. But to think a criminal record won't affect your quality of dating prospects is just naive. People judge others based on their actions and choices. Fair or not, it's reality. So whether you committed a crime, had a threesome, got a face tattoo, have bad credit, dated a married a person, cheated on your ex....there is a good chance someone will judge and label you a bad prospect for a relationship. Even if you are different now. This is why it is always smart to think about long term consequences before you do things.

[Taramere]

I don't know anybody (socially at least) who dates criminals, and I haven't dated one myself - but I see them hanging around outside or inside our local courthouse, and there are often women hanging around with them. Most of those women look as though they're probably also involved in criminal or antisocial activities.

 

I do remember when I was at school, a judge's daughter used to boast to me about the hooligan she was romantically involved with, and she saw it as an act of rebellion that made her cool. With more middle class girls/women it might quite often be that cool rebel thing - and I recall being a bit like that myself. I'd say it's a normal thing to go through when you're around 14 (a lot of boys probably also go through a thing for "bad girls"), but I'm presuming that this thread deals with women in an older age group.

 

As far as older women goes...well, if they're very successful and well connected criminals then I suppose it would be the usual "man with power" thing. It doesn't really take a genius to work that one out. If we're talking about a guy in his forties who's in and out of prison for petty offences, doesn't have much of a future and tends to be a doped-out-of-his-head layabout when he's not inside, well...God knows. Maybe there are women out there who find that an easier sort of pet to manage than a dog is.

[Phoe]

Criminal record is a deal breaker for me. The idea of dating a felon is just scary to me. I'd probably feel uncomfortable.

[StanMusial]

Im not looking for approval, this is a debate. Plus, I can speak from first hand experience and not merely speculate.

 

 

Heres a question. Why should an individual be permanently barred from dating because they have a record? Most people grow out of it as they get older.

 

Here we go with the namecalling.

Truth be told, some women date felons or excons, and thejr relationships are just fine, everyday relationships.

 

Ive dated all kinds of men, christian, steampunk, military, computer nerds. Date just one excon, and its enough to come with name calling and judgments.

 

Why do you feel the need to defend yourself? Nobody is calling you names or attacking you personally. So you dated one excon, and you're suddenly an expert on the topic. And even he ran off with another woman. Wowee, ringing endorsement there!

 

I don't really care who you date or who you think is "hot". I just don't think it's a good idea IN GENERAL to spread around the idea that the US penal system is brimming with eligible bachelors.

[Woggle]

The guy who killed Natalie Holloway gets tons of love letters and just got married and he is no hunk so it isn't just about looks. Lets just be honest here and admit there is a small segment of women who the scummier a man is the more she will be attracted to him. Charles Manson is ugly as hell but he was able to get women to kill for him plus still gets tons of love letter.

 

Any man who would date Jodi Arias or Casey Anthony has their head screwed on the wrong way as well.

[insert_name]

Why do women like (sexy football players/thugs/hot men) who are attractive, strong, and make women feel safe? Its a question that answers itself.

 

If that's the case why do they end up marrying Mr Dependable after giving up her fertile years to the characters you mentioned above and then come on LS and whine about it?

 

If they love these guys so much then dedicate your life to them, don't suddenly get buyer's remorse in your 30s and decide you might have a go at settling down with a guy who you obviously have no respect for. Have the courage of your convictions and chase footballers or whoever until your dying day.

 

I think there are a lot of guys who see this paradigm play out and are resentful that the sort of person they are is only useful as a last resort to avoid the inevitable spinsterhood and cat collection. Mind you, if you are going to play that role then you deserve what's coming to you I guess. I have as little respect fr those sorts of guys as the women who use them as their last train out of spinsterville.

[Natsu21]

If that's the case why do they end up marrying Mr Dependable after giving up her fertile years to the characters you mentioned above and then come on LS and whine about it?

 

If they love these guys so much then dedicate your life to them, don't suddenly get buyer's remorse in your 30s and decide you might have a go at settling down with a guy who you obviously have no respect for. Have the courage of your convictions and chase footballers or whoever until your dying day.

 

I think there are a lot of guys who see this paradigm play out and are resentful that the sort of person they are is only useful as a last resort to avoid the inevitable spinsterhood and cat collection. Mind you, if you are going to play that role then you deserve what's coming to you I guess. I have as little respect fr those sorts of guys as the women who use them as their last train out of spinsterville.

 

If I could like this quote over and over again, I would. Cause this is so true.

 

I think hotpotato really likes the bad boys, lol.

[guest569]

They probably dont set out to date crims. Its just love like any other

[Emilia]

I was thinking about this last night when someone I dated once came up in conversation in a pub. He isn't a convict, never committed a crime beyond smoking some pot as far as I know, but he has a lot of darkness in him and is seen as someone very difficult.

 

To me the attraction was that I felt I could be myself, I told him some things I had never told anyone because I felt too ashamed of some thoughts, things I've done. He could completely relate to them though, didn't judge me and as a result I accepted that bad side of myself. I don't feel I have to hide it so much anymore. I still feel I have to hold back a lot when I'm socialising with people, especially when I'm drinking but I'm more at peace with aspects of my personality.

 

So maybe those women have something in them that only men that are similar can understand and accept. Maybe society is kinder to women so they don't end up in jail as easily but a lot of men because of testosterone and how they are socialised, will. I get it. It's not something I'd ever do but I get it.

[GorillaTheater]

To me the attraction was that I felt I could be myself, I told him some things I had never told anyone because I felt too ashamed of some thoughts, things I've done. He could completely relate to them though, didn't judge me and as a result I accepted that bad side of myself. I don't feel I have to hide it so much anymore. I still feel I have to hold back a lot when I'm socialising with people, especially when I'm drinking but I'm more at peace with aspects of my personality.

 

The guys you have to watch out for are those of us who find that kind of barely-restrained darkness at least a little attractive.

[hotpotato]

 

I'm not going to sit her and say it doesn't frustrate me. Guys want a hot gf just like women want a hot bf. IT'S PERFECTLY normal. Sheesh, if Candy Pants were here I'd ask her out so fast I wouldn't care if I was rejected. Woman is smoking...phew.

 

It's a double standard. A guy talks about a hot girl, she's suddenly the gift of god. Girls talk about hot guys...he gets the title of "player" off the bat.

 

As if "average" men don't play women.

Right? Im glad you brought this up because no one has been listwning! Many men will use a wonan for whatever (sex, attention, money), it has nothing to do with having a record. Even guys who portray themselves as nice still will use a woman. A lot of men cheat, but its not as sensational when everyday guy does it.

 

Anything that goes wrong is because hes a felon. If he cheats, its because hes a felon. If he leaves, its because hes a felon. If the relationship ends, its because hes a felon. But...those are all things that happen everyday all day. If youre not batting 100% in this situation, people will attribute everything to him being a felon, or heck, just having a record for drunk and disorderly.

 

 

Yeah, I don't understand women liking felons. I know a woman who lied to my face saying she was living with her boyfriend when he's been in prison for 10 years. But frankly, she's physically attractive, but her mental state is a little...eeeeeeeeeeeh. I'd still bang her though.

 

People like attractive people. What is attractive on you, varies with opinion. Most, if not all of us, have had gfs or bfs. If one person was attracted to us, another person will be.

 

Well, I guess the mystery is solved!

[Emilia]

The guys you have to watch out for are those of us who find that kind of barely-restrained darkness at least a little attractive.

It's a reasonably large % it seems. I think the nicer ones underestimate what that actually means. That's the problem. They think it's hot in a way, especially when they have been in an LTR for a while and things have gone stale at home. They don't realise that it means conflict and discomfort at times if they aren't that way inclined.

[hotpotato]

No one is saying they should be barred from dating. But to think a criminal record won't affect your quality of dating prospects is just naive. People judge others based on their actions and choices. Fair or not, it's reality. So whether you committed a crime, had a threesome, got a face tattoo, have bad credit, dated a married a person, cheated on your ex....there is a good chance someone will judge and label you a bad prospect for a relationship. Even if you are different now. This is why it is always smart to think about long term consequences before you do things.

 

It may hurt them, but that much at the end of the day. Many men with records have wives and gfs who arent inflatable which is more than many men on ls can say. The excon I knew even has a kid on the way. Isnt that the premise of this thread, loser with record can get/keep a woman but I, the nice guy, cant?

 

For some men, its isnt going to hurt them much if at all, esp if hes hot, attractive, kind to women, and doing well for himself.

 

eta: We need to realize that some men will have no problems attracting and keeping women whether or not they have a record.

Edited October 9, 2014 by hotpotato

[hotpotato]

Why do you feel the need to defend yourself? Nobody is calling you names or attacking you personally. So you dated one excon, and you're suddenly an expert on the topic. And even he ran off with another woman. Wowee, ringing endorsement there!

 

I don't really care who you date or who you think is "hot". I just don't think it's a good idea IN GENERAL to spread around the idea that the US penal system is brimming with eligible bachelors.

 

Actually, he didnt leave for a woman. He left for prison. Lol He knew he wasnt stable enough for me at that time. After 5 years, hes doing ok. I probably wouldnt date someone fresh out again.

 

Lets say he did leave. Lets just go with it. A lot of people get dumped or left. Most relationships fail. Thats nothing peculiar to dating someone with a record.

 

This is a debate, and I have more experience than people who can only quote judge judy.

[hotpotato]

Easy. I can speak for most men that the damaged goods are usually the hot ones.

 

Well then these guys should look past a womans looks and date a less attractive female like they expect women to do for them. Problem solved.

[Tayken]

Despite my boyish charmand perchant for tightish jeans i have a story or two....

 

Not to judge, but those words have Battersea written all over it. I have to ask you matey, is the "tightish jeans" protection against the power plant then?

 

That sort of attire will never fly in my neck of the woods back there...East London

[Natsu21]

Tell a guy that, he'll say "But how are we gonna deal with an ugly chick."

 

A woman does the same, he'll be like "That's what she gets for dating an *******."

 

You know who is an *******? Me. Hotpotato, I've dated girls who were taken...one who turned out to be married in the past...and screwed a bartender behind her ex's back.

 

Do I LOOK like a bad boy? Far from it? Am I a felon? Naah, been in jail a few times. **** happens.

 

Truth is, if a girl doesn't want me, nothing I can do to change it, so why not make the best of myself and the girls that do want me?

 

I'm not perfect and I'm not always the best judge of character...I warn girls who want to get into a relationship with me not to get too attached for a REASON.

 

If they do, that's all on them. I ain't playing Captain Save A Chick.

 

Cause I'm not Captain America.

[Emilia]

Easy. I can speak for most men that the damaged goods are usually the hot ones.

That's because a lot of men find 'damaged goods' hot. You can take a woman and make her look like a nice girl: neat hair, modest clothes, flat shoes, nothing expensive or extravagant, polite, quiet, speak when spoken to when around strangers.

 

Or take the same woman and make her hot: put her in a short skirt with boots, tell her to flirt, mess her hair up so she looks like someone who is up for anything, not too neat, not too tidy, not too high maintenance so she looks spontaneous and you can imagine that she might be wild....

 

Lots of guys will go for the latter even though she is the one that's trouble. Could be the same woman dressing up as two different people behaving like two different people and she will get MUCH more attention when acts and looks like trouble.

[Natsu21]

That's because a lot of men find 'damaged goods' hot. You can take a woman and make her look like a nice girl: neat hair, modest clothes, flat shoes, nothing expensive or extravagant, polite, quiet, speak when spoken to when around strangers.

 

Or take the same woman and make her hot: put her in a short skirt with boots, tell her to flirt, mess her hair up so she looks like someone who is up for anything, not too neat, not too tidy, not too high maintenance so she looks spontaneous and you can imagine that she might be wild....

 

Lots of guys will go for the latter even though she is the one that's trouble. Could be the same woman dressing up as two different people behaving like two different people and she will get MUCH more attention when acts and looks like trouble.

 

I like nice girls. One of the girls I'm in a FWB with, she's a nice girl. Sweet, caring, kind, dependable, not bad in bed either.

 

But then I met her sister...her sister is foulmouthed, crackpot, messy and umkempt, yet has a nice figure...is unorthodoxically intelligent, and had this I don't give a damn attitude. We had a battle of wits for a whole day.

 

I like my friend, but her sister turned on my hormones so much I thought I was going to lose it.

 

She was trouble with a capital T, but I couldn't help but to be absolutely drawn to it. I am not always like this, but in that case, it was written on my face.

[FBSN]

I believe the reason is sexual

[FBSN]

It may hurt them, but that much at the end of the day. Many men with records have wives and gfs who arent inflatable which is more than many men on ls can say. The excon I knew even has a kid on the way. Isnt that the premise of this thread, loser with record can get/keep a woman but I, the nice guy, cant?

 

For some men, its isnt going to hurt them much if at all, esp if hes hot, attractive, kind to women, and doing well for himself.

 

eta: We need to realize that some men will have no problems attracting and keeping women whether or not they have a record.

 

Especially if he is good looking

[Maleficent]

Oh the old 'bad boy' VS 'nice guy' debate.

 

Fact of the matter is, 'nice guys' are manipulative, winy and emotional blackmailing jerks who feel we owe them for being nice to us.

 

Let's say I meet two men. The first one has a criminal record and the second one gives me the 'women prefer bad boys' tirade, I'm gonna give the first one a chance.

 

Why? because the second one pretty much flat out told me 'I'm gonna be nice to you so you better be nice to me too'

[Natsu21]

Oh the old 'bad boy' VS 'nice guy' debate.

 

Fact of the matter is, 'nice guys' are manipulative, winy and emotional blackmailing jerks who feel we owe them for being nice to us.

 

Let's say I meet two men. The first one has a criminal record and the second one gives me the 'women prefer bad boys' tirade, I'm gonna give the first one a chance.

 

Why? because the second one pretty much flat out told me 'I'm gonna be nice to you so you better be nice to me too'

 

While the first one says...

"Yeah, I have a criminal record. **** happens." and probably wouldn't be as entitled.