Why do some women date felons?

[Maleficent]

While the first one says...

"Yeah, I have a criminal record. **** happens." and probably wouldn't be as entitled.

 

Well, he could be. Or not. Which is why he gets a chance

[Woggle]

I once dated a woman who was a perfect ten in looks. I lost count of how many fives or jealous stares I got because I was hitting it in their words not mine. She could be a model but I ended up breaking things off with her because she is nothing but drama. She wanted me to commit to a serious relationship and I knew I would be miserable. The point is looks only go so far. Guys who like trouble shouldn't complain when they are divorce statistic or she is sexing the guy who smiled at her in the club. There is a happy medium between prudish little virgin and a woman like the one I broke it off with.

 

The same advice applies to women and hot men. People would avoid a lot of drama if they used their heads a little and dating somebody who is a serial violent offender is not using your head. Somebody who got into a little trouble then cleaned up their act is different.

[Tayken]

I once dated a woman who was a perfect ten in looks. I lost count of how many fives or jealous stares I got because I was hitting it in their words not mine. She could be a model but I ended up breaking things off with her because she is nothing but drama. She wanted me to commit to a serious relationship and I knew I would be miserable. The point is looks only go so far. Guys who like trouble shouldn't complain when they are divorce statistic or she is sexing the guy who smiled at her in the club. There is a happy medium between prudish little virgin and a woman like the one I broke it off with.

 

The same advice applies to women and hot men. People would avoid a lot of drama if they used their heads a little and dating somebody who is a serial violent offender is not using your head. Somebody who got into a little trouble then cleaned up their act is different.

 

Kudos for managing to get "model" and "drama" in the same sentence ...well played Sir

 

As for the comment about looks, remember that looks can also kill. Read into that as you see fit

[Tayken]

Easy. I can speak for most men that the damaged goods are usually the hot ones.

 

"Most men" that don't include me! Only a man that thinks he can't do better, is not educated enough, has a low self esteem, and is looking to play Mr Wonderful, will be the type attracted to a "damaged woman".

 

Personally, not for all the tea in China or my Mum's Shepherd's pie back in London. She makes a wicked one by the way

[Country_Girl]

I'm dating someone with a felony. He used to be a partier/drinker, he got into a fight. He doesn't drink anymore and doesn't plan to.

 

We've only been dating 2 weeks, what can I say, I like him. Why? Well in 2 weeks alone he has treated me better than any previous guy I have met/dated. And I didn't date bad guys either, they just were mostly selfish. I found myself giving and giving, and they would take. I'm not vain or anything, but I've been told I am very attractive. Most men want to 'hit it and quit it' with me, they never want anything substantial.

 

This guy, we've been out 5 or 6 times now. He has not tried to do anything more than kiss me. We talk for hours and he's interested in getting to know me, and remembers the things I say. Most other guys I've dated I've had to repeat myself several times.

 

He's very social and very funny. Gets along with everyone it seems. Point is, I like the fact that he's not trying to jump my bones and he treats me kindly. I also find him super attractive. He says what he means, and the honesty is quite refreshing, I've met some real game players and manipulaters the last few years of dating- and it's so nice for once to meet someone who tells me where there head is at. Other guys I've dated just strung me along, sent mixed messages, and dodged questions.

 

I don't care if he has a felony, it certainly does not define him. That's his past, his future is now. Had I not met him, I probably wouldn't have given dating a felon an afterthought. Probably would have subscribed to the "no I would not" mindset. But I thought about it, and there are some bad people in this world, many of whom just haven't gotten caught, ones who are manipulative and evil- he certainly is not.

 

I am happy to give this guy a shot, he has earned it.

[Emilia]

I like nice girls. One of the girls I'm in a FWB with, she's a nice girl. Sweet, caring, kind, dependable, not bad in bed either.

 

But then I met her sister...her sister is foulmouthed, crackpot, messy and umkempt, yet has a nice figure...is unorthodoxically intelligent, and had this I don't give a damn attitude. We had a battle of wits for a whole day.

 

I like my friend, but her sister turned on my hormones so much I thought I was going to lose it.

 

She was trouble with a capital T, but I couldn't help but to be absolutely drawn to it. I am not always like this, but in that case, it was written on my face.

Of course. Unconventional people are fun, who wants steady slow when you can have the whirlwind?

 

The problem is, you can get used to handling instability and Trouble, if you are not careful after a while it will be your thing. Not a problem as long as you accept that you won't be satisfied by likeable sweet girls and that rollercoaster will be part of your life.

 

I try steady and nice every now and then because I like decent good guys but they always end up trying to change me because they don't like aspects of my personality. I get on with darker guys so much better, it's much more 'live and let live' with them. There is conflict but they don't make me feel bad about myself.

[irc333]

Yeah, a lot of country girls where I live tend to lean towards men who have served time in the county lock-up. lol.

 

I'm dating someone with a felony. He used to be a partier/drinker, he got into a fight. He doesn't drink anymore and doesn't plan to.

 

We've only been dating 2 weeks, what can I say, I like him. Why? Well in 2 weeks alone he has treated me better than any previous guy I have met/dated. And I didn't date bad guys either, they just were mostly selfish. I found myself giving and giving, and they would take. I'm not vain or anything, but I've been told I am very attractive. Most men want to 'hit it and quit it' with me, they never want anything substantial.

 

This guy, we've been out 5 or 6 times now. He has not tried to do anything more than kiss me. We talk for hours and he's interested in getting to know me, and remembers the things I say. Most other guys I've dated I've had to repeat myself several times.

 

He's very social and very funny. Gets along with everyone it seems. Point is, I like the fact that he's not trying to jump my bones and he treats me kindly. I also find him super attractive. He says what he means, and the honesty is quite refreshing, I've met some real game players and manipulaters the last few years of dating- and it's so nice for once to meet someone who tells me where there head is at. Other guys I've dated just strung me along, sent mixed messages, and dodged questions.

 

I don't care if he has a felony, it certainly does not define him. That's his past, his future is now. Had I not met him, I probably wouldn't have given dating a felon an afterthought. Probably would have subscribed to the "no I would not" mindset. But I thought about it, and there are some bad people in this world, many of whom just haven't gotten caught, ones who are manipulative and evil- he certainly is not.

 

I am happy to give this guy a shot, he has earned it.

[Natsu21]

Yeah, a lot of country girls where I live tend to lean towards men who have served time in the county lock-up. lol.

 

So true. Which is why I tend to avoid em.

[StanMusial]

"Most men" that don't include me! Only a man that thinks he can't do better, is not educated enough, has a low self esteem, and is looking to play Mr Wonderful, will be the type attracted to a "damaged woman".

 

Personally, not for all the tea in China or my Mum's Shepherd's pie back in London. She makes a wicked one by the way

 

Yeah, me neither. Or anyone I know. I travel in different circles than these folks. I guess what I consider scraping the bottom of the barrel, is creme de la creme to them.

[Gloria25]

Ok, since someone broke out the 'blue-eyed bandit's mugshot', I think I'll post a link for the guys....

 

Monday Morning Mugshot: Meet Angela Coates, The World's New Sexiest Felon | Crime Feed

 

So, guys, you wanna date her?

 

Lol!!!

[Mister Zen]

Women date felons for the same reason men ARE felons. No morals.

[hotpotato]

I would also say that the felon I dated was pretty ideal except for being fresh out. He is thoughtful and funny. He would never raise a hand to me.

 

He assaulted another man. Ive known and dated other men who got into fights, they just didnt go to prison for it. *shrug*

 

Ironically, the only man to ever raise a hand at me was the Nice Guy!

 

I thought about it, and I also noticed that he has a large social circle.

He has male and female friends. He had a pof profile, and he goes to parties. He meets a lot of people. In short, he is successful for the same reasons anyone else would be successful.

[Imajerk17]

I am concerned about one thing @hotpotato.... when you found out he was in prison for aggravated assault, didn't that bother you?? I mean his victim's life is permanently affected. Just because his victim is male doesn't change that.

 

I mean you were getting to know your ex and you found out that he attacked an innocent with a serious intent to kill. And yet you still continued. Wouldn't you at least be thinking about how his victim was doing?

 

Yes people go to jail for "lifestyle" crimes such as drugs or prostitution but this aint one of them.

Edited October 13, 2014 by Imajerk17

[writergal]

I went out on a few dates with a guy who had a history of drug felonies, which he joked about having. When I asked him why he wasn't in on-going treatment for his drug abuse, he said organizations like NA (Narcotics Anonymous) were only marginally helpful and that he used his "strong will" to beat his addictions. Suffice it to say, I used my "strong will" to stop dating him. I didn't want to have to worry about dating a guy who might start doing drugs again.

[gaius]

I am concerned about one thing @hotpotato.... when you found out he was in prison for aggravated assault, didn't that bother you?? I mean his victim's life is permanently affected. Just because his victim is male doesn't change that.

 

I mean you were getting to know your ex and you found out that he attacked an innocent with a serious intent to kill. And yet you still continued. Wouldn't you at least be thinking about how his victim was doing?

 

Yes people go to jail for "lifestyle" crimes such as drugs or prostitution but this aint one of them.

That's not really how it works. I remember a case where a guy came along a couple in the woods, violently murdered the guy and took the girl as his new mate for the next few days. And she even ended up lying to police when they got back, saying he killed her boyfriend in self defense. When she was in no more danger whatsoever. The programming is to be attracted to the winners not the losers.

[Ryan R.]

Well, I just think it has to do with physical attractiveness. Look at how many women said Jeremy Meeks was innocent, even though he was a felon.

[StanMusial]

I would also say that the felon I dated was pretty ideal except for being fresh out. He is thoughtful and funny. He would never raise a hand to me.

 

He assaulted another man. Ive known and dated other men who got into fights, they just didnt go to prison for it. *shrug*

 

Ironically, the only man to ever raise a hand at me was the Nice Guy!

 

I thought about it, and I also noticed that he has a large social circle.

He has male and female friends. He had a pof profile, and he goes to parties. He meets a lot of people. In short, he is successful for the same reasons anyone else would be successful.

 

POF = Plenty Of Felons

 

Large social circle = His gang and their assorted ho's

 

Goes to parties = Gets stoned with his gang

 

Meets a lot of people = Plans "jobs" with cellmates

 

LOL. This is an entertaining thread.

[acrosstheuniverse]

1) As Carhill stated very well, the characteristics that some felons have (going after what they want, being inventive, not letting anything stand in their way [e.g. the law]) as characteristics that in general are appealing to women. They relate to a man's ability to hunt and provide, I believe. To some women a 'safe, nice guy' is super boring; a felon's life is never dull, he's usually figuring out a way to get what he wants or going through the drama of legal proceedings.

 

2) To some insecure women, a man behind bars is absolutely ideal. He can't cheat, she knows where he is at all times, he is likely to be glad of the contact, it's all a bit star crossed lovers separated. I think this is why a lot of women write to guys behind bars. Plus the whole wanting to save a guy dynamic.

 

3) A lot of the women who do go after or find themselves with felons also don't exactly stay within the law. The partners of many of the men I come across who are behind bars (I encounter these individuals professionally on a regular basis) are either working girls or drug users. Much of the time the women will be working as a prostitute in order to get money for her and her partner's drug use. Not to be harsh, but often the women who go after felons would probably not have a great amount of luck going after 'regular' guys who don't want to put up with a girl who has a drug habit, works the streets or has multiple children already.

 

4) Often they run in the same circles anyway. Many relationships begin during drug users who meet at treatment agencies or in AA/NA and then relapse. Drugs play a great part in felony, in one prison I'm aware of, 40% of newcomers have a drug problems, and 75% of those inject. This lifestyle leads to constant acquisitive crime; shop thefts, burglaries, car thefts. Not all felony charges are for something dramatic and exciting, mostly it's petty crime not huge jewellery heists.

 

5) There are felons who are still with the same women they married twenty years ago who can't bear to leave and sticks by the guy even when he's in and out of jail constantly. Lots of offenders leave on a Monday and are back by Wednesday. I cannot imagine a world where I would decide it was a good idea to have a child with a man with a drug habit who had twenty sentences under his belt but trust me, they don't go without girlfriends or female contact. I would say the romantic success of most felons is far greater than your average guy. It's skewed but it's true.

[Tayken]

POF = Plenty Of Felons

 

Large social circle = His gang and their assorted ho's

 

Goes to parties = Gets stoned with his gang

 

Meets a lot of people = Plans "jobs" with cellmates

 

LOL. This is an entertaining thread.

 

 

Additionally,

 

He has male and female friends = Loads of accomplices

 

he is successful for the same reasons anyone else would be successful = Has got away without being caught, yet.

 

Ok, since someone broke out the 'blue-eyed bandit's mugshot'

 

That will be me GLORIA To answer your question though, I wouldn't "hit that" if she paid me. The eyebrow is a dead giveaway of evil

[hotpotato]

I am concerned about one thing @hotpotato.... when you found out he was in prison for aggravated assault, didn't that bother you?? I mean his victim's life is permanently affected. Just because his victim is male doesn't change that.

 

I mean you were getting to know your ex and you found out that he attacked an innocent with a serious intent to kill. And yet you still continued. Wouldn't you at least be thinking about how his victim was doing?

 

Yes people go to jail for "lifestyle" crimes such as drugs or prostitution but this aint one of them.

 

Afraid? Nope. No history of violence against women. Honestly, after dealing with Nice Guys theres not a lot a man can do to scare me.

Guy wasnt exactly innocent, though im not excusing his actions. I do feel bad for the guy. The guy I dated wasnt intending to kill.

 

We werent seriously dating, only casually.

Nowadays I cant see myself dating someone fresh out. They can turn their lives around and follow the straight and narrow but not 2 or 3 weeks out. >_<

[hotpotato]

POF = Plenty Of Felons

 

Large social circle = His gang and their assorted ho's

 

Goes to parties = Gets stoned with his gang

 

Meets a lot of people = Plans "jobs" with cellmates

 

LOL. This is an entertaining thread.

 

Funny thing is, everything I said he does is the very same advice men on ls receive routinely.

 

Nice guys are too stuck on the idea that girls like men because they are bad. In this thread its cleverly hidden underneath discussions of felons and men who are drunk and disorderly or whatever. Matbe just maybe he has other attractive qualities, and women like him despite his flaws not because of them.

 

Lets call nice guys what they are-Passive Aggressive Guys who are unattractive to women. Passive Aggressive guys think they are great catches, but theyre not. Just try dating someone who is rude, constantly "forgetting" inconvenient truths, cant take criticism because he has convinced himself he is this wonderful catch. No thanks.

 

Lets not forget the anger at women bubbling just beneath the surface. "How dare you eff him and not me you stupid, desperate, low class heaux?" Thats another thing that has been pointed out here on ls...