Recently separated after 20 wonderful years feel so low lonely and lost

[beach]

Of course, go ahead!

[Decisiontomake]

RG. If your wife had had an affair would you want to know at this juncture. And if she told you she had skjmd that close the door on your relationship in your eyes?

[Richiebuoy]

Here we go again .....

[ralfgarnett]

"RG. If your wife had had an affair would you want to know at this juncture.?"

 

 

Not sure I think it would probably set me back to day 1, because it would mean that I have spent all this time in agony for the wrong reasons when she wouldn't of been worth a single tear, why do you ask ?

 

 

"If your wife had had an affair would And if she told you she had skjmd that close the door on your relationship in your eyes"

 

 

Yes it would be 99.9% finished and I would make her life a living nightmare you know my views, but even if she had done that she is still my wife and I would give her 0.01% opportunity to explain and convince me the nature of her actions, why do you ask ?

Edited November 27, 2014 by ralfgarnett

[ralfgarnett]

Here we go again .....

 

Its ok Rich I don't think DTM is stirring it, in fact I think that she means well and could be a great help to us both mate, after last weekend I get the feeling that she and I are developing an understanding, on this occasion I think she is maybe looking at her own situation through my eyes, am I right DTM ?, if not respondez vous sil vous plaits

Edited November 27, 2014 by ralfgarnett

[ralfgarnett]

I discovered that I became happier when I quit feeling sorry for myself that my M ended and I began to live again and enjoy lots of people.

 

Staying in my pity party only pushed people away - they got sick of hearing me complain about it.

 

When I let it go I felt suddenly very free!

 

 

I always feel very free whenever I let go, better open a window someone I just did it again.

[ralfgarnett]

WTF ?, she has mailed me this morning asking if we can go through our wedding box of items from our wedding day this evening, as with most things these days I don't know what to make of it, probably worthless to be honest just another form of breadcrumbs I suppose,

[Richiebuoy]

As i said before Ralph, she does seem interested, maybe looking for a catalyst to inspire her to have another go ?

[Richiebuoy]

Its ok Rich I don't think DTM is stirring it, in fact I think that she means well and could be a great help to us both mate, after last weekend I get the feeling that she and I are developing an understanding, on this occasion I think she is maybe looking at her own situation through my eyes, am I right DTM ?, if not respondez vous sil vous plaits

 

Your probably right Ralph, one of the troubles with this site is that there are so many cynics here that it tends to make you, well...... cynical

[Decisiontomake]

Gentlemen. I promise I am not stirring the pot. You are right RG that I am looking at your situation and mine. I hope you don't mind that. Yes I know your views regarding A's and although every cheater (as we are all bluntly referred to in here - but that's the harsh reality) will say they wouldn't have seen themselves doing it, I'm going to say it anyway. I was with my husband for 21 years before I entered an A and we had had many issues prior to that. Not bad ones in terms of no abuse blah blah, but they were problems that he didn't address even though they had been spelt out. I'm not excusing my action, merely explaining some of my background.

 

You are doing what my H is doing right now - remaining open to the possibility of reconciliation and it seems as though I may be acting similarly to your W (minus the A Richie!), so yes I think we are able to share each other's viewpoints ad I think that may be helpful to us.

 

I hear what you're saying RG re an A being revealed and what that may mean. So can I put it to you from the other angle? If she had an A and didn't tell you but you reconciled and she was 100% committed, invested and faithful to your M for the rest of her/your days, would you still feel it wrong you didn't know?

 

Btw, I am in the US but am a Brit so have been enjoying your humour!

[Decisiontomake]

WTF ?, she has mailed me this morning asking if we can go through our wedding box of items from our wedding day this evening, as with most things these days I don't know what to make of it, probably worthless to be honest just another form of breadcrumbs I suppose,

 

I'm not sure I like the breadcrumbs theme that people utilize on here but I understand it's concept. IMHO she won't be looking at it like that. When I am with my H I feel comfortable and remember what a lovely guy he is. The interactions do give me food for thought, as I'm sure they do your wife. I feel cruel sometimes in that and have expressed that to him, telling him I enhoy his company but am not sure what that means.

 

Btw should you be interested you'll be able to see my own journey to this f'd up juncture, starting back to 2008 with my posts on here.

[ralfgarnett]

"I hear what you're saying RG re an A being revealed and what that may mean. So can I put it to you from the other angle? If she had an A and didn't tell you but you reconciled and she was 100% committed, invested and faithful to your M for the rest of her/your days, would you still feel it wrong you didn't know?"

 

Well as it would be a secret until the rest of our days then I would never find out would I ? so it wouldn't matter if I knew or not as I would be pushing up daisies so I would never know, therefore on that basis I would assume that she had merely reconciled and re-committed which would of course make me very happy and as much as I would probe from time time I would still not about her affair unless of course it was with another woman under which circumstances I would demand a blow by blow account of everything that took place A-Z including photos and videos, have you been at the moonshine already DTM ?

 

"I'm in the US but am a Brit so have been enjoying your humour!"

 

 

Jolly good show old gel, it's all rather spiffing over here in good old blighty don't you know what what.

 

 

Where in the UK are you from DTM ? and what do you miss from home ?

Marmite ?, cod chips and mushy peas ?, best bitter ?, our sense of humour ?, cant think of much more the UK's obviously pretty crap now I think about it.

Edited November 27, 2014 by ralfgarnett

[Richiebuoy]

You forgot Black Pudding Ralph

[ralfgarnett]

Gentlemen. I promise I am not stirring the pot. You are right RG that I am looking at your situation and mine. I hope you don't mind that. Yes I know your views regarding A's and although every cheater (as we are all bluntly referred to in here - but that's the harsh reality) will say they wouldn't have seen themselves doing it, I'm going to say it anyway. I was with my husband for 21 years before I entered an A and we had had many issues prior to that. Not bad ones in terms of no abuse blah blah, but they were problems that he didn't address even though they had been spelt out. I'm not excusing my action, merely explaining some of my background.

 

You are doing what my H is doing right now - remaining open to the possibility of reconciliation and it seems as though I may be acting similarly to your W (minus the A Richie!), so yes I think we are able to share each other's viewpoints ad I think that may be helpful to us.

 

I hear what you're saying RG re an A being revealed and what that may mean. So can I put it to you from the other angle? If she had an A and didn't tell you but you reconciled and she was 100% committed, invested and faithful to your M for the rest of her/your days, would you still feel it wrong you didn't know?

 

Btw, I am in the US but am a Brit so have been enjoying your humour!

 

 

I don't mind in the slightest I welcome and appreciate your input and if we can all help each other then more the merrier,

[ralfgarnett]

Your probably right Ralph, one of the troubles with this site is that there are so many cynics here that it tends to make you, well...... cynical

 

 

Hi Rich that's the problem with cynics, they have a deep cynicism that seems to make them very cynical, flaming sceptical bunch of sceptics, so much scepticism, pessimists are the same, always pessimistic and always displaying pessisim, personally speaking I am a born again optimist with 2 belly buttons to prove it, I am very optimistic about my optimism apart from when im feeling miffed.

Edited November 27, 2014 by ralfgarnett

[Richiebuoy]

Hi Rich that's the problem with cynics, they have a deep cynicism that seems to make them very cynical, flaming sceptical bunch of sceptics, so much scepticism, pessimists are the same, always pessimistic and always displaying pessisim, personally speaking I am a born again optimist with 2 belly buttons to prove it, I am very optimistic about my optimism apart from when im feeling miffed.

 

I agree, also their eyes are far apart

[LifesontheUp]

So what are your plans? and I don't mean what you're having for Sunday dinner.

 

Are you getting out there and doing interesting things to show them what they are missing?

 

Thoughts....................................

[ralfgarnett]

So what are your plans? and I don't mean what you're having for Sunday dinner.

 

Are you getting out there and doing interesting things to show them what they are missing?

 

Thoughts....................................

 

 

Ok well yesterday I bought some self removing underpants, they are French from Paris, today I had tabasco in my soup, and tomorrow I may only may have a bacon butty for breakfast and its not even Saturday until the day after, over to you Richie my man, ok joking aside what should we be doing I have money, good looks, charm, style and breeding, but at 49 please can someone tell me what I should be doing, I would like to do the special white wee wee dance with a nice lass but that aint going to happen unless I pay for it but if I wanted crabs then I would go fishing for them, I am going away again in 2 weeks maybe Spain or Portugal, I would love to go home to Malta but I cant as its too soon for me to go there again, the honest answer on my part is I don't know what to do or should be doing, I know what you mean I should be pulling up trees showing her what a great time I'm having but I don't do b-s and I'm not having a great time, BUT might be doing in a few weeks time with the lovely senoritas or failing that some morally devoid swamp hog from Burnley will do just as nicely, at the end of the day beggars cant be choosers and any way any holes a goal.

[beach]

lovely senoritas or failing that some morally devoid swamp hog from Burnley will do just as nicely, at the end of the day beggars cant be choosers and any way any holes a goal.

 

 

Oh wow... As a woman I had no idea men could reduce a woman's value to so little with such few words.

 

 

I can understand when a man says he's horny but this is beyond any sense of considering a woman to have value beyond being your hole you can place it in.

 

 

Thanks for educating me on what some men think of women.

[ralfgarnett]

Dang I really must dash the first ruddy carol singers of the year are outside and I only have a small amount of ammo in this room with me.

[Richiebuoy]

Well, my wife is 100 miles away and we don't have much contact so not sure how I'm suppose to show her what she's missing.

 

I have however enrolled in a local art class doing 'live nude'.....it was a bit scary at first but I soon got used to it...... though they did have to turn the heating up a bit ..............

Edited November 27, 2014 by Richiebuoy

[ralfgarnett]

"I had no idea men could reduce a woman's value to so little with such few words".

 

 

We don't reduce a woman's value, many of them are quite capable of doing it to themselves on our behalf, or I could of course be joking and you might not have a sense of humour, I thought you didn't do "pity party", I once went to a "pit" party where we all got a lump of coal, and then there was a "pitta" party that was in Greece, and there was the "pittance" party but nothing much happened at that one, oh yes and the "pithy" party where we all brought an orange left a bitter taste in my mouth that one.

[LifesontheUp]

Ok well yesterday I bought some self removing underpants, they are French from Paris, today I had tabasco in my soup, and tomorrow I may only may have a bacon butty for breakfast and its not even Saturday until the day after, over to you Richie my man, ok joking aside what should we be doing I have money, good looks, charm, style and breeding, but at 49 please can someone tell me what I should be doing, I would like to do the special white wee wee dance with a nice lass but that aint going to happen unless I pay for it but if I wanted crabs then I would go fishing for them, I am going away again in 2 weeks maybe Spain or Portugal, I would love to go home to Malta but I cant as its too soon for me to go there again, the honest answer on my part is I don't know what to do or should be doing, I know what you mean I should be pulling up trees showing her what a great time I'm having but I don't do b-s and I'm not having a great time, BUT might be doing in a few weeks time with the lovely senoritas or failing that some morally devoid swamp hog from Burnley will do just as nicely, at the end of the day beggars cant be choosers and any way any holes a goal.

 

Your wife must be mad to have left you Ralfie. After all what more could she want, you can buy your own underpants, make yourself some dinner and even have a bacon butty for breakfast. And you can type too

 

Honestly, its good you still have a sense of humour.

 

Go read Day.One's posts if you haven't already, some good stuff in there for you.

 

Suggest you hang those new underpants on your front door, I'm sure it'll ward off any carol singers

[LifesontheUp]

Well, my wife is 100 miles away and we don't have much contact so not sure how I'm suppose to show her what she's missing.

 

I have however enrolled in a local art class doing 'live nude'.....it was a bit scary at first but I soon got used to it...... though they did have to turn the heating up a bit ..............

 

Nah, pole dancing is the in "thing". You should give that a go, it tones your legs, bum and tum. You can look nice and trim in your Christmas party outfit

 

Like I suggested to Ralphie, have a look at Day.One's posts

[ralfgarnett]

"Suggest you hang those new underpants on your front door, I'm sure it'll ward off any carol singers ;)"

 

 

Thanks LOTU. I did as you suggested but as they are self removing underpants they removed themselves off my big shiny door knob, then again its brass monkeys out there tonight.