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venting about dealing with exMM


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Just need to get this out now as my new guy and I can't talk until later on.

 

ExMM contacted me about something legitimately work related and proceeded to ask if was going to tell his wife that he and I were in contact. I told him that his personal life was his business, that I was 100% out of that aspect of his life, and I have no desire whatsoever to further interact with his wife.

 

Not long ago he made a feeble, drunken pass at me (which elicited no response from me), so clearly his head is still WAY WAY WAY up his you know what.

 

I feel sad because this guy is so pathetic. I know I can't help him with the trainwreck of life choices he is making right now. I guess I'm in the from-a-distance compassionate stage. When I met this guy, he was not as big a dbag as he is now. Back then he had some wild semblance of boundaries. Now when I interact with him, I feel like I am talking with an alcoholic with a wildly broken moral compass. I used to love this man and now I am watching him self-destruct in slow motion.

 

Oh well.

 

Thanks LS for letting me get this out. I feel better:cool:

Edited by HBIC
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To be compassionate to someone you loved, who is spiralling down, you should give him the advice you are writing here instead.

Without getting sucked back in. Seems doable.

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Lovelysweet2
To be compassionate to someone you loved, who is spiralling down, you should give him the advice you are writing here instead.

Without getting sucked back in. Seems doable.

 

Difficult to advise a MM, as he is knee high up in his own sh*t, mix that with their inherent selective hearing only for fluff BS and it always transgresses into a cycle of the same thing~nothing new or newly discovered.

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Thank you for the support! I think it's best to just stand back and let this guy make his own choices. I can feel compassion for him as a human being without risking hurting myself by interacting with him more than I have to.

 

Talking with him feels like such a drain of my energy. I want him completely out of my personal life, so I am going to refrain from getting involved in his. I think that even if I took the time to say something out of compassion, he wouldn't listen. Right now he is pretty hell bent on the path he is on.

 

I can only control me. He is on his own.

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Men never love so deeply as the woman who rejects him. He's probably very happy in his misery. Let him wallow in it. :rolleyes:

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