Asking an ex to meet for coffee? Yah or nah?

[heybecky]

I dated this guy for several months, but a little over a month ago it ended. His reasoning was that he felt we were different, despite all of our similarities that he saw. The thing is, we only really got to hang around each other twice, other than at school and briefly at work, so I don't feel like he even gave it a chance to get to know me. He has stayed in contact with me and stated that he hoped it didn't ruin a friendship. He snapchats daily, occasionally texts and tells me whats happening in his personal life. I could be reading into these signs too much but I just recently posted a selfie on social media, which he liked. He has been commenting on and liking several of my other posts as well. Ive been the dumper before and I don't do that, I end all communication right then and there, for months at least. A week after he ended it he said, "I understand everything you're saying and maybe I just feel that my life is up in the air in general right now." That almost makes me believe its a timing issue and that our different personalities aren't the reason. I want to ask him to meet up for coffee, something low-key and very casual, but Im not sure if its appropriate. Im also afraid of rejection. I would love some advice! What do you guys think?

[Simon Phoenix]

No. He dumped, he fixes. Horrible idea.

[Zahara]

I want to ask him to meet up for coffee, something low-key and very casual, but Im not sure if its appropriate. Im also afraid of rejection. I would love some advice! What do you guys think?

 

Don't chase him. Please. When a guy tells you he doesn't find compatibility with you, regardless of the many snapchats, texts, messages - if none of those messages entail fighting for you or wanting to be with you -- then it means nothing. You're reading into it. And don't compare and project your behavior as a dumper on others. Some people deal with things differently.

[Arieswoman]

Heybecky,

No, no and NO again !

 

He is an EX.

 

If he was really interested in you then he I think would have made time no matter what was going on in his life. However, if he had serious problems and needed 'time out', but he was still really interested in you he could have picked up the 'phone and said something like ;-

 

"Hi Becky, this is Fred here. Do you remember me? We went out a few times and then I had some life problems and couldn't date for a while.

I've got myself squared up now and would love to meet up for coffee sometime. Would you be interested in that?"

 

If all you've heard is a deafening silence then this is a non-starter.