Is this crossing the line? wwyd?

[ComingInHot]

I gotta ask, what kind of human being does this stuff?! And why would Anyone go along w/it?

What an absolutely horrible man! OP listen to everyone here, doesn't matter which side of experience they're coming from. We are all saying the same thing. leeeeave!!*

[the_artist_1970]

This is one of those scenarios that movies of the week are based on. I can promise you OP, if my H had brought his exow into our home on Christmas and I realized that she was porking my H while I was. She'd be cut neck to navel and fed to the dogs.

 

this is one of those 'snapped' cases where temp insanity could be pleaded.

 

please don't let the Married man play you like this and don't let him entice you into a humiliating stitch for both you and His Wife where you could find yourself in danger. Someone who does this is not concerned about your safety.

 

And what if His Wife thinks you are invited for a threesome.

 

just run darlin' fast & far* cause this MM is :bunny::bunny:

Exactly!!! Just thinking about this makes my blood boil. If my DH would have done this I wouldn't be married and I would have surely gone after the xow.

[the_artist_1970]

I've done it but technically it was when we were just friends, before I knew he wanted me. What bothered me the most was that he didn't spend hardly anytime around me when he was the one who invited me, so it was confusing. There were a lot of people and they had two separate dining areas and he did eat next to me while his wife ate in the other room. Then towards the end of the night, he finally sat down next to me on the couch.

If you and him were not involved, why did it bother you?

 

Later on he said he had to act distant with me so that it wouldn't arouse suspicion, it didn't make sense to me at the time because we weren't doing anything, little did I know what was going on in his mind, but what it does is it lets the wife see there's another woman in his life and if you're attractive, she'll start getting jealous and will step up her game to please her husband but then it will taper off and she'll go back to the way she treated him before and then he has to up his game to get his ego stroked again, which was having an affair.

How do you know this? Did your MM tell you this? Of course. You believe everything he tells you because he is a man of good character.

 

Don't do it if you don't want her to get jealous and start accusing him of cheating. Or do it just to see if she really loves him and then you'll know if you need to leave him alone or not. I have empathy for the wives who truly love their husbands, I don't for the ones who take their husbands for granted and treat them poorly. You will know first hand which category she falls into by watching her interact with him, not by what he tells you.

 

It really amazes me that you think you can tell from a couple of interactions what kind of marriage MM and his wife have. You have allowed MM to convince you of something you absolutely have no way of verifying what he says is true. He's a liar and a manipulator and you and his wife are ponds in his sick game. One day you will be dumbfounded and the target of his wife's wrath when she finds out that you were around her family and in her home while sleeping with her husband.

[ComingInHot]

It really amazes me that you think you can tell from a couple of interactions what kind of marriage MM and his wife have. You have allowed MM to convince you of something you absolutely have no way of verifying what he says is true. He's a liar and a manipulator and you and his wife are ponds in his sick game. One day you will be dumbfounded and the target of his wife's wrath when she finds out that you were around her family and in her home while sleeping with her husband.

 

 

Or worse... BW could have so much anger towards you she could GIVE you Her Husband.

...I didn't hate the exOW THAT much! but I did kick out exWH and told him to have at her

[gettingstronger]

I guess you should also consider how you have arrived at a place where you have no one but MM to spend the holiday with- are you over invested in this relationship to the point where you have excluded others- you say you live together- does he live with you or you with him or 50/50 split in bills etc..- he appears to be away on assignment- are you a local that provides a soft landing while he is in town and away from his family- what is your status and how will this play out for your life in the long run-

 

In short, look after you-

[Redheaded Mistress]

I had Thanksgiving and New Year's with the man I was having an affair with and his family. The circumstances were a bit different, but I wouldn't ever do that again and I'd suggest nobody else do it either. Absolutely, positively nothing good can come from it.

[pigsonthewing]

Thanks for the responses. To clarify, I wasn't asking whether or not you would go (I would never), but was curious what you would think or how you would react to such a request.

 

We work together and live on site at work. So far he has been good about wanting these lives separate, and then this request.

 

As to why I don't have any holidays to go to... my family is spread all over and most do their own thing during the holidays. I have no immediate family, really, and I usually stay out and work so that another coworker who does have a family can go home for the holiday. I've always done this.

 

Thank you for the various perspectives. I would never go into this woman's home and eat at her table knowing I'm sleeping with her husband. Actually I have been contemplating ending this because the guilt is stifling at times. But being that we live/work together it is difficult. He just got assigned here to be with me a few months ago and it's very difficult to get reassigned after such a short time. The powers that be frown upon it.

[CarrieT]

Actually I have been contemplating ending this because the guilt is stifling at times. But being that we live/work together it is difficult. He just got assigned here to be with me a few months ago and it's very difficult to get reassigned after such a short time. The powers that be frown upon it.

Then this is great impetus to end it.

 

You can explain to him that his request put the entire situation into perspective for you and that because you can't get re-assigned, you need to end the affair and look forward.

 

Tell him you need to protect your heart and that you are much better off alone than having someone try and hurt you the way he has.

[EverySunset]

I just went back and erased my post. I was way more honest than you'd be ready to hear, because I actually WAS that unsuspecting sweet wife that put my Stbxh 's ExOW up on the holidays before I knew.

 

Please leave this man alone. Scary unpredictable things can happen with this kind of powder keg situation.

 

Because even the nicest betrayed spouse can snap. Completely off.

 

Thanks for the responses. To clarify, I wasn't asking whether or not you would go (I would never), but was curious what you would think or how you would react to such a request.

 

We work together and live on site at work. So far he has been good about wanting these lives separate, and then this request.

 

As to why I don't have any holidays to go to... my family is spread all over and most do their own thing during the holidays. I have no immediate family, really, and I usually stay out and work so that another coworker who does have a family can go home for the holiday. I've always done this.

 

Thank you for the various perspectives. I would never go into this woman's home and eat at her table knowing I'm sleeping with her husband. Actually I have been contemplating ending this because the guilt is stifling at times. But being that we live/work together it is difficult. He just got assigned here to be with me a few months ago and it's very difficult to get reassigned after such a short time. The powers that be frown upon it.

Edited October 9, 2014 by EverySunset

[Michelle ma Belle]

Looks like you got yourself a real winner.

 

Congrats.