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The NC is work.


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Finally initial the NC in this May, and the first three months is like a hell. start used to it and start accept the reality at forth month, and now is the fifth month, I miss him less and start dating.

 

I think my heart is start open to others because now most of the time I live the life positive and think about the new guy I meet instead xMM. I start feel life still good and I am looking forward what life bring. I can feel peaceful and seldom crying when I am alone.

 

I think I still love this man but somehow not feel too bad that we can't be together. NC is good because it can let you see whole thing by more objective way. I don't hate him anymore. my improvement is really faster than I thought, I feel so proud myself.

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I recall reading some of your stuff early in the summer and thinking "man she sure has low self esteem, no way she will break free" now this update. Good for you. Does he try to contact you?

 

The things that really stuck with me are comments you made 1) that you never thought you could find anyone that would love you like he does because you weren't young and attractive. 2) even if you did and you got married to someone else you would feel like your missing something. Not direct quotes because I'm too lazy to look back and find it.

 

Do you still feel those things?

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I recall reading some of your stuff early in the summer and thinking "man she sure has low self esteem, no way she will break free" now this update. Good for you. Does he try to contact you?

 

yes, he did try to contact me several times by phone and mail.

but I neither pick up the phone nor write back,

so finally he stop it.

 

The things that really stuck with me are comments you made 1) that you never thought you could find anyone that would love you like he does because you weren't young and attractive.

 

I think the thought above did let me cannot get thought this affair for a long time. because if he is not marry, than I definetly want to marry him. I love him and he treat me very nice and let me feel loved too, and it's strong intensity I never had. I think the chance that I will meet someone like him in future is low, I still think in this way, but now I can more accept the fact that the world is not perfect and you cannot always get what you want. I don't expect I could meet "another him", but I wish I can meet someone who treasure me and I also have same feelings to be with, than it will be great.

 

2) even if you did and you got married to someone else you would feel like your missing something. Not direct quotes because I'm too lazy to look back and find it.

 

Do you still feel those things?

 

before I really think in this way. I start really date someone last few weeks, I start really open the heart to other. and I find out actually I have ability to love and feel other. I don't have boyfriend now, but when the first time I find out I have ability to love and feel other, I really feel happy, because I can love an available man instead someone's man.

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Lovelysweet2

I am glad so many are doing well with NC! It has been much easier than I thought, after 3 years, my anger, my hate is equivalent to if he killed my entire family, was hoping for indifference, but I am thinking the anger remaining maybe a great thing! I have no want or need to contact the bastard. :) Well, scratch that, gives the bastard too much power. It is less than that, but he makes my skin crawl and every hair fiber stand up at my thought of him. I hope it gets easier for you, sets your mind free.

Edited by Lovelysweet2
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