mikev123 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Hey guys, I recently just got back from a couple of drinks with my ex and I have to say... It seemed to go really well. We didn't talk about our past relationship at all, except for the odd good memory and jokes we used to have and just had a good couple of hours catching up. My only question is, towards the end she was saying she was glad it wasn't awkward at all and that we can be nice to each other. I asked whether she wanted to do something like this again and she said 'yeah. not right way, but I would'. I mean, is this a good start? Just leave it a week or 2 and ask again, take it slow? Think there might be a chance here? Thanks for any advice Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 She broke up with you I'm guessing. If so, then she needs to do almost all of the work. So no, you should not ask her out again. If she wants to do it again, she'll let you know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 A good start to what? It's a great start to being able to be civil. Only she knows whether it means she wants to get back together with you. If that is your goal, make certain that all of the issues which drove you apart have been addressed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mikev123 Posted October 8, 2014 Author Share Posted October 8, 2014 Yeah she did break up with me, she's been messaging me and stuff lately and matched with me on a dating site. I know you're right, I get the feeling she wants to be with me in the future, but not right away. Hence the 'yeah. not right way, but I would'. I can't put my life on hold for that. But it's so hard with the mixed messages :/ Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 When you get mixed messages, accept the negative side as gospel & dismiss the positive as wishful thinking on your part. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 You're on the back burner I'm afraid. Especially if she's on a dating site as well. I would keep my distance and maybe chat with her, but don't make the first move. Think she has her eye on other fish. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 When you get mixed messages, accept the negative side as gospel & dismiss the positive as wishful thinking on your part. This is one of the best things I've seen written on this site. Link to post Share on other sites
Fix Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Let her do all the initiating, and as hard as it is don't invest emotionally in any way. If you find yourself getting those old feelings back then snap out of it fast because that will in all probability lead to more pain later on down the line. Don't contact her first, and if you don't want her as a friend but as a partner then don't act as one. No chatter, no being there for her to emotionally unload on and 100% no letting her talk about other guys with you. If you see her again then treat it as a date, not as a catching up session. Flirt, have fun, make it clear what you want. If you go into it being friendly and nice and reliable then that is all she will see you as. You have to show her that you have changed, that you are a desirable man and that you are sexual interested in her. If you play the part of sweet puppy dog she will treat you as such. I am not saying be a d-ick, or be overly aggressive but I am saying show her what you really want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mikev123 Posted October 8, 2014 Author Share Posted October 8, 2014 Thank you for the replies everyone, made me realise I can't put all my eggs in this basket. I think I'm going to carry on with the dating scene and just not send her any messages or anything. If she contacts me I'll reply, but she can't be my priority. I get the feeling there's a possibility I'm being strung along... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 what was her reason for breaking up with you?? Link to post Share on other sites
Fix Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Thank you for the replies everyone, made me realise I can't put all my eggs in this basket. I think I'm going to carry on with the dating scene and just not send her any messages or anything. If she contacts me I'll reply, but she can't be my priority. I get the feeling there's a possibility I'm being strung along... Exactly what you should do. Talk to her if she contacts you, but also carry on with any other girls you have an interest in. Link to post Share on other sites
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