ww Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 ...and than it happens... you wake up and nothing is like it was before. You lose those pink rose glasses and start seeing things for what they are - were. It`s such a bad feeling. You hate yourself for being so blind and stupid. You still have mixed emotions regarding your ex MM. You miss that feeling of being attractive to someone. You miss that high tensed emotions ( seems like being drug addicted ). But on the other hand you hate MM for treating you like a piece of ****. And you are 100% positive you wouldn`t take him back, but you still missing that certain thing. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez it`s so hard. Help with your advice on how to stay strong people , please. I know I am almost there on final stage when I will wake up and my heart will be full of beautiful things and won`t even think about that ugly period of my life. I just don`t want to break down and start it all over again. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 "You hate yourself for being so blind and stupid." You shouldn't hate yourself at all. Move on and learn from your mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
liswil Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Yeah, mine seemed like a great guy--affectionate, compassionate, loved to please a woman, etc..... Lately things have started to get physical with us and I'm getting the impression that he's totally selfish. I was thinking "no wonder his wife isn't that into sex." (why don't guys ever get what's behind a woman losing interest in that?) The other day I told him about this guy I dated about a year ago who didn't like oral sex and how it got to be (to me), like why bother (since the sex was awful) and MM said "well, sex isn't everything." While I agree with him, it also told me that he's probably not made his wife too happy in that dept. either. And that's just one area. I can also see how he's selfish in other areas. You know, the other day when talking to him, I was thinking how he didn't even look all that attractive as before. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 "You know, the other day when talking to him, I was thinking how he didn't even look all that attractive as before." This is the "Internal Rejection" phase. Link to post Share on other sites
liswil Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 What do you mean? This will sound really superficial, but it doesn't appeal to me much when a guy has a saggy neckline. The other day while I'm talking to him, I'm noticing his saggy neck. I know---that sound really bad.......... Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 ww.... you're getting there. baby steps at first until you're ready to risk taking that big leap off the edge into the unknown of life without MM!!! there will be times when you'll take a step or two back from the cliff wondering if you're making the "right" choice to leave. wondering how it will be when you've let go and being afraid of that empty space that may be left behind. but with each step back you'll regroup and take two steps forward!! you can do it, you know the peace and comfort that will finally exist when he's gone and you're free to let someone else in. i still care about MM but have come to the realization that i always will. difference is that now, finally, i feel like i'm starting to be able to "assign" him to a spot in my mind and heart where he doesn't interfere as much with the rest of what's going on in my life. i wanted to hate him, to forget him completely but finally realized, for me, that i was spending way too much time and energy on that and it took less energy for me to just leave him there but with a lot less focus. Link to post Share on other sites
newby Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 i know what you mean ww, i'm getting to the point where im thinking maybe the pain is preferable to what i had before i got into it, because it was the extreme lonliness now im thinking ok so when i'm over him i'll be back there again, oh noooo! it is not always so easy to fill the void when the void was already there and not actually created by the mm so i decided well i know what was there before and i really needed something for me then, thats why it was so easy for him, so work on that thing, work on whatever it was that made you so hungry for someone to rescue you, to love you i think during the relationship i never gave up working on that stuff but now it is even more important i am just saying how it was for me/is for me. i know we all get in for different reasons but i find it hard to believe that we werent ALL in desperate need of something Link to post Share on other sites
Author ww Posted March 10, 2005 Author Share Posted March 10, 2005 and than it comes to the point of switching from : GOD I MISS HIM....NO I DON`T.....HE WAS SO GOOD.....JEEEEEZ WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING....HE IS SO CUTE....YUCK HE MAKES ME SICK....and so on. But the main thing is when you think of all that happened and ask yourself DO I MISS HIM THAT MUCH TO TAKE HIM BACK IF HE EVER COMES BACK? you come to sincere answer that shoots out directly from your heart and it goes like this :NO (plain and simple) and the most beautiful thing about it is :YOU REALLY MEAN THAT! ... ..soon there will come days when i won`t even think about him anymore.....i can feel it coming Link to post Share on other sites
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