mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 New on this board. Need a sanity check from you guys. I met this guy on match 3 months ago. Because I am 8 years older, so I never expected anything when I first met him, but we did end up liking each other. But there are things he does that makes me question a lot. One big thing is he is constant on social media, texting from people middle of the night, which he claims is from his mother from overseas. He is also on coffee meets bagel, which he claims to be only for friendship purpose and snapchat with only girls. He was not longer on match after we got together. I naturally grew suspicious and told him, he should at least have the curtsy to turn chat off when he is with me. But then he takes his phone to the bathroom, for 20 minutes at a time...He also tells me things like "is it ok if my x visits me?". Btw, he is on chat with his x all the time. I got pissed, he said I overreact and is overbearingly suspicious. Other than this, he never keeps his words. He said he wants to drive me to the airport for my trip, and several days before my trip and I asked about it, he wants me to pay gas and toll if I want him to go. Whatever he says has to be discounted for 80%. Help me out here. Am I crazy or do I have a reason to not trust him and be suspicious. Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I think you know the answer. Trust your intuition. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Are you sure you ended up liking each other? Sounds like you like him, but I'm not real sure about the other direction. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 Are you sure you ended up liking each other? Sounds like you like him, but I'm not real sure about the other direction. he is the one who chased me first. I didn't like him as much. He tells me he likes me a lot but did these things which gives me no security... Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I guess it is always easier to see when you're not in the middle of it. What you've described sounds like a one-way street. Next time he disappears into the bathroom to text, try disappearing. You need to get yourself a new boy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jules Dash Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Only eight years difference? You must be 23 and he must be 15 years old. He acts like a immature HS kid. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 OP, I dont think that he cares about you that much Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 OP, he's not into you the way you are into him. Move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Hold on, I'll tell you what I think, but I'm going to take my phone into the bathroom for 20 minutes and talk to more important people first... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 Only eight years difference? You must be 23 and he must be 15 years old. He acts like a immature HS kid. Are 25 year olds all like that? He is 25, I am 33. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisisIt606 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 he is the one who chased me first. I didn't like him as much. He tells me he likes me a lot but did these things which gives me no security... Sounds like he chases a lot of girls and keeps multiple ones on a leash. it's one thing to be dating, and dating mult people but it's another thing to be flaunting it in someone's face (ie taking phone to the bathroom and asking if its ok to hang out with an ex) He seems to want to have his cake (mult varities) and eat it too. DOn't be an option to him. he seems to have loads to fall back on anways. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisisIt606 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Are 25 year olds all like that? He is 25, I am 33. Well with an age difference like that there is definitely a difference in social media use. Usually the younger one is more skilled/obsessed/social media ingrained in their life (whatever you want to call it) than the older person. Purely bc they grew up with it and it's always been there for them. However there is a difference between being heavily involved in social media accounts and being a jerk about it/flaunting it for attention. he sounds immature and wants to "let you know" he has lots of attention from different girls. Cut your loses on this one. He seems very young and hasn't a clue what he wants yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 He sounds like a loser who has no respect. I don't know if I'd be jealous of any other women but I'd probably feel sorry for them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 New on this board. Need a sanity check from you guys. I met this guy on match 3 months ago. Because I am 8 years older, so I never expected anything when I first met him, but we did end up liking each other. But there are things he does that makes me question a lot. One big thing is he is constant on social media, texting from people middle of the night, which he claims is from his mother from overseas. He is also on coffee meets bagel, which he claims to be only for friendship purpose and snapchat with only girls. He was not longer on match after we got together. I naturally grew suspicious and told him, he should at least have the curtsy to turn chat off when he is with me. But then he takes his phone to the bathroom, for 20 minutes at a time...He also tells me things like "is it ok if my x visits me?". Btw, he is on chat with his x all the time. I got pissed, he said I overreact and is overbearingly suspicious. Other than this, he never keeps his words. He said he wants to drive me to the airport for my trip, and several days before my trip and I asked about it, he wants me to pay gas and toll if I want him to go. Whatever he says has to be discounted for 80%. Help me out here. Am I crazy or do I have a reason to not trust him and be suspicious. The fact that you are asking this question, means you already don't trust him. This is your gut telling you something. This is your brain telling you something: "he never keeps his words", Whatever he says has to be discounted for 80%". Tell him you will find another ride to the airport and that he will not be seeing you again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 he is the one who chased me first. I didn't like him as much. He tells me he likes me a lot but did these things which gives me no security... It does not matter how much he pursued you. Right now, in this relationship, he is acting shady and disrespectful. Shady and disrespectful is unacceptable at 18, 25, 30 or 60 years old. Why you're sticking around? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunfire73 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 ... Because I am 8 years older, so I never expected anything when I first met him, but we did end up liking each other. This, you didn't expect anything, so he's not giving you anything. Are you expecting anything now? If you do, then you need to tell him. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Just because he pursues you doesn't mean he is relationship material. No not all 25 year olds are like this. He is acting like a 16 year old, oblivious to boundaries, not respecting you.....he's immature. Obviously he isn't YOUR type, and doesn't fulfill your relationship expectations. Ditch him and keep looking. No guy like this is worth putting your dignity on the line for. Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 New on this board. Need a sanity check from you guys. I met this guy on match 3 months ago. Because I am 8 years older, so I never expected anything when I first met him, but we did end up liking each other. But there are things he does that makes me question a lot. One big thing is he is constant on social media, texting from people middle of the night, which he claims is from his mother from overseas. He is also on coffee meets bagel, which he claims to be only for friendship purpose and snapchat with only girls. He was not longer on match after we got together. I naturally grew suspicious and told him, he should at least have the curtsy to turn chat off when he is with me. But then he takes his phone to the bathroom, for 20 minutes at a time...He also tells me things like "is it ok if my x visits me?". Btw, he is on chat with his x all the time. I got pissed, he said I overreact and is overbearingly suspicious. Other than this, he never keeps his words. He said he wants to drive me to the airport for my trip, and several days before my trip and I asked about it, he wants me to pay gas and toll if I want him to go. Whatever he says has to be discounted for 80%. Help me out here. Am I crazy or do I have a reason to not trust him and be suspicious. Yeah you are not a crazy jealous bitch and he sounds like an immature knob. He did ask you if his ex could visit him though which could be a sign of integrity. But the texting other girls constantly even in your presence and the phone in the bathroom is pretty lame regardless of what he might be up to. My guess is you are 8 years older than him, and he is texting girls that are 4 years younger than him. Test him. Say to him, hey you are texting this ex all the time, you guys must be great friends. How about we have her over to my place for some drinks and movies. If he is overjoyed then hes not messing around. If he squirms you have your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 I forgot to mention the fact that I pay for everything 90% of the time. I have been asked to pay for gas, groceries, parking, and when meal check arrives, he will often say, can you get this first, I will pay you back later, which he never does. We are talking about $80 per person meals here. He of courses posts pictures of these fancy dinners on Instagram. He is currently unemployed but went ahead to lease a 60k Mercedes and eats instant noodles otherwise to save up for the payment. He also spends hundreds on skin care and is getting a nose job. Yeah...I think I am crazy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I forgot to mention the fact that I pay for everything 90% of the time. I have been asked to pay for gas, groceries, parking, and when meal check arrives, he will often say, can you get this first, I will pay you back later, which he never does. We are talking about $80 per person meals here. He of courses posts pictures of these fancy dinners on Instagram. He is currently unemployed but went ahead to lease a 60k Mercedes and eats instant noodles otherwise to save up for the payment. He also spends hundreds on skin care and is getting a nose job. Yeah...I think I am crazy. Um yeah, he's taking you for a ride Sugar Momma 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I forgot to mention the fact that I pay for everything 90% of the time. I have been asked to pay for gas, groceries, parking, and when meal check arrives, he will often say, can you get this first, I will pay you back later, which he never does. We are talking about $80 per person meals here. He of courses posts pictures of these fancy dinners on Instagram. He is currently unemployed but went ahead to lease a 60k Mercedes and eats instant noodles otherwise to save up for the payment. He also spends hundreds on skin care and is getting a nose job. Yeah...I think I am crazy. I'm sorry but why did you want to date this guy again? He's a complete Loser! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I forgot to mention the fact that I pay for everything 90% of the time. I have been asked to pay for gas, groceries, parking, and when meal check arrives, he will often say, can you get this first, I will pay you back later, which he never does. We are talking about $80 per person meals here. And you just do it ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 And you just do it ??? well, I thought he would pay me back, because I'd always pay people back, and I make a lot more than he does and don't want seem stingy, but it still bothers me I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 We are talking about $80 per person meals here Where is it that you are eating, and what kind of food is it that is costing $80 / person on one outing? May I recommend cooking at home for a change, or picnic at a park? I can use that $80 to cook dinner for different dates, which will mean 4x the fun for me, without having to tip and in the comfort of my own home. Dining out should just be a once in a Blue moon thing, "cheap Tuesdays" should be the day you go see movies (if you must). Just sayin' Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 You sound like a real catch, OP. You pay the tab, you catch the grocery bill, gas, parking and even rides to the airport. What's more, you let him give attention to other girls. Probably give him sex too. I'd probably date you if I was him. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts