beyondcrushed Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Are 25 year olds all like that? He is 25, I am 33. Not all, but age is not a factor. Some 40 somethings are....exactly....the...same. Get rid of him asap. You'll be happy you did. He's using you. Edited October 9, 2014 by beyondcrushed Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 However there is a difference between being heavily involved in social media accounts and being a jerk about it/flaunting it for attention. he sounds immature and wants to "let you know" he has lots of attention from different girls. Cut your loses on this one. He seems very young and hasn't a clue what he wants yet. Totally. I was dating 9 girls simultaneously, they all knew that I was seeing other people. Yet I always had the respect to switch notifications off on my phone, put it off to the side and give the girl I was with my complete and undivided attention. I even flip it upside down so the flashing red notification light on my blackberry didnt distract me. If SHE goes to the bathroom, I might quickly check to see if I got any texts, if they were important, and maybe notify one of the girls that I was busy and would text them back later, but absolutely no back and forth. The guy is rediculous. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Zowie! You have trouble find a BF? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 Zowie! You have trouble find a BF? I am not sure....I am not ugly... Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I am not sure....I am not ugly... Sadly, I think you believe this all you deserve. Possibly bending over backwards because you want this guy to like you and treat you right. It has nothing to do with whether you can find guys/or not or what you look like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 Sadly, I think you believe this all you deserve. Possibly bending over backwards because you want this guy to like you and treat you right. It has nothing to do with whether you can find guys/or not or what you look like. I guess logically I know this guy has his priorities all wrong, the car, the spending and the plastic surgery., all prestancre...emotionally I just can't help but feeling down... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I guess logically I know this guy has his priorities all wrong, the car, the spending and the plastic surgery., all prestancre...emotionally I just can't help but feeling down... Wait...what? He had plastic surgery? People crack me up thinking that they can fix what's wrong on the inside by fixing up the outside. It very rarely works. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 Wait...what? He had plastic surgery? People crack me up thinking that they can fix what's wrong on the inside by fixing up the outside. It very rarely works. he is getting a nose job scheduled for in a few months. His mom is paying for it. Nose job is just a start. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I guess logically I know this guy has his priorities all wrong, the car, the spending and the plastic surgery., all prestancre...emotionally I just can't help but feeling down... Well, unfortunately you're not a priority to him. Everything else comes first, and then somewhere at the bottom of the list you hover -- when he needs something from you. Anyone would feel down when in a situation like yours. I'm sure deep down you realize that you deserve better and that this guy really isn't into you but moreso what he can get from you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I never insinuated you were unatractive. What I meant was you may have very little sucess finding a BF or have little experience. You don't have to be ugly to not attract guys. If you are not socialble, don't put yourself out there or make effort to be sexy can be contributing factors. I just say it because most would not up with this vain trollop of a man. Everyone is saying you can do better and I tend to agree. What we want to know is why, why did you choose to say yes to dating him, and why were you willing to do all this for someone who is acting sketchy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 And why do you have to question your attitude about his behavior? Asking us if how you feel is out of place makes us wonder..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 And why do you have to question your attitude about his behavior? Asking us if how you feel is out of place makes us wonder..... I have been single for almost more than 3 years, focusing on career and moving around. Getting back into the scene doesn't seem easy. That's why I signed up on match to start with. Now I am wondering what kind of people I can meet on there... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I have been single for almost more than 3 years, focusing on career and moving around. Getting back into the scene doesn't seem easy. That's why I signed up on match to start with. Now I am wondering what kind of people I can meet on there... Remember that you teach people how to treat you. He continues doing this because you're allowing it. You don't deserve it, but you are sending the message that it's ok by continuing to pay for his treats. Why did you not put a stop to it after he neglected to pay you back the first time? Another important thing to take from this experience is that you cannot apply your own behaviour to others. Just because you would have paid him back (which of course is the adult and courteous thing to do!) doesn't mean he would. He's showing you that his pattern of behaviour isn't the same as yours. We expect other people to behave as we would, but that's generally not how the world works, unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 I want a five-step program to feel better asap. Feel like crap and don't want to go out and don't have many friends around as I am new to the city. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Well, if you want a new boyfriend that you want to pay stuff for all the time that isn't getting plastic surgery on his mom's dime, you can send me a message via inbox. I'll gladly take you to the best steakhouses your money can afford. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Oh my. No. Just no. You can do better. Next. Just move on. There is so much wrong with this guy, I don't even know where to start. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 I want a five-step program to feel better asap. Feel like crap and don't want to go out and don't have many friends around as I am new to the city. 1) Write down 5 things your closest friends and family would say they like about you. 2) Have a bath and do your nails 3) Drink a glass of wine (or hot chocolate or whatever your preferred beverage is) and read the list from step #1 4) Write down 5 positive changes you would like to make in your life. Beside each one, write down one step you can take to achieve that. 5) Start the first item from step #4 tomorrow! And then have another glass of wine and get some rest. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 You forgot #1: Dump him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 You forgot #1: Dump him. My bad, I assumed this was a given! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 OLD is a crap shoot. You never know what you are going to get. I say go by their actions and not what they tell you. If you want someone serious, you have to be serious with your expectations and follow them. If there is something not right, don't stick around thinking it's nothing and it will work itself out. You need to be realistic with yourself. Dating someone that young and immature should be a deal breaker. Remember you are nummber one, and your wants and needs come first. If you don't feel that way, they will walk all over you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 It does not matter how much he pursued you. Right now, in this relationship, he is acting shady and disrespectful. Shady and disrespectful is unacceptable at 18, 25, 30 or 60 years old. Why you're sticking around? That ^^^^ Totally that. Don't hold on what he was when you first met. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I would not only dump him but would want to take him down a peg or two (just saying, although in his case, I don't think he would even know he was taken down). She could tell him to get a penile implant when he goes in for plastic surgery because his nose is bigger than his dick. That might do it. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 mmlee, Not sure where you are at with this thread (only ready first 2 pages ) BUT the thing is, whether he is undermining your self esteem through His behavior and actions or whether you are naturally inclined to be a protective (which is my CIH logic/term for Jealous*), you actually have the power to change this entire situation! You don't want to be a jealous person? Good. Don't* Get rid of what is causing you to feel jealous. Don't dwell on that person or thing. Repetitiously, go over what you DO have that is awesome and that you are thankful for - even if you are thankful you Don't have to feel jealous because a Grown Man who is acting like a Douche is out of your life! ...Sorry again LS and OP another run-on sentence because I got excited about this topic... CIH* 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mmlee Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 Thanks everyone for your advice and honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Thanks everyone for your advice and honesty. My 2 cents is that you sound like a great woman. Please stop wasting your time with this loser. I have a 25 year old cousin that sponges off older women. He has a couple friends who do the same. I'm your age and this whole behavior makes no sense to me... but I'm practically from a different generation. If you want to raise a child then by all means go ahead. If you want to have a partnership of equals... maybe look for guys closer to your own age. Oh... and to answer the topic of this thread... No you are not being a jealous bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
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