Video Game Addiction...

[Ruby Slippers]

Yes, there is work that needs to be done. But he's not doing it.

So... you just bought a house with an overgrown teenager, basically.

 

My last boyfriend endeared me early on when he commented on all the "grown-ass men" playing video games on the train to work, when they could be doing something productive with their time.

 

You're living with and engaged to a man who prefers to plug himself into a digital pseudo-reality for the entire evening, rather than spend any time with you in the real world. This is one of the least attractive behaviors I can imagine. He may as well not even be there.

 

The sad fact is that it's not likely to change much. This is who he is and how he likes to spend his free time. Ask that he put away his toy and he'll only resent you like mean mommy. You're either going to have accept him the way he is, or not.

 

The one good thing is that you haven't married him yet, so you have time to consider whether this is the life you really want to sign up for. I'm imagining your child taking his first steps, saying his first words - but your husband won't see that, because he'll be focused on what his video game characters are up to instead

[sweetjasmine]

I agree. It's one thing if you've taken care of business and in this case, it's unpacking and organizing the new house and getting things set up such as PG&E, internet and etc and then once that's all over, you can play the game for a few hours. It's prioritizing. Go to work, take care of your household chores, spend some time with your wife and once that's over, you can then sit down and play some games. This guy isn't 16 living with mom and pop.

 

Exactly, and this "gamer lifestyle" excuse is pure BS.

 

My husband's a gamer. In fact, he recently started a job related to the industry and he writes about games in his spare time. But he's also an adult, so even if a brand new awesome game comes out, he doesn't sit in front of the computer all night long until 2 am completely ignoring everything else in his life. I'm sorry, but you've moved in with a child. Not because he plays video games but because he thinks it's okay to completely ignore you, the pile of unpacked boxes, and every other responsibility because, hey, this game is super cool! Even when things go back to normal after he gets bored with this game, it'll happen again the next time there's a new release.

 

How would he feel if you spent a whole week completely ignoring him because you were too busy staying up until 2 am obsessing over your own hobby?

[Woggle]

Luckily for my wife I only get into games every few years when a new Grand Theft Auto comes out. The latest one she got into as much as me.

[Sassy Girl]

So then don't date a gamer.

 

Sounds like you just hate people that enjoy games. There are a lot of people that do. They should stay far away from those of us that get great enjoyment from them.

 

 

I said controlling because its literally telling some one how to feel and when to feel it.

 

So black and white huh?

 

It's called moderation... And some gamers can't begin to fathom the concept.

 

Gamers are selfish creatures who get absorbed into some stupid vortex where they lose all concept of time and reason. And this is grown men. for gods sake my 6 year old exercised better will power and moderate behaviour than a grown ass man

Edited October 14, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed poke

[Mysterio]

With respect Sassy Girl. You need to assess your financial situation and get divorced. If you are having an affair if you were serious. Nothing good can come of it. You need your sanity and soul.

[Els]

OP, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of doormattery if you force yourself to do something you don't enjoy just because it's the only way you get to spend time with someone. I've seen people try it, and it usually ends up in resentment and flames. Don't say you weren't warned.

 

Seriously, why aren't you talking to your fiance about this?

 

So then don't date a gamer.

 

Sounds like you just hate people that enjoy games. There are a lot of people that do. They should stay far away from those of us that get great enjoyment from them.

 

 

I said controlling because its literally telling some one how to feel and when to feel it.

 

 

This is just ridiculous. Plenty of us play games and are still capable of controlling ourselves instead of letting it take over the rest of our lives. Like, you know, adults are expected to do.

 

You're right about one thing though - no one should be trying to control what their partner does. They should be leaving if their partner isn't capable of controlling himself/herself.