Is My Brother a Manipulator - Lied about being raped

[Kaiten]

I edited it and added a tl;dr version if you don't want the details

 

My brother and I did not have the happiest home life. Single mom, struggling financially, that kind of stuff. Me and my brother would fight a lot at home when we were younger - a LOT.

Whenever we got into trouble for it, the blame game ensued, of course.

I would always get into trouble because I was older and he was the baby.

 

Throughout the years in public school, I was a class clown and got disciplined for it frequently. Somewhere along the line, my brother began misbehaving as well (we never went to the same school though) and he would always say, "I was just trying to be like Kaiten". And then I would get in trouble. So I was getting into trouble for two people's behavior for most of my childhood.

 

What was strange though, was that he would get into trouble with the law. Drugs, underaged drinking, etc. All I ever did was be a class clown. So he was never really mimicking me. I suspect it was just his was of getting off the hook.

 

My brother had done a lot of lying on me to my friends and anyone who knew me. I was never really sure why but I guessed he just didn't like me. Like I said, we fought at home a lot.

 

I would often go to see my friends and hear ridiculous things about me and then when we'd talk, we would trace it back to my brother.

 

I got sent of to many behavioral clinics as a kid because they thought I would grow up to become a murderer because I would always draw angry people. Turns out that those "angry people" were just Dragonball Z characters. Because I was gone from home so much I never really got close to my family.

 

After I left for the military, I got pretty distant from my family. And it was just what I needed at 18. When I left for the military, our mother called me one day and told me that since I had left, my brother had been getting caught doing a lot of things that she used to blame me for. And that she was sorry for not believing me.

 

Well I am 23 now. He's 21.

 

I had made a drastic change in my life and despite being a fan of dragonball z I am a functioning member of society.

 

There came a time 3 years ago where my brother randomly showed up at the church I was attending. Everyone made a HUGE, ridiculous spectacle of it. It was quite annoying.

 

"Dear God!" they'd say. "This is your chance for God to bring your family back together!"

 

"Hallelujah! Your brother's here! Go talk to him! GO TALK TO YOUR BROTHER RIGHT NOW!"

 

Very annoying. Every time my brother came around, people would come and interrupt whatever I was doing and tell me that he was there. It was like he was a celebrity or something.

 

People would orchestrate hangouts where they would invite my brother and then try to get us to talk to each other ... while everyone else was there. It was like everyone wanted to witness the miracle of "Kaiten's family healing". I ***** you not, they would even ask me to go and grab something at the movies, and then rearrange the seats to where I would end up sitting next to my brother when I came back. Like they wanted us to reconcile right there in the theater.

 

I had already told them that I didn't hold anything against my brother. Since we were not at home anymore, he couldn't really do anything to me anyway. We would talk and laugh whenever we were around each other. I thought everything was fine. I had never started a fight with him when we were younger. I never lied on him either. So I don't think he was waiting for an apology from me.

 

( At some point, my brother had come up with this super-fanciful lie about being raped by someone and told everyone at the church. People were mad at me because they thought I wasn't being sensitive enough to him. When they did an investigation, the sheriffs ended catching him in a lie. And this was after I had warned them that he might be lying, which I had only said because he had done it so much in the past. My brother disappeared after that.)

 

Fast forward a couple months...

 

Then my brother disappeared for a while. I didn't know where he went, but I ended up finding out like a year and a half later. He was in some sort of protection home. I have no clue what it was, but apparently he couldn't leave or have a phone. Being someone who had been in many institutions as a kid, I thought nothing of it.

 

One day, I get a call out of the blue while I'm at work and it's a mutual friend of ours who said that my brother needed a place to stay because he was being kicked out today. I was like "Wait what the hell, I don't even know where he's been, what are you talking about?"

 

The friend who called never made much sense, but I did know somewhere he could stay. I made some calls and got him something lined up, and then I called the mutual friend back and they never answered. That was the last I heard of it.

 

Then fast forward another year, he's on facebook, and apparently living with someone and is being well accommodated. So I didn't worry about it anymore. At this point he's 19.

 

I often talk about changing the world on social media, and so one day after posting a status, someone inboxed me telling me how disappointed they were in me for not reaching out to my brother. I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say. I thought I had.

 

Then after posting another status, they told me AGAIN that I was neglecting my brother and things like that. I mean long-a$$ posts about how I was so mean and unforgiving to him. So I finally asked what they were talking about, and apparently my brother was only saying good things about me now and he was always telling people how much he missed me and how he wished I would come and visit him. Oddly enough, he never told me this.

 

Eventually I went to go and see my brother, and we talked and everything seemed fine. We laughed about all the fights we used to have. We talked for hours, just me and him. Of our own accord. Once again, I thought everything was fine.

 

A few months pass.

 

After a while, I end up talking with the mutual friend again, and she tells me that my brother is now no longer doing so good anymore. And when she tells me I mention that it's the first I'm hearing about it. And then she says,

"I apologize for being upset with you about your brother. I had no idea that he wasn't telling you what he was telling me. I didn't know that he made no effort to speak to you."

 

As frustrating as that was, I forgave her, of course. Didn't think anything of it.

 

So he ends up doing well for himself again and getting into college. He's got a phone (the latest Iphone) and tells me he's got a car and everything. So I'm like, "great!" At this point, I am seeing him at church fairly often and we are hamming it up like old bros.

 

========== AND NOW THE PRESENT PROBLEM ===============

tl;dr

 

Well a couple months pass again, and someone approaches me at church and says, "Dude, you need to reach out to your brother. He's homeless, got nowhere to stay, and he's got no way to get to work, he might lose his job. He told me, Jeffrey, and Larry, and we're all wondering why you won't help your brother."

 

ONCE AGAIN, I'm the last one to know. And this time I KNOW that my brother had a phone. He posts pictures on facebook all the time from his new iPhone. And here people are, getting mad at me like I'm supposed to read his mind.

 

But this time, my phone is broken and I haven't even been communicating with the world. I used a friend's computer to check my facebook and email to see if my brother had sent me anything. Empty.

 

The very next day, I walk up to a friend, and he's just getting off the phone (apparently, they are doing everything they can; scrambling to help him). He gets off the phone and immediately asks me, "Why won't you help your brother?"

 

So my brother is going around asking all these people for help, and I look bad for not helping him even though I have no idea he needs help. So people think that I don't care about him and that I only care about myself.

 

What should I do?

[The Like Fairy]

No one answered because your post was so long I think. I may come back to read later......

 

Can you repost a very condensed version?

[LastAcorn99]

My heart goes out to you…it must have been tough! Sometimes people closest to us can be pretty mean and hurtful. Have you considered speaking about this situation to your pastor or an elder in your church? If that is not possible, I can guide you to people who can advise you in dealing with your situation, let me know. Will be praying for you, friend. –LastAcorn99