LK30 Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Hi all, I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and happy. My colleague at work is a bit younger but he's recently become single. He's a bit of a 'lad' and very popular with girls. He's always telling me about all the lovely ladies he's been messaging or sleeping with. I think he teases me about being 'tied down' and bet I wished I was a single lad too! I know he's cheated on girlfriends before which I think is wrong, but he's always telling me about mates who cheat on their gf's too. I know it's so bad but I've been tempted to do the same. I think it's just 'banter with the boys' when I say I'm sick of being committed to a girl, but I did miss most of my 20's as I got in to a relationship at 21 (not the same one i'm i now) and got her pregnant which I didn't intend, but I chose to stay with her and I see my son regularly as being a good Dad is crucial to me. I guess what I'm worried about is temptation, and almost talking myself in to wanting to do something as horrible as cheating. I've never done it before but could see how easy it must be as I think men always have that thought in their minds which is an instinct. Perhaps my thoughts mean I don't want to be with my girlfriend. I admit, I do lost slight interest in relationships. I think we all love the exciting 'honeymoon' period but it does slip in to a routine, and my mate showing pics of girls in their mid 20's it's hard not to get feelings of lust when you know your own girlfriend has a child and is in her mid 30's! The worst thing is she's lovely, and splitting up with her would not be good at all. I'm mature and need to settle!! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Hi all, I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and happy. My colleague at work is a bit younger but he's recently become single. He's a bit of a 'lad' and very popular with girls. He's always telling me about all the lovely ladies he's been messaging or sleeping with. I think he teases me about being 'tied down' and bet I wished I was a single lad too! I know he's cheated on girlfriends before which I think is wrong, but he's always telling me about mates who cheat on their gf's too. I know it's so bad but I've been tempted to do the same. I think it's just 'banter with the boys' when I say I'm sick of being committed to a girl, but I did miss most of my 20's as I got in to a relationship at 21 (not the same one i'm i now) and got her pregnant which I didn't intend, but I chose to stay with her and I see my son regularly as being a good Dad is crucial to me. I guess what I'm worried about is temptation, and almost talking myself in to wanting to do something as horrible as cheating. I've never done it before but could see how easy it must be as I think men always have that thought in their minds which is an instinct. Perhaps my thoughts mean I don't want to be with my girlfriend. I admit, I do lost slight interest in relationships. I think we all love the exciting 'honeymoon' period but it does slip in to a routine, and my mate showing pics of girls in their mid 20's it's hard not to get feelings of lust when you know your own girlfriend has a child and is in her mid 30's! The worst thing is she's lovely, and splitting up with her would not be good at all. I'm mature and need to settle!! I don't see how you could talk yourself into it. I think most cheaters don't talk themselves out of it. In many relationships, one or both parties will face some degree of temptation. That's not unusual. It's how they deal with it that matters. if you feel you've somehow missed out of the heady, carefree sex life of a single man and you want to experience that, you need to let your girlfriend go. You're already comparing her to girls who are 10 years younger and childless. I think she would be more than hurt to hear you describe her that way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 He's telling you of of his own stupidity, and the stupidity of so many others, and you're truly fascinated by that? Half the time he tells you about "georgous sex with hot young girls" it was drunk humping. If you seriously consider cheating, you're not mature for settling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Well, might simply by that your current mate isn't the right one for you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Temptation is just part of life. Not just for men but women too. Sometimes it's a coworker or someones wife/husband, etc you find yourself lusting for. Most never act on it tho and know it's just a crush, nothing else. What you are going through is normal. We get caught up in responsibilities, being parents, paying the bills, mortgage, car payments, raising the kids, we lose sight of what it is being a couple and fall into a rut. I think what you need to do to resolve this is to date your SO more, spend quality time together as a couple, have parties, entertain, go on trips...you know bring back the romantic connection.....be lovers again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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