I ran from a fight...

[M30USA]

i run from fights wherever and whenever i can ....i hate fighting.....if i cant escape or someone else cant escape i stand and fight.....i fight first by trying to diffuse the situation with communication or talk my way out of it......

 

it's not being a coward to run i feel it is more cowardly to start a fight......i wouldnt have kicked or hit the car that is me though......most people get angry when people do that to their cars...i would have known by the way eh was ....that he was an aggressive person and a possible threat and avoidance would have been my option from the beginning...it doesnt make you a coward to run...but next time if there is a next time dont be aggressive with aggressors...to set them off........deb

 

I see you liked my comment about Bruce Lee. I can't remember which movie it was but, in attempt to show that he believed fights should be avoided if possible, he tricked an aggressive bully onto a boat, jumped off the boat away from him, loosed the ropes, kicked the boat out to the water, then waved goodbye at the man in a humorous way. I thought it was memorable.

[Emilia]

Actually, no. What I described is pretty much exactly what happened.

 

Feeling the love in your post by the way. Not trying to be macho here although I admit the episode was a ego thing.

 

Just sharing my thoughts and experiences...

Imported is right, why obstruct traffic because you don't like the look of some guy? Who does that?

 

Otherwise I'm with dichotomy, the danger isn't just your getting beaten up but the whole thing getting out of hand, the other person being injured as well and your ending up in much more trouble that you bargained for. For all you know he could have a heart condition and die at your feet. Fancy dealing with that?

 

Ego thing? No kidding. Get a job where you can afford a 4x4, maybe you won't be so jealous then.

[Toodaloo]

It was on a sort of loading bay lowered curb next to the bus stop, so as far as I was concerned I was on the pavement. Also he was in a normal car so I didn't see why I should move.

 

Unless the guy is armed I'll stand and fight next time.

 

So the poor sod see's some ignorant jerk on his mobile not bothering to move when he is trying to get to the loading bay and not hold up traffic in London and then the jerk kicked his car???

 

BP why on earth didn't you just move and let the man get on with his daily business? Why on earth did you do that???

 

Its a loading bay entrance... cars can go in there... its for access! You are very lucky... Very lucky indeed... Its not a case of running away from a fight - its a case of why on earth are you wanting to pick on people to get into one???

 

The more I read your posts the more I think that you need to get some counselling or something... You are going to end up in a lot of trouble if you continue on this path. I am actually very worried about you.

[SpiralOut]

What did you want the guy to do instead? I don't ask that sarcastically, I ask that seriously because even though he went a little too far with chasing you down the street, I still don't see what you wanted him to do instead. He told you to move and you didn't. How did you expect him to get around you?

[boilingpoint]

Imported is right, why obstruct traffic because you don't like the look of some guy? Who does that?

 

Otherwise I'm with dichotomy, the danger isn't just your getting beaten up but the whole thing getting out of hand, the other person being injured as well and your ending up in much more trouble that you bargained for. For all you know he could have a heart condition and die at your feet. Fancy dealing with that?

 

Ego thing? No kidding. Get a job where you can afford a 4x4, maybe you won't be so jealous then.

 

So the poor sod see's some ignorant jerk on his mobile not bothering to move when he is trying to get to the loading bay and not hold up traffic in London and then the jerk kicked his car???

 

BP why on earth didn't you just move and let the man get on with his daily business? Why on earth did you do that???

 

Its a loading bay entrance... cars can go in there... its for access! You are very lucky... Very lucky indeed... Its not a case of running away from a fight - its a case of why on earth are you wanting to pick on people to get into one???

 

The more I read your posts the more I think that you need to get some counselling or something... You are going to end up in a lot of trouble if you continue on this path. I am actually very worried about you.

 

What did you want the guy to do instead? I don't ask that sarcastically, I ask that seriously because even though he went a little too far with chasing you down the street, I still don't see what you wanted him to do instead. He told you to move and you didn't. How did you expect him to get around you?

 

 

Ok guys...seriously? I was on the pavement - read my description carefully. This guy drove into me. Not slowly - fast! Then chased me through the streets of London... and I'm the jerk? I'm the bully?

 

The guy was hyper aggressive and because he acts all pissed off, that makes it ok?? It's tough guy bull**** - typical bullying tactics.

 

The only thing I wish I'd done is at least try to throw one well timed punch to take him down a notch. Anything to stop a guy like this doing it again - because I can bet you a million quid he's done it before...

Edited October 13, 2014 by boilingpoint

[Toodaloo]

Ok guys...seriously? I was on the pavement - read my description carefully. This guy drove into me. Not slowly - fast! Then chased me through the streets of London... and I'm the jerk? I'm the bully?

 

The guy was hyper aggressive and because he acts all pissed off, that makes it ok?? It's tough guy bull**** - typical bullying tactics.

 

The only thing I wish I'd done is at least try to throw one well timed punch to take him down a notch. Anything to stop a guy like this doing it again - because I can bet you a million quid he's done it before...

 

No he wasn't. He beeped his horn to get your attention and asked you to move so he could access the loading bay.

 

I am sure if he is driving round London he will have used his horn before to warn people and gain attention to his next manouver...

 

My question is still why were you looking for a fight?

 

From where I am sitting I am seeing a very frightened young man who is getting aggressive to "protect" himself... the question is what from?

 

If you had simply stepped to one side none of this would have happened.

 

Why are you so afraid? What is making you so insecure that you feel the need to fight when its really not required?

[Harradin]

Your fault, could have avoided it by stepping out of the way in the first place. To the other guy it looked like you wanted a confrontation.

 

Imho most people can be talked down, most fights don't really start as they square up and try to intimidate the other guy, they stop if you reason with them because all they want is for you to start swinging at them or people around you tend to try splitting you up. I'd only run if there was multiple people or they had weapons.

 

PS treat every stranger like a top MMA fighter, you never know what they can do.

[boilingpoint]

Whatever. So next time someone doesn't get out of the way when you're parking your car on the pavement, just run them over. Got it.

[Toodaloo]

Whatever. So next time someone doesn't get out of the way when you're parking your car on the pavement, just run them over. Got it.

 

That is not what happened though is it... Noone here is trying to be nasty. We are just trying to point out that had your behaviour been that of a normal person none of this would have happened. Its called taking responsibility for your actions.

[boilingpoint]

Your fault, could have avoided it by stepping out of the way in the first place. To the other guy it looked like you wanted a confrontation.

 

Imho most people can be talked down, most fights don't really start as they square up and try to intimidate the other guy, they stop if you reason with them because all they want is for you to start swinging at them or people around you tend to try splitting you up. I'd only run if there was multiple people or they had weapons.

 

PS treat every stranger like a top MMA fighter, you never know what they can do.

 

yeah yeah. Whatever you say.

[gaius]

They have a guy like that on a website my friend goes to, copblock. Whenever he's not dating someone he's always starting stuff with the cops. Last thing I saw was a video of him screaming down the road on a bicycle screaming at the two cop cars that were after him to get away. I guess getting chased and then roughly stuffed into the back of the squad car in handcuffs satisfies whatever need he would normally get satisfied while dating.

[umirano]

Depends where you are, some places cars DO have right of way. Some places pedestrians do. Some places bikes do. Depends.

Right of way =/= Right to drive into someone. You can still be convicted of reckless driving if you knock someone over even if you had the right of way.

 

It's really simple. If you are on a highway and see a person stand in the middle of the lanes half a mile ahead you have to stop and alert the police. You will not walk free if you knock him over. Same thing on all other roads. Having the right of way does not allow you to knock the person over, crash into some other vehicle or any derivative of this.

[GemmaUK]

Sorry OP but you did a lot to provoke here

 

I like a man who takes responsibility. So shexy!

 

You take none.

You just look for angst IMO.

Enjoy it!

 

*shrug*

[boilingpoint]

Sorry OP but you did a lot to provoke here

 

I like a man who takes responsibility. So shexy!

 

You take none.

You just look for angst IMO.

Enjoy it!

 

*shrug*

 

Pffft. Thanks but if I was trying to be sexy I never would have admitted to running from a fight.

 

I wasn't really looking for approval here anyway but I will say that it takes 2 to tango so people telling me it's my 'fault' really need to try be less biased.

[Trimmer]

I mean it's an ego thing ultimately. I didn't want to get out of the way and he drove into me so the natural thing was for it to escalate into a fight.

 

Unless the guy is armed I'll stand and fight next time.

Your ego will get you hurt or killed. As long as that feeds your ego, then all is good!

 

Whatever. So next time someone doesn't get out of the way when you're parking your car on the pavement, just run them over. Got it.

I'm not going to either criticize or justify the driver's behavior because you are willfully using that as a distraction from the part you played in initiating this confrontation. Since you only had control over what part you played, you should be keeping your focus on that.

 

You talk about fighting and standing your ground, as if it's something to be proud of. The most effective fighters, those who have the skills to most efficiently project force, do so mostly by using intelligence, by maintaining hyper-vigilant situational awareness, by always thinking two steps ahead, and by taking small actions early that prevent the need to project force later on. They size up an area for potential threats even as they are entering it. They play out scenarios in advance and analyze potential outcomes so they can pick a path that minimizes risk to themselves and to those around them.

 

They take two steps back to avoid a fight in the first place, instead of allowing their ego to drag them into intentionally escalating a situation.

 

Every time you "stand your ground", you are rolling the dice and taking a chance on whether you can vanquish your opponent. The logic here is that if your ego convinces you to continue to do so intentionally, you will eventually run into someone who can pound you into that pavement you so defiantly insisted upon occupying. This is why the intelligent fighter considers "standing your ground" in the face of an unknown adversary to be a last resort, for when all other options (including deescalation and withdrawal) have been exhausted.

 

But if your ego drives you to use "stand your ground" as a first reaction, it will expose you to unknown risk, and either sooner or later, that will result in one of these situations turning against you. It's not intelligent self-protection to jump first to a high-risk option, when lower risk options remain unused.

 

Bottom line, in plain language, without all the philosophy: you had a clear and obvious option to avoid a confrontation, but you chose to create one instead. You chose a high-risk path when a simple, accessible, low-risk path was available to you. You did it because of your ego. Your ego will eventually get you hurt.

 

As dichotomy pointed out earlier: the folks with the most developed skills, the most confidence, are the ones most likely to take the two steps back and avoid the whole thing from the outset. I think what you call your "ego" is really some kind of insecurity, because you think that stepping back would have made you seem (or more importantly, feel) weak. That, too, will lead you into unfortunate and risky situations that a bit of intelligence could have saved you from.

[Snaggletooth]

Violence is the last resort, if you can avoid it, do so. Having said that, kicking a fella's car then bolting is dishonourable and an act cowardice. If you're going to walk that path then better to take it on the chin like a man than run away and then try to live with yourself.

 

Next time, when someone toots you to get out the way, just step aside. If you want to be polite, hold up a hand as an acknowledgement and apology for getting in their way. You'll find life a lot easier.

[GravityMan]

Part of maturity is picking your battles carefully. Many times it's better to just let the whole matter drop and move on.

 

Well-adjusted confident people can stand up for themselves and others without being dickish or violent about it.

 

What you did was selfish, OP. This entire conflict could've been easily avoided.

[Toodaloo]

Part of maturity is picking your battles carefully. Many times it's better to just let the whole matter drop and move on.

 

Well-adjusted confident people can stand up for themselves and others without being dickish or violent about it.

 

What you did was selfish, OP. This entire conflict could've been easily avoided.

 

Sorry Gravity but he isn't going to listen to any of us...

 

I guess he is going to have to learn the hard way at some point. I am waiting for the "I have been in hospital for 3 weeks after some wicked and totally out of order person gave me a hiding after I was rude to them..."

[skydiveaddict]

When someone is being an ******* like that I think it's ok to defend yourself by striking first.

 

Without question.

 

Next time I'll aim for the nose and hit as hard as I can. Always then have the option to leg it if things don't go to plan...

 

What you reckon?

 

No no. With a rigid hand, jab him with your fingers in the eyes; hard. You will then be able to put an arm-lock on him and throw him to the ground. This will give you the opportunity to fracture his elbow and/or wrist.

I would do both.

 

Fight is over

Edited October 17, 2014 by skydiveaddict

[boilingpoint]

Every time you "stand your ground", you are rolling the dice and taking a chance on whether you can vanquish your opponent. The logic here is that if your ego convinces you to continue to do so intentionally, you will eventually run into someone who can pound you into that pavement you so defiantly insisted upon occupying. This is why the intelligent fighter considers "standing your ground" in the face of an unknown adversary to be a last resort, for when all other options (including deescalation and withdrawal) have been exhausted.

 

I love the imagery here about getting pounded into the pavement but saying I was 'defiant' implies the other guy was in a position of authority. He wasn't. He was just aggressive. In fact he could have just left the car where it was or come out and asked me nicely. He was on a power trip and wanted to impose himself.

 

If someone tells me to get out of the way I want there to be a good reason for it and it shouldn't matter if they're in a car, a monster truck or a fighter jet... well maybe a fighter jet...

 

Part of maturity is picking your battles carefully. Many times it's better to just let the whole matter drop and move on.

 

Well-adjusted confident people can stand up for themselves and others without being dickish or violent about it.

 

What you did was selfish, OP. This entire conflict could've been easily avoided.

 

I was never violent though - apart from kicking his car. Big deal. I even bitched out after the guy came at me but then in my defence I DID have an important meeting later that day so would not be ideal to risk turning up with black eyes and torn clothes... assuming this guy was as dangerous as he looked. I do know that if someone is coming at you like they are going to jump on you, there's a good chance they'll try to. But you never know unless you stay to find out.

 

Part of maturity is allowing yourself to evolve experientially. A couple of years ago if someone aggressive told me to move out of the way I may have done - not any more.

 

Most people just avoid any kind of risk or confrontation in any case scenario, which is actually the easy route to take. If some jerk is sounding off on the train in London usually everyone ignores them and pretends they're not there to avoid a confrontation. I'm more happy with myself if I've told them to shut the **** up.

 

It's called standing for something.

 

Sorry Gravity but he isn't going to listen to any of us...

 

I guess he is going to have to learn the hard way at some point. I am waiting for the "I have been in hospital for 3 weeks after some wicked and totally out of order person gave me a hiding after I was rude to them..."

 

haha, Toodaloo your always giving me a hard time. I hope you come visit me if I do end up in hospital

[boilingpoint]

Without question.

 

No no. With a rigid hand, jab him with your fingers in the eyes; hard. You will then be able to put an arm-lock on him and throw him to the ground. This will give you the opportunity to fracture his elbow and/or wrist.

I would do both.

 

Fight is over

 

You are awesome :-)

[skydiveaddict]

is a good demonstration of the arm lock

[Maleficent]

The way I see it, you should have moved out of the way and he should have just gone his merry way after passing you.

 

The way i see it you were both douchebags. He is probably on his own forum complaining about the dickface that kicked his car when he was just driving by.

[The Like Fairy]

You are awesome :-)

 

 

He really is

 

Great advice he gave

[Snaggletooth]

Without question.

 

 

 

No no. With a rigid hand, jab him with your fingers in the eyes; hard. You will then be able to put an arm-lock on him and throw him to the ground. This will give you the opportunity to fracture his elbow and/or wrist.

I would do both.

 

Fight is over

 

Striking the first blow and then doing the above will have you banged up for a few months in the UK. Way the law works you've got to wear one first then inflict no more damage on the attacker than he did you.

 

An intruder broke into my home and did me over the head with a pool cue years back. I gave him a left and right, knocked him out, called an ambulance for him and ended up spending the next 24 hours in a cell before being done for gbh. Got to be real careful over here, if you can handle yourself there is more to fear from the law than an attacker.