hellon Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I'm trying to stay positive about my single status, but it's just getting harder. I've now watched all of my ex-LT-boyfriends meet their person, get engaged, and get married. OK so one of them has already been divorced, but he's on to #2... 5 years ago I was with who I thought was "the one," but it turned out, I wasn't the one for him. Since then I've tried to keep an open mind, briefly dated a couple of guys I sort of liked, was in an on/off situation for awhile, and then went on exactly 2 dates with 1 guy who I actually got excited about and that went nowhere. Now there's no one even on my radar. No neighborly flirtations. No work crushes. No long distance possibilities. Nada. Admittedly I'm just wallowing in self-pity, but at this point I've seen so many of my friends (and ex's) get married, I can't help but think "it's me." I can't help but wonder if I should have tried harder to make it work with some of my ex's. Now it seems like there's just no one out there. I'm at a good place in my life and career, everything else has fallen into place, but it's incomplete. How do I stay positive when I feel so left out? Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I think you have to cut down on associating with your ex's. Also. Your path is a different path. Just because they got married, does not mean its going to stay that way. I think you have to pace yourself and make sure that you are in a good place for yourself. Don't look at the act of marriage as the be all to end all place of happiness. Its more important who you surround yourself with family/friends and romantic partners. In other words. Its better that you have a BF that loves and adores you, than you just get married for the sake of it. I believe that more people are getting hitched because they are afraid of the unknown of being single for life. I say the universe gives us what we can handle for the most part. The one thing I resent getting older is that I am deemed as incomplete without a partner. In my case a woman for me being a man. In my mind, unless I really click with a woman and we are insynch with each other. What am I missing being single. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Post an avatar of yourself and the flirtations and ego boosts will start flooding in. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Gosh, as long as you compare yourself to others, you will be picking at yourself right down to the bone. With that said, being so low will make you desirable for undesirables. Start by accepting yourself as being of worth, as I did when I had kept my virginity til I was 30. Knowing you are special and when the right man comes he will see it. That should be a good start for you in your self worth. As for your job and abilities to be strong for yourself will be assets for when you do have a SO. Worrying about when and if, will only keep you from showing your bright and cheery self. Don't look back at what you could have done, when there is more out there for you than what you had. The perfect man can't find you so easy when there are countless roads and a women at every street. No, I did not say the perfect man is hanging around a red light district. Geezo! Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Sounds to me like the perfect opportunity for a great melancholic weekend. This news would have bummed everyone out. You have 3 days to start planning. With a favorite movie/book, food and a very fine wine you are allowed to wallow in your single misery Friday/Saturday. Perhaps meet the family for a bit in between. Come sunday you will start planning whatever fun stuff you want to do and meet men in the wild in the near future (dance lessons, extreme sports, silly speed dating events whatever). Since life/career is in order, all you have to focus on are the good things, which is great Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Any time you have a break in your life that leaves a gap, take advantage of it and learn something new. Take a second job that teaches you a new skill and puts some extra money away, take a night course in something, or volunteer at something you are interested in. If you can afford it, travel. All these things will build your value and put those exes into perspective, because you will be moving forward improving yourself while they are running in place. Don't waste time "waiting" between relationships. If there's something about an ex or men in general you admire that makes you want one, become that, do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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